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An Ugly Girl's Story*

August 31, 2009 By Contributor

I am fat & considered very unattractive. I am often told that I’m a dog/ugly/cow/pig/barked & oinked at by strange men in public.

Two men recently followed behind me on the street for several blocks, loudly discussing what they would have to do in order to make me “f***able” (ie. put a bag over my head, get me to go to a plastic surgeon, etc.)

I try very hard not to take these experiences to heart but this recent one was very disturbing. I realized that I have been avoiding crowded public areas because of this. It also reinforces my feeling that despite my achievements & personality, in this world what really matters is my outward appearance.

– anonymous

Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

*Note, the author of this post wrote the title, too. I think what’s ugly is the behavior of the harassing men!
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Filed Under: Stories Tagged With: patriarchy, sexual harassment, street harassment, unfair beauty standards

Comments

  1. Golden Silence says

    August 31, 2009 at 12:42 pm

    I am sending a hug from the DC area to you. This story really breaks my heart. The way people act in this world just disgusts me! Know that you are beautiful and don’t let the nonsense of those fools beat you down.

  2. Laura says

    August 31, 2009 at 3:58 pm

    I am so sorry that you were treated this way. I know it is hard but please don’t internalize what these men are saying about you.

    I have been called ugly by men in the streets too. Street Harassment is about power, sometimes men just like to take a women down a peg or two because it gives them a rush.

    Hold your head high, everyone human being has something beautiful about them.

  3. Golden Silence says

    September 1, 2009 at 1:58 pm

    The only ugly thing in this story is the behavior of the harassers.

  4. Just Another Reader says

    September 4, 2009 at 2:40 pm

    This story made me tear up (and I’m a man for what it’s worth). Please don’t let those idiots get you down. We must strive every day not to let the lowest and most mean spirited elements of our societies drag us down otherwise we are all lost.

    As far as looks, the world isn’t a fair place and I’d just be lying if I said they don’t matter, but everyone has to make the best of what they have. The world is also a strange place and you find people that find what others would consider ugly really attractive, go figure.

    That said I agree with Laura that this was more about power than anything you look like. They’re just deficient human beings spreading their inadequacy….remain confident…

  5. long beach gal says

    October 13, 2009 at 1:57 pm

    I can relate to your story having been in similar situation because of my lack of curves…im very tall and thin.

    People just dont have morals and respect anymore.
    Its terrible and i feel your pain…just keep your head up

    music helps me with all mylife difficulties…find an outlet for yourself.
    and keep your spirit although people try to break it down.

    best wishes, longbeach gal

  6. Lucy says

    May 6, 2010 at 3:24 am

    Oh, sweetheart… I know how you feel, and it’s just terrible how cruel some people can be. No empathy or compassion whatsoever… there really are some vile excuses for human beings who walk this earth.

    I’ve had a similar experience, where I was walking alone one night and two men (relatively attractive, for what it’s worth) saw my face and promptly balked. As they walked past me, one muttered “she is SO ugly,” and his companion responded with, “at least she doesn’t need to worry about *getting raped* when she walks alone at night.” I went home and looked at my reflection in the mirror, and promptly flung myself at my bed crying for an hour.

    It’s a hard life, I know. Really, really hard. But you need to channel your frustrations towards skills/talents where beauty does not matter… lose yourself in your goals and strive for greatness. That’s what I do, and things have been looking up for me. Don’t let the shallow idiots win!

  7. Nancy says

    May 7, 2010 at 7:54 pm

    I’ve had men on the street call me beautiful AND ugly – on two separate street harassment incidents in the same week! So which am I? Probably neither – it was about THEIR mood, not me.

  8. SamanthaB says

    June 14, 2010 at 8:17 pm

    Ive had this same thing happen to me also, many many times. Around here its rich college guys who have obvious issues. When I got pregnant it got even worse. People gave me dirty looks and sneered at me everywhere I went, but the young guys, they were the worst. If I was alone they would yell out “EW!” at the top of their lungs at the sight of me as if I was something horrible to behold. Once when I was standing still looking at something a few of them were discussing who would have knocked me up, who COULD have knocked me up. They wondered aloud what the poor child would look like. I simply ignored them though I was quite infuriated. As I walked away they began to follow me, saying the same basic things. I started to fume, then all of a sudden I lost it (I was pregnant and hormonal). I turned on my heel, stared right at the ring leader and asked him if he had a problem. He said yah your looking at me and they started laughing. I then proceeded to give them a very loud, well deserved tongue lashing that drew a small crowd. I stood my ground and did not back down, in the end it was them (three of them) that turned tail and walked away from me of course calling me a psycho as they left. Hasnt happened since though lol. Anyway, people do this because they have some kind of unresolved issue within themselves that they take out on others. Its all about power, they chose you as a target because they think you are weak and they can belittle you. Dont let them think they are better than you. Stand your ground and let them know you are not weak, they chose the wrong person to mess with.

  9. SamanthaB says

    June 14, 2010 at 8:20 pm

    Oh yah and I also yelled out “youre not so attractive yourself m*********r!!” at the top of my lungs at a guy who made a passing comment about my looks as I walked by.

  10. Emily says

    June 18, 2010 at 11:33 am

    Asshole bastards. i experience something similar before, but i scream right at their faces. if people look down on you, doint look down on yourself. self esteem is most important, the rest doesnt matter 😀

  11. nick says

    October 11, 2010 at 8:34 pm

    I am a guy and this story makes me sad, however I cant talk cause I can be a prick and I ditched a girl I met online after seeing her cause I thought she was ugly (I feel bad). But as a guy I have even had other guys yelling out there car at me, like goin whoo!! or calling me a little boy (I look young even thoughh I am 20). It so is about power, the guys that yell out the car at you are usually the insecure ones who feel better about them selves after putting others down. This is awful though I have never heard of harassment like this, it jus sickens me

  12. Mari says

    January 3, 2011 at 4:57 pm

    I used to get harassment from guys when I was younger, they used to call me ugly, and a whole lot of other stuff. Funny thing is, some of those people whernt exactly a top example of physical beaty, themselves.

  13. Mari says

    January 3, 2011 at 5:06 pm

    Also, I forgot to mention that in order to look good, I think its also very important to have a very natural relationship with yourself.

    And good looking people are even better looking with a great personality, good self-esteem and good charm.

  14. mayisha says

    September 3, 2011 at 11:16 pm

    I kind of know how u feel, but its only because im 14. ive hade people in school call me fat and ugly, behind my back and to my face! but its not as bad. (yet!) im black and cosidered ugly by many boys and some girls but i can always trust my friends and family to say im beautiful but i havent told myself that yet. i know itll get better u just have to have confedence!

  15. AngelicGeet says

    April 21, 2012 at 11:17 am

    ohhh gal m nt sry 4 u…. bt m sry for those idiots who showd their low mentality…. hold ur head up..coz beauty is nt for the lifetym…. anyy1 cn becum beautiful by surgeries n all… bt no 1 cn buy or inculcate the talents which u hv, the inner beauty of urs!! so dear hv confidence in urself n ignore such losers …. n U r beautiful..!!!!

  16. Jasmine Surreal says

    November 16, 2016 at 11:21 pm

    I share your pain, I get called a hag, a witch, a vampire, fucking ugly, old, fat, a dog, a horse, need a bag on my head, better face down, and physically abused by my partner. I get called those names by mainly women in the street and laughed at, glared at, and occasionally by men. Sometimes I get called beautiful. I’m an ex model, I’m 7st 8, 5ft 5, unusual looking, and I think I’m beautiful when I look in the mirror, despite all the negativity. I look very much like Kate Bush and Rita Hayworth.

    It fucking hurts and I’ve developed a phobia of going out, particularly in London where I moved to as the abuse is much worse. If you are ‘normal’ beautiful that’s OK, if you look like me you are doomed to abuse, loneliness and constant harassment, from beautiful women, ‘ugly’ women, and all in between. I wouldn’t dream of saying anything about anyone, unless they say it to me first then I’m afraid I do fight back.

    I would love to be loved, and valued, instead of being treated like a freak show. I’m now an artist, see http://www.ArtWanted.com/JasUniqueArt, and you are welcome to see my work.

    I know what you are going through, and I want to give you a big hug.

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SSH will not publish any comment that is offensive or hateful and does not add to a thoughtful discussion of street harassment. Racism, homophobia, transphobia, disabalism, classism, and sexism will not be tolerated. Disclaimer: SSH may use any stories submitted to the blog in future scholarly publications on street harassment.
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