Archives for March 2010

It’s not about the veil; it’s about respect

March 22, 2010 By Contributor

I wear the veil, and in my country many girls wear veils too, we are the biggest Muslim country.

I thought wearing the veil will always help me keep my dignity, or it’s kinda guaranteed to make myself safe. At least it will keep the stereotype that i am a “good girl” and “don’t messed up with me.”

But it was changed when i was in my high school.

Firstly, it happened when i was about go home, and there are some guys called at me: “Girl”.. I was ignoring them until they repeated many times, and said that i am a bitch because i was ignoring them.

I was pissed off, and then came to them and said, “What’s matter boys? You all SHOULD not talk to me that way, didn’t this veil prove you that i aint a slut?”

That was just the beginning. When i was in my first year of college, everyday i took the train. Then came one day, a stalker followed me from station until i took my train. In the train, he was standing behind me. And i’ve got a sexual harassment, because the train was very crowded, maybe no one notice that, he grabbed my ass, though i am wearing veil that time..

It’s kinda crazy, man sometimes doing crazy things because they often think that we, woman is weak and a second-class..

It actually wasn’t about wearing a veil or not. Any woman in this world SHOULD be RESPECTED, whoever they are..

– Movi Riana

Location: Bogor, Indonesia

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

“I’ve been following you for the last four blocks”

March 22, 2010 By Contributor

In the middle of the afternoon, in Edmonton, AB, I was walking around downtown running errands. A man pulled up in a car, stopped, got out in front of me.

“Hey, I’ve been following you for the last four blocks,” he said, very aggressively. There were no other people nearby. I got nervous.

“Um, that’s flattering,” I said, sarcastically. I think the sarcasm was lost on him.

“So, let’s go grab a drink,” he said, looking me up and down blatantly.

“I’m married,” I replied, which was actually true. In fact, I had just come from getting a copy of my marriage license.

“Oh, what did you do that for? That’s terrible!” He said.

“Well,” I replied. “It’s sad for you, but it’s wonderful for me, actually.”

“Oh, um, well, good for you,” he said.

“Thanks. Bye!” I walked away as quickly as I could.

– anonymous

Location: Edmonton, AB, Canada

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

Stalked since I was 12

March 22, 2010 By Contributor

When I was twelve, a man who lived down the street started following me to and from school, when I lived in Dawson Creek, BC. He would tell me that he missed ‘seeing my pretty face’ and that he wanted me to ‘come and visit him sometime.’ When I refused, he started stalking me.

I told my mom about it, and she told me it was my own fault for not being street smart enough. So I just tried my best to avoid him until I was old enough to move to a different city. In the six years that he harassed and stalked me, I suffered panic attacks and constant fear. My grades suffered, and I was eventually expelled from school.

I remember running from him one day after school, how he chased me through the trees beside the school. I was lucky that I was a fast runner. I was terrified, but I was also so ashamed. I felt like it was my fault, that if I was somehow smarter, or less pretty, this wouldn’t be happening to me. It wasn’t until later that I realized that the only reason he did this to me was because I was a girl.

– anonymous

Location: Dawson Creek, BC, Canada

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

Weekly Round Up March 21, 2010

March 21, 2010 By HKearl

Stories:

I accept street harassment submissions from anywhere in the world. Share your story!

On this blog, a woman in Los Angeles is arrested after she sprays mace at an aggressive harasser (!), a woman in Georgetown, DC, tells a harasser to stop and he tells her she can’t tell him what to do, a woman in Georgetown, DC, gets an apology from a harasser, and a woman in NYC is harassed by a group of teenagers on the subway on St. Patrick’s Day.
On HollaBack NYC, a woman helps get a pervert at a diner kicked out, a group of women harass another woman using race-based slurs, a woman photographs a creepy guy on the train, and a group of men harass a woman from their car as she walks home in Brooklyn.
On HollaBack DC, a woman is grabbed by a man on a subway escalator, a guy threatens to walk a woman home, a man yells out to a woman from his car and then curses at her when she doesn’t thank him for the “compliment,” another woman gets into a dialogue with a harasser after he calls her sweetheart, and another man tells a woman he has condoms and all he wants is one night with her.
Street harassment stories on other blogs: “Rape Culture Hurts Everyone,” on Feminuity, “Street Harassment [in Morocco],” on Studying Abroad, and “Dear Creepers,” on Stories from the Realm.

In the News:

My Republica reported on street harassment in Nepal.
A man was arrested under suspicious of assaulting two transwomen in NYC with a metal pole.
Toronto’s The Globe and Mail printed an article entitled “Guys, catcalls are never cool” (I’m quoted in it).
Numerous news sources and blogs reported on research by Stephanie Chaudoir and Diane Quinn of the University of Connecticut that revealed that based on how women who are harassed feel, men who harass women in public give all men a bad name.

Announcements:

HollaBack NYC is looking for volunteers with various skill sets to help them take their work to the next level.
Share why you “Holla Back” for the HollaBack NYC website.

Events:

Resource of the Week:

Todd Denny’s book Unexpected Allies: Men Who Stop Rape

Arrested for defending self against street harasser

March 20, 2010 By Contributor

Today I was arrested for defending myself against a man who was sexually harassing me and verbally assaulting while putting my life in danger in my car.

I was driving down Wilshire Blvd and there was a man, light skinned hispanic or black man, who was driving a 4 Runner, driving alongside of me as I was driving my car. Intitally, he was on the left side on my passenger’s side making a pass towards me. I used my hand to indicate that I wasn’t interested and that is when he crossed lanes and got on my driver’s side and started calling me a “bitch,” and other hideous names. The whole time he was riding dangerously close to me.

Feeling threatened, that is when I pulled out my mace and sprayed his car. He then proceeds to continue to stalk me as I drive through traffic. I arrive at a parking lot where I know the people and he gets out.

I see him on the phone and that is when I call the cops. The cops came out after about 1 hr to 1 hr and 30 minutes and the attitudes of the cops is what repulsed me even more. They tell that I shouldn’t of said or did anything, despite the fact that he was assaulting me (calling someone “bitch” is considered assault) and I really didn’t say anything.

They told me that I should have called the cops even after I explained to them that in the past when I have called the cops for stuff like that, the cops would just dismiss it off as “A pretty girl complaining about a guy ‘bothering’ her,” and not take it seriously. They angrily told me that I shouldn’t of used the pepper spray. I saw them cajoling with the guy on “man stuff.”

The worst thing of was when they said that, “All of this could have been avoided if you had gone in another direction.”

They also told me that had I cursed him out I would have been seen as the aggressor. They arrested me for it, then let me go, but not without taking my pepper spray and my camcorder.

What I went through was pure horror and I didn’t deserve it. How dare a perp – who has prob gone to prison (I noticed he had prison tattoos) – have more rights over someone like myself simply because I was merely defending myself. The problem here is not me, but our society.

No man or woman has the right to strike at someone simply because that person refuses to bend to their advances. Most importantly, that person shouldn’t have power to punish someone who was merely defending herself against a vicious assault on her personhood.

Now I have to face the city attorney simply because I refused a man’s advances. Where did our system go wrong? I need legal counsel, information on places that deal specifically with ending street harassment and codifying it into law.

The problem will persist as long as law enforcement not only turn a blind eye, but give the perps a “pass” by making it seem like it is a case of “boys will be boys,” while girls are supposed to be punished for being girls AND women. I don’t know what to do. I am pissed, but I don’t know what to do or where to go? If you have info on feminist lawyers or feminist/ anti-street harassment orgs, please forward them to me. This has got to stop.

We live in America and, basically, in effect, the guy can curse me out, call me names, stalk me, etc, but the only way I can avoid issues is to not be seen nor walk out in public like women in Islamic countries. For the kicker, the man can attack me and call me any names he likes, yet, when I fight back by calling him a name or take action, it is MY fault!

Funny thing was, when I had a man arrested for battery, the cops were cajoling with the perp with the male officer saying to me, “You know he can sue you for false arrest and imprisonment, right?” Basically, our judicial system is marred by a long time tradition of misogyny and anti-woman attitudes.

What happened to me today; I didn’t deserve it NOR all the women victims of domestic violence who go silent since they know the cops will do nothing – as I explained to the three officers today – and will only then act when the woman decides to act in self defense all because the cops didn’t do anything!

BTW the sickening aspect of it was that the cops was asking the guy if he would accept an apology from ME!

– anonymous

Location: Wilshire Blvd, Los Angeles, CA

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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