Archives for February 2010

I Never Ask For It – Blank Noise Clothing Drive

February 9, 2010 By HKearl

Cross-posted from Blank Noise (in India)

I do not deserve to be violated because of what I wear: I NEVER ASK FOR IT.
We are having a clothes collection drive.

All Action Heroes will bring the garment worn at the time of experiencing street sexual harassment, street sexual intimidation, street sexual violence, or being ‘eve-teased’.

All Action Heroes will come wearing a garment they’ve always wanted to wear but did not wear before .

All Action Heroes will be agents, and spread the word, * bring a friend, start collecting clothes as they read this.

*Action Heroes can be male too- we call them the BN guy- and yes all BN guys can contribute too. We want our BN guys to propose ideas via which men can be involved, addressed in the issue of street sexual harassment. All ideas will be published on the blog and followed up if you commit! Are you a BN guy yet?

A big thank you in advance for linking, tweeting, facebooking and making it happen.
tweet with us at twitter.com/blank_noise

CLOTHES COLLECTION DRIVE DETAILS:

week 1
Saturday Feb 13. 2009
time: noon-4 pm
Bangalore: MG Road

week 2
Feb 20
Bangalore: Majestic

week 3
Feb 27
Delhi:

week 4
March 7
Calcutta/Bombay

More details coming up. Stay tuned.
email: blurtblanknoise @gmail.com for any thoughts, ideas, questions, suggestions

Weekly Round Up Feb. 7, 2010

February 7, 2010 By HKearl

Stories:

I accept street harassment submissions from anywhere in the world.
Share your story!

On this blog, a woman in NYC tells about a sexually explicit comment made to her on her walk home, a woman in an unspecified location tells how a man tried to drag her along with him and his friends, and another woman in Virginia had a man make inappropriate comments to her and then hurl insults at her on her way to work.
On HollaBack DC! a woman remembers how a man spit in her face as she crossed Key Bridge a few years ago and another talks about how she passed by a man who flashed her on the street.
On the blog Freedom Fighter Alicia writes about a harassment experience in Washington, DC ,on the metro.
On HollaBack NYC, a woman successfully told a man who was rubbing up on her on the subway to stop, another woman was masturbated on by a man during her subway ride, and another woman was harassed on the street and then blamed for it by a police officer to whom she reported it.

In the News:

Women and girls in Islamabad, Pakistan, talk about harassment while riding and waiting for buses.
A man groped a woman during a Disneyland ride and she filed a report.
The New York Times covers subway muggings, harassment, and assault and cites New Yorkers for Safe Transit.
Learn how to react to guys who groper on Jezebel.
Rachel Simmons discusses whether or not girls see street harassment as a badge of honor or a battle scar.
Equal Writes discusses anti-harassment ads on the New York subway system.
A writer on the Guide to Global Muslim Culture talks about women-only public transportation from the perspective of a woman who has used it in Egypt.
On Gender Across Borders a writer talks about being fed up with street harassment and the male gaze.
HollaBack NYC co-founder Emily May was interviewed for Global Sister.

Events:

Vagina Monologues fundraiser for a DC chapter of RightRides on Feb. 13 and 14.

Resource of the Week:

Global Action Project’s video “Crossed Lines”

“Have a nice day…you crazy bitch!”

February 5, 2010 By Contributor

The usual comment to anyone who complains about dealing with stuff in the city is to “move to the suburbs.” Well I’ve moved to the suburbs and still deal with street harassment! What infuriates me even more is that I, a Black woman, was once again harassed by Black men who want to keep me in my place.

I have walked down this path numerous times without problems so for this to happen to me just shocked me back into reality. I was walking to the bus stop this morning, and I walked past Key Elementary School. Normally the school’s in session, cars and buses are in the lot and parents are walking their kids to school. Today the parking lot was empty and the school seemed to be closed, which I assume is in preparation for this so-called “Snowpocalypse.”

I noticed a group of four Black men who I’ve never seen in the neighborhood, and I was getting close to passing by them. My instinct told me that they were going to say something to me and that I should cross to the other side of the street to avoid them, but I thought “Let me not stereotype these men.” I continued to walk and looked them in the eye. I didn’t want to look down at the ground. I wanted to go about my day as normal.

But my instinct was right, they did say something to me.

“Smile, Baby,” the leader of their group said in a voice so harsh it sounded like he was barking at me. “You ain’t got to look so mean.” The other guys laughed. I felt so low and humiliated. All I wanted to do was get to the bus stop. Having to smile for men I didn’t know was not on my agenda this morning!

Had Key Elementary been open, this incident wouldn’t have happened because there are too many parents and concerned citizens around for that to have happened. Had I crossed the street like my gut told me to this wouldn’t have happened. Had I been any other race than Black this wouldn’t have happened, because guys like this are only concerned about what us “sisters” do. We have to smile and please “our” Black men. I was upset.

I told this guy “Can you please not call me ‘Baby’? I don’t know you like that for you to call me ‘Baby’. Call me ‘Miss’ or ‘Ma’am’.”
“Okay, I won’t call you ‘Baby’,” the guy said. I thought, “Cool, he gets it,” but then he responds with “I’ll call you ASSHOLE instead!” he snapped. His buddies laughed.

Nothing I did or said warranted that response. I didn’t curse, I didn’t yell or anything. I simply requested to be respected.

“You are strangers to me, and you don’t have the right to call me ‘Baby’,” I said.
“Sorry Ma’am, I won’t do it again,” the guy said. “Have a nice day.”
“Thanks, you too,” I said. But then the guy had to make a smart-aleck comment again.
“Have a nice day…you crazy bitch!” he yelled. Once again, his peanut gallery of friends laughed.

I tried to take photos of this guy with my phone camera, but he was too fast for my slow camera. He realized I was taking photos and jumped into his car with his friends.

“That was so unnecessary,” I said to myself. This car got to drive off and these guys got to share a laugh amongst each other, and I had to feel the rage, humiliation and anger of being a Black woman being put in her place by Black men. I hate that certain Black men feel that they can refer to me as whatever they want because they see me as their property, not as an individual who lives for herself.

I got a clear shot of the car’s license plate in one photo and I could’ve called the police, but with as many stories I’ve reported to the police about harassment, I know they would’ve dismissed me and said “So they called you names? So?” The police don’t care. And also, since we’re both Black, the police probably would’ve assume the harassing group and I knew each other, and that that’s how Black people act around another. That’s not true and that’s not fair.

Even as I type this I’m still shaking and tense with anger. I hate that these men got to me like that, and I hate that they ruined my morning.

– Anonymous

Location: On the Adams St. side of Key Elementary, Arlington, VA

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

“He tried to drag me along”

February 5, 2010 By Contributor

My stories are pretty tame compared to others. My advice below is what is more important to publish. I was standing at a street light and a group of men in there 20’s walking past. One man put his arm around my neck and asked me to follow the group. He tried to “drag” me along but I shook him free. I was shocked because this was in broad daylight with plenty of people around. Some men have no shame anymore.

Like you say in your home page, there needs to be a cultural shift so women are not treated like sex objects. Everyone needs to be taught the lesson of respecting ourselves and others in primary and secondary school. But with the media, internet, music saturated with women as sex objects, this is pretty hard to change. But things we can all do is fight advertisers and the media to stop showing sexist advertising and to ensure we censor the web to get rid of porn. Porn, girlie clubs, prostitutes are degrading to women.

Also, if women want respect, they can’t dress like prostitutes. One simple thing women can learn to do is NOT dress sexy in public. I see many young girls now wearing skimpy clothes including dresses so short they barely cover their bum crack. Honestly, how can you expect men or women to respect you when you dress like sex is on offer? “Dress with respect” is the motto I would be graffitting everywhere. Women can dress pretty, classy but not sexy and definitely not slutty. The golden rule of thumb is the more flesh you expose and/or the tigher the clothing, the more sexy/slutty you look and hence the more respect you will lose. Just remember, dress like a sex object and you will be treated like one.

– anonymous

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

[Blog admin’s note: Just want to state my belief that the way a woman dresses is NOT an invitation to harass or assault her or to treat her disrespectfully. Dressing “like a prostitute” is not an invitation to be harassed and women who are sex workers deserve respect and should not be harassed or treated poorly either. Men harass women wearing all types of clothes and even some women who are veiled get harassed. Changing how women dress is not the answer to ending harassment – ending the socialization of men to think it’s okay to harass and ending a culture of disrespect for women is the way]

Hell’s Kitchen Pervert

February 4, 2010 By Contributor

I was walking home from graduate school at around 2 am, on 9th Ave and 54th St, wearing a large sweater, leggings and rain boots. Then, a middle-aged white man in business attire, who was standing outside a bar said, “excuse me.”

I thought he was going to ask for directions, so I replied politely, “Yes?”

Instead, the pervert said, “Can I squeeze your little titties?”

I was so shocked that all I could say was, “You are disgusting,” and walked away. I looked back to see if he was following me, but thankfully he just kept standing there like a creep.

– LD

Location: 9th Ave and 54th St, New York City

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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