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Archives for May 2010

Using Fear to Trick a Woman

May 18, 2010 By Contributor

I’m from Reykjavik, Iceland, and I want to share my story as a warning to other women.

Although I do get a lot of verbal harassment in the US, I feel somewhat safer here than back home in Iceland, because the stories you hear there are mostly about rape. That said, I haven’t heard of any statistics that imply that rape is more common in Iceland than anywhere else. What I’m implying is that even though a country or culture does not present itself as male-dominated or predatory (through common cat-calling to insults and grabbing, for e.g.), there is always a chance of danger, unfortunately.

One Saturday night I was sitting on a bench on the main shopping street in Reykjavik, Iceland. I was drunk and tired, and against my better judgment, I sat down on the bench to take a break from walking home. Within a minute, a guy around 20 years of age approached me. He said that I shouldn’t sit there alone, I looked like easy prey and that he would like to walk me home, to make sure that I would be safe.

I said that I was glad for his concern, but that I would be fine by myself. He kept insisting, saying that he would feel awful if he didn’t make sure that I’d get home safely. He seemed very genuine and sweet, so I gave in.

During the fifteen minute walk to my house (I was living with my parents at the time) we talked about what we do, and mostly his girlfriend, whom he said he was in love with.

When we got to my house he asked to come in, he needed to call a cab and didn’t want to wait in the cold. I was reluctant, but said OK. When we got inside we sat on my bed, because there was nowhere else to sit, and he began touching my shoulder and thigh, asking for a kiss, just one kiss.

I was shocked. I asked him about his girlfriend, who called at that very moment, and he lied to her straight about being at a party and explaining that it was quiet because he was in the bathroom!

His taxi came and he ran out the door, thankfully.

After this incident, I don’t trust anyone to walk me home except my husband and some very close friends. The fact that this guy used my fear of sexual assault to harass me in such a calculated way is alarming. I HATE to say this, but women, be vary of strange men, even the “nice” ones.

– K.

Location: Reykjavik, Iceland

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: fear of rape, Iceland, Stories, street harassment

Care to join me?

May 17, 2010 By Contributor

The first time that someone harassed me I was 16 and the offender in around 80 years old. I was waiting on my buss listening to music and suddenly this old man is asking me something. I take out one of my headphone and listen what he got to ask. “Is this where the bus to … leaves” (I don’t know where he had to be anymore), so I answer and want to go back to my music, but he starts talking about the second world war and all his friends he has lost. I didn’t want to be rude so listen. I thought: “This is just a lonely old man who needs someone to listen to him once and a while.”

Suddenly his hand is on my leg and I start to feel uncomfortable, but didn’t knew how to react. This was the first time this happened to me. So I move away from him. He pretends it didn’t happen and goes further with his story. After a while his bus arrives and he says: “Oh well. That’s my bus. Care to join me?”

I tell him I didn’t. He keeps repeating his question a couple of times and tries to touch my leg again. I keep saying no. After a while I get sick of it and just leave. This happened 5 years ago and I still feel disgusted by it.

– anonymous

Location: Ghent, Belgium

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: belgium, ghent, Stories, street harassment

They like to get us young

May 17, 2010 By Contributor

The first time I was ever made to feel frightened of a man in a public place was when I was 4 years old. We were at West Edmonton Mall and I was walking a little bit behind my mother. A group of guys surrounded me and one picked me up and pretended to carry me away. I screamed and kicked and they put me down. They walked off laughing about the incident.

– Sarah

Location: West Edmonton Mall, Edmonton, Canada

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: assault, Stories, street harassment, West Edmonton Mall

Leering at the grocery store

May 16, 2010 By Contributor

Just when I thought I could go for a period without being harassed…

I went to the grocery store this evening, and as I went to grab a cart outside I saw two guys standing near a cab talking. The guys stop talking and start staring and grinning at me. It was annoying.

“Do you see me smiling?” I said. “I repeat, do you see me smiling? Stop staring…that’s ignorant!”

I saw them both jump into the cab and thought I was through with them. WRONG!

As I was browsing the aisles, I saw one of them in the store! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?! This guy was telling some other guy, “Man, what did she have to get all excited for?” When this guy made eye contact with me I sneered. He does the same. A few seconds ago you had no problem grinning like a buffoon at me, so now you want to act offended? And it pissed me off that this guy was telling his friend about me as if I were the one causing problems. What a loser!

I ducked into another aisle, and luckily that was the last time I’d see him, phew.

I wish I had taken my phone out to catch a photo of this creep (and the first creep that was with him when he was outside near the cab), but I had my hands full at that moment.

Can’t even do some grocery shopping without dealing with these idiots. Damn!

– Tired of Being Harassed

Location: Lyon Village Giant, Arlington, VA

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: grocery store leering, street harassment

Porch harassers

May 16, 2010 By Contributor

On my way home from the gym, I walked past a house where a couple of college students were living. One was sitting in the living room, and when he saw me he came out of the house and stood on the porch as he yelled at me and whistled. I was really afraid, so I ran all the way home. I live in the Cleveland area, and stuff like this happens all the time.

– MCF

Location: Cleveland, OH

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: sexual harassment, street harassment

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