Archives for April 2010

I am not walking sex

April 12, 2010 By Contributor

I am sexually harassed on a daily basis. Thinking the problem is me, I have tried to change to make it stop. I’ve smiled at my harassers, I’ve ignored them, I’ve flipped them off, I’ve thought up all sorts of female-positive responses, I’ve walked innumerable different routes home hoping to avoid them. I’ve tried wearing sweatshirts and Carhartts, wearing sunglasses, wearing my headphones.

The men catcall, whistle, shout, hiss, clap, honk, squeal their tires, tap their feet, and snap. They say damn, shit, ho, bitch, beautiful, gorgeous, tits, ass, fuck, have my babies, marry me, come home with me, suck my cock, nice dress, why don’t you smile?

Don’t worry, the remarks aren’t disproportionately generated by a certain race, class, or occupation. White, wealthy, smelly, blue-collar, Black, well-dressed, homeless, Mexican, educated, good-looking, old, immigrant, dirty, young, walking, biking, driving, sitting. No matter who the man appears to be or what his status, he assumes that degrading, sexist comments about my body are acceptable.

Now, some analysis. After all this being ‘done to’, I’m ready to take action. Notice all the derogatory phrases these men think up are male-positive and involve the male invading or being in the active position? Like I said before, I’ve tried turning that language around by saying things like, “Lick me where I pee” or using the word “cunt” in response and have found these responses useless, frustrating. Along the way, I’ve reclaimed words, I’ve manipulated their meanings in my head, even discovered some great history behind the words but all within the realm of action that my harassers define. I’m tired of being responsive, defensive, pensive. It is time for an offensive.

– Anonymous

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

Weekly Round Up April 11, 2010

April 11, 2010 By HKearl

Stories:

I accept street harassment submissions from anywhere in the world. Share your story!

On this blog, a woman in Australia shared her first street harassment experience as a 14 years old, a woman in Ontario is told by a man that he wants to be her bicycle seat, a woman in Washington, DC, shared three street harassment stories that occurred during her commutes, a woman in NYC said men in her neighborhood often harass women and like to humiliate them, and another woman in NYC listed all the ways she is typically harassed in a week (hint: it’s a depressingly large amount).
On HollaBackNYC, a woman shared how she was harassed a lot while wearing shorts and decided not to wear them anymore but then realized the harassers had the problem – not her, and another woman wrote about how a man harassed and followed her on the subway and so she reported it to the police (who were helpful).
On HollaBackDC! a man grabbed the butt of a woman when she was unlocking her bicycle, a bystander witnessed a group of men harassing a woman in a metro station and shares advice for intervening, a man stopped a woman to tell her she was beautiful, then hugged and kissed her, and another woman told a harasser to shut up after he “complimented” her.

In the News:

“Women fend off sexual attacks downtown” in San Diego
“Sexual Harassment in Egypt“
“Harassment on the Tracks May be on the Rise” (in NYC – HollaBack NYC and RightRides are featured)

Announcements:

Check out the new Stop Street Harassment YouTube Channel
April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Here are 10 activism ideas for how you can raise awareness about this widespread problem and/or help raise funds for preventative programs and resources for survivors.
Take two street harassment surveys and help researchers studying this problem.
The submission deadline for an anthology on Queering Sexual Violence is extended until May 1, 2010.
The Safe Delhi Campaign is looking for volunteers and interns.
Blank Noise in India is looking for new logo submissions
If you’re interested in becoming a RightRides driving team volunteer, email volunteer@rightrides.org – orientations will be occuring throughout April.
Share why you “Holla Back” for the HollaBack NYC website.

Events:

If you’re in NYC, come to a Vagina Monologues fundraiser for RightRides
If you’re in the Washington, DC, area, HollaBack DC! is hosting or participating in several events across the next few weeks, check out the info on their site.
Sign up for Washington, DC, based Defend Yourself’s annual class on dealing with street harassers, being held on May 22.

Resource of the Week:

A new blog about harassment in Egypt

“Was it the school uniform that made you think it was appropriate?”

April 11, 2010 By Contributor

The first time I was ever harassed on the street was when I was 14. I lived a few blocks away from a close friend and she and I would walk a main street to see each other. We would always, always get whistles or honks, and unintelligible things shouted at us by passing drivers. I remember thinking, “Isn’t it creepy they’re doing this to us at THIS age?” But then it never got less creepy and jarring as I got older.

– DM

Location: These childhood incidents took place on: Green Street, Mount Hawthorn, WA 6016, Australia

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

“I want to be your bicycle seat”

April 10, 2010 By Contributor

I had locked up my bike at one of my city’s busiest intersections to go shopping. As I was unlocking it and getting ready to ride off, with people bustling all around, a man in the back of an SUV told me I looked sexy in my helmet (obviously being sarcastic and insulting). He then told me that he wished he were my bicycle seat. URGH! Disgusting. I tried to play it cool and address him directly, but all I could think of as he drove off was how I wished I had had some awesome, witty comment to shut him down. I was so amazed as how willingly some guys make complete idiots of themselves.

This made me realize that regardless of what you are wearing, or what you are doing, if you are female you are ALWAYS a potential target for street harassment. What made me even more angry was knowing that had my male partner been there, that guy would never have said anything (just like how some guy wouldn’t have tried to grab my ass on the subway escalator had I been with a male friend / partner or not alone).

I know that what I experience is nothing compared to what many women experience, and yet I still get really pissed off. Street harassment has to stop.

– FJ

Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

“I felt like a lab specimen”

April 9, 2010 By Contributor

I’ve already dealt with several street harassers this week. I thought the bulk of my harassment was over. But nope, that was only the beginning!

When I boarded the bus to go to my studio for a workout, these boys sat near me (one of them sat next to me). I tried to ignore them but they were so obnoxious. They were making commentary about the girls walking outside, and it was tacky. (I’m sure my looks got rated by them as well.) I excused myself to move away from them when I heard what sounded like the click of a camera phone. Did these clowns just take my photo?! I heard snickering and giggling after I moved.

A few moments later, a woman boarded the bus, and the boy who I was previously sitting next to started patting on the now empty seat next to him while checking this woman out. I had had it with being quiet and had to say something.

“You do not respect women,” I said. “No respect. I saw you checking out those girls outside, I saw you checking out that woman who just boarded, and I know you took a picture of me.”

These boys denied any wrong doing. The one who took the photo claimed it was a gun application on his phone.

“My phone makes that same clicking noise when it takes photos,” I said. “You’re lying.”

Then they changed their story and saied that they were taking pictures of each other. And when it came to checking out women, first they denied it, but then they said they were “grown men and had the right to check out fat [phat?] asses.” So which was it? Either you were ogling women or you weren’t.

I started taking photos of these boys (and a video that came out too poorly to post), and they got pissed.

“Yo, this bitch is taking our picture!” they yelled. (Though only two are pictured, there were actually three of them. One was sitting on the other side and out of the camera’s range.)

I felt like a hypocrite for a moment, and yes, those boys let me know that I had no right to complain about them taking my photo when I did the same thing.

They repeated it and then the bus driver yelled at me to “stop taking pictures. You can’t take pictures on this bus!”

Since these boys were full of lies, I decided to lie back. “I erased the photos,” I said. “Let it go!” (Obviously I didn’t really erase them.)

But they refused to let it go. They started making comments about me, calling me “ugly,” “bitch,” and even calling me a “faggot.” They did running commentary about what I was doing (“Ooh, look at how she’s moving her mouth!” “Look at how she’s trembling!”) and told me to “shut up, mind your business” and “Don’t you have a book to read?” What assholes.

Then other passengers jumped in. A woman on the back of the bus yelled “Bitch, that’s my man you’re messing with. If you touch him, I’ll beat your ass!” The whole bus looked at me and laughed. I felt like a lab specimen. It was a sick feeling.

The boys finally decided to stop clowning on me, but this was one stop before I got off so it wasn’t much relief. I think the boys got off at the same stop I did, but I didn’t bother to look behind me and thank god they didn’t try to get the last word or action. I’m just upset that I didn’t get the bus number or the route number (the 30-Line buses all go the same direction to Friendship Heights, and I rarely take notice of which one I board when I do).

When I got to my studio, I wanted to cry. I was so shaken up and didn’t deserve what I went through. But since most of my friends tell me the same garbage of “You should have ignored it,” “You need to get a thicker skin,” and “Why do you always have so many problems and get into so much trouble?”, I didn’t want to say anything about it. I survived my workout and those horrible feelings had left my system, but I took the train home afterward and when I got off to transfer at Metro Center, a guy waiting to get on the train looked me up and down and said “Mmm…beautiful!” All that anger came right back and I immediately called him “Ugly!” in response.

I feel like my freedom of movement is long gone. I can’t go anywhere without some man making commentary about my looks, and when I reject them, they get aggressive. And I’ve learned the hard way that no one will jump to my defense and help me when I get into a bind with harassers. The peanut gallery will either gawk, stare, laugh or turn their heads and ignore it.

I am tired of these men and the bystanders treating me like garbage. It makes me feel so worthless.

– “Tired of Being Harassed”

Location: One of the 30-Line buses going towards Friendship Heights, Washington DC

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

[Editors note: For people paying attention to the photos posted with the stories lately, mostly they have been of African American men. This does not mean men of other races do not harass women. Men tend to harass women of their own race the most and the blog contributor who has submitted the stories w/the pics is African American.]

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