I was walking down the street in downtown Toronto, and a guy in front of me walking in the opposite direction stopped to oogle me and seemed to mouth something like “Wow” (I was wearing my headphones and walking very quickly, so I ignored it.) After 10 minutes of walking, I reached a bookstore and used their facilities on the second floor. Immediately after leaving the restroom, the same man who I encountered 10 minutes ago was outside and blocked my path, saying, “Wow, what’s your background?”
I got out of his way and said, “I have to go. Bye” (I’m usually not this polite, but I was just taken a back by his creepiness/stalking).
I spent another 20 minutes downtown, browsing in various stores, etc. Then I walked another 10 minutes to a nearby mall. I spent about 10 minutes in one store, I tried something on, then I purchased it. Then, as I was exiting that store, who do you think I found right outside? Creepy stalker guy.
I try to bolt away, he proceeds to run after me, trying to hand me his number. I yell to him, “NO! F*** OFF!” He then backs off. I walk home, but am paranoid that this creep may be following me still and find out where I live.
Oh yeah, and someone else harassed me on my way back home.
– anonymous
Location: downtown Toronto
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Golden Silence says
If you see that nutjob stalker again, call the police. Running into a harasser once is bad enough, but this is beyond pushing the limits. Did he think he was going to flatter you by following you around the store? These harassers lack the common sense that us normal human beings have.
LS says
To me, this type of stalking is a way harassing men try to force themselves on women, disregarding our boundaries and our right to say, “NO!” I’m glad you got out of that situation without being harmed physically, but it’s not just about the physical. It’s also about how these harassers negatively affect us emotionally. His behavior towards you was completely unacceptable, following you around town like that. He’s sending a clear message that he’s not fit to date a woman, never mind have a relationship.
One of the things that bothers me the most about street harassment is that so often we are taken aback or caught off guard by this behavior. I have experienced harassment many times, as I’m sure other women have, when I have a lot of other important things going on in my life. My mind is on those important issues I have to deal with. I’m not going around thinking about how to respond to the next harassing creep every minute of the day. As a result, I don’t always respond the way I want to, because I am caught off guard and don’t always think quickly on my feet. If I’m tired after a long day at work, the last thing I feel like thinking about or dealing with is a harasser when I’m shopping for my dinner. I want to be left alone.
I resent men who force themselves on me without for one moment considering that I, a woman, am a human being who could have just lost her job or house (given this economy), have an important deadline to meet, or have a sick child or friend to take care of. Harassing men have an incredible level of narcissism manifested in a clear lack of empathy for women and probably other men as well.
Golden Silence says
He’s not fit to walk amongst humanity, period!
Exactly. I do find that I speak up to harassers a good deal of the time, nine times out of ten, but that one time out of ten I get caught off-guard, flustered, taken aback, etc. It’s usually because I go through periods where I don’t get harassed and I let my guard down, then out of the blue some harasser says/does something stupid and BAM! The harassment cycle repeats…