Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

Archives for May 2010

Stolen sense of safety, privacy, and self

By

One night I was walking home alone. I worked early Saturday mornings and usually left my friends at around 11 or midnight to go home to bed. My neighborhood was pretty busy at that time and I rarely felt uncomfortable–a good cocky walk and a glare was usually enough to keep people at bay. But this one night was different.

I had stopped and gotten a slice of pizza at the little restaurant a block down the hill from my house (ONE BLOCK). I was trudging up the hill, focusing on not dropping my glorious piece of indulgence, and barely heard the guy calling to me. It was the same as usual: “Oh, hey! There you are! Hi! Hey!” I was so used to just ignoring those comments that I didn’t even look up, just kept my eyes on my teetering paper plate and the sidewalk in front of me. In fact, I don’t think I even registered that someone had been catcalling me until after a hand slipped into my eyeline, past my coat-draped arm, and took a big handful of boob. Shocked, I stopped walking and froze in place at which point the CRETIN laughed out loud, stepped past me down the hill, turned around, and grabbed me between the legs. Laughing, he then proceeded on his way, leaving me to stand there, shaking, and impotently yell, “Get the fuck away from me,” at his retreating form.

I wanted to scream at that man. To grab him by his shirt and spit in his face and ask him how he would feel if someone did that to his sister, or his mother. I wanted to tear down walls and throw punches and just explode in anger. I could feel every bit of my being vibrating inside of me, ready to bust out and kick ass. But I couldn’t. It was like he had put me in a straight jacket. I could barely move my arms. I walked feebly the fifty yards or so to my house, walked inside, and called my biggest, baddest male friend. I don’t know why I called him, but just hearing him get so upset about what happened helped a lot. I remember sitting in bed, sobbing, trying to figure out why that had happened–what I had done wrong.

Looking back, I’m horrified that I would even entertain the idea that what had happened to me was my fault–that I had somehow indicated to this anonymous swine that I would be okay with him touching me ANYWHERE let alone the places he touched me.

In the end, there was nothing I could do–I hadn’t seen his face. I made sure I was more on guard when walking alone (god forbid I let my guard down literally across the street from my front door!), and eventually, when the discomfort and panic didn’t subside, I moved to a different part of the city.

I hate it that the lesson I learned–and that my friends learned with me–was to just be more defensive. I could see my front door! We shouldn’t have to feel constantly threatened whenever we step outside. We aren’t worth less and we don’t have to put up with it. It isn’t just something “that happens” that we should get over. It’s horrible. This man took away my sense of safety, of privacy, of self. He stole something from me that was big and important and valuable.

– anonymous

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

Share

Football supporters on the train

By

I was taking a train back from Manchester (UK) at around 8.30 last night, and to my dismay a load of drunk football supporters also got on and sat in the seats in front of me and behind.

I was quietly reading my magazine when some of the men in front started commenting on my hair and one leant round to try and talk to me. I responded calmly and he winked at me. No harm done so far, but definitely not appreciated attention.

Unfortunately, as the train ride continued the men started to get more rowdy and were looking for entertainment. They kept making incredibly rude and sexual comments in my direction, until I was too intimidated to get up and struggle to another seat with my suitcase. I was terrified, alone, and with nowhere to go. Most upsetting to me was that I never saw a member of train staff once during my ride who I could have spoken to, the trains are unsupervised, leaving those being harrassed to fend for themselves. I don’t know of any other form of public transport where this is so often the case, and yet I’m aware that this is a common occurance.

Eventually I got up to get off the train, only to be followed with comments about my ass and what they thought of it. I was scared that they would possibly follow me off the train, as they were egging each other on to run up and touch me. Luckily I got off fast enough and walked very quickly home.

Most shamefully was that other passengers, mostly other males old enough to be my dad (I’m 20) just sat and watched whilst this happened. Do they not realise that this was someone else’s daughter, or girlfriend, or sister?

I’m considering writing to the train company about my experience, as I do feel trains should be better monitered. There is no way I should be made to feel threatened to take a train home because of my gender. It is absolutely ridiculous that people can get away with this.

I would have spoken up about it, but I was worried that fueling the fire of several very drunk men who get off on being violent and intimidating was probably a bad idea.

I would really like to see more action taken on something that has become almost expected. It shouldn’t be this way.

–  Sophie,

Location: Manchester, UK

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

Share

So chilling

By

Via twitter, I was alerted to this chilling video that captures a huge group of men harassing and attacking women in the streets of Iran.

In the comments of the article, someone posted a link to a video clip from a film by a Dutch woman who goes to Iran to see what it’s like to be a female tourist. On camera, men grope her and harass her as she walks down the street. Next it appears she goes into a building to escape them and a security guard comes to talk to her and starts off by kissing each cheek and hugging her, which she allows b/c it seems like he’s just being polite and reassuring. But then he won’t stop and soon is seen groping her breasts while she fights to get away.

I feel frightened for the women. I feel frightened for all women around the world who face street harassment from men in public places. We must work to end this global problem!

Share

In Bangladesh, six street harassers go to jail

By

Earlier this month, six young men in central Bangladesh were sentenced to seven days in jail for engaging in eve teasing, or street harassment, under Section 34 of the Code of Criminal Procedure. This is the first time men have gone to jail for eve teasing.

A unit of the Rapid action Battalion (RAB-11) caught the accused young men harassing a group of female students from the Gono Bidyaa Niketon School, in Narayanganja District. They were arrested on the spot and tried the next day.

The police superintendent said the punishment was meant to serve as a warning to any potential wrongdoer. “It will prevent this type of crime,” he said, “which we are trying to eradicate.”

Their attention to this matter—which impacts women worldwide—has been spurred by an increase in the number of women committing suicide because of harassers. Recently, for example, 14-year-old student Umme Kulsum Elora killed herself by drinking pesticide in order to escape a 19-year-old man and his friend who had been harassing her in the streets for a year. Her family had talked to the man’s family and to school authorities but nothing changed. So she took matters into her own hands. So sad!

In Bangladesh, human and women’s rights activists welcome the prison sentence. They hope it will set a precedent and be used in future cases. They also hope it will deter street harassment from occurring. Me too.

When will police, legislators, and human rights activists in the United States pay attention to this issue? When will we have a law against street harassment?

Share

A small, good thing

By

The sun is shining on London’s suburbs. A funfair is in town. People are wandering into the park to take in the atmosphere, try their luck on the coconut shy, or brave the ghost train. The cool lads are hanging about by the park gates, pretending not to care. But secretly they feel like running over to the scariest looking ride and jumping on like the kids they still are. Two girls approach from across the road, heading towards the candyfloss and sawdust, the thrill and dingy sexiness of the fair. One of the boys, he seems like a ringleader of the group, he’s taller and louder than the others. He turns and looks the girls up and down, deliberately resting his eyes on their chests, the bare skin of their bellies where their tops don’t quite reach. ‘OH yes.’ he says, for the benefit of his mates. ‘You are VERY sexy. Hot.’ He doesn’t go so far to block the girls’ way into the park, but he thinks about it. They faulter a little in their step. They know he could do whatever he wanted. But they walk on by, trying to ignore the whistles and catcalls that follow them.

I have witnessed this scene or versions of it, a thousand times before. Sometimes I am one of the girls, other times I am just present, maybe a few feet away, but within earshot and full sight of what is being said and done. I have never intervened in such casual, seemingly ‘innocent’ banter. It is just what boys do isn’t it?

But this time the story didn’t end there. One of the lads, quieter than his friend, looked at his friend and said in a clearly disapproving tone: ‘don’t be stupid. You don’t even know them’. Then he turned away from the agression he’d perceived from his mate, and walked down the street, a couple of the other boys following him.

It wasn’t much. A girl was harassed on her way to the fair. A boy challenged his friend, showing he opposed this harassment, of girls, who the boys didn’t even know to say hello to. It didn’t change the world. But it made me stop in my tracks. I had never seen a man speak out against the sexist behaviour of his friends before, let alone such a young man. It was a small, good thing, and it made me proud.

– @quietriot_girl (cross-posted from her blog)

Location: London, UK

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

Share