Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

Archives for June 2010

A man on a bike grabbed my ass

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Tonight while walking home in my quiet well-lit neighborhood, a man on a bike grabbed my ass. As it was a narrow sidewalk and he had to squeeze past me, it took a minute to realize what had happened. He grabbed my ass! There was no doubt it had been intentional — he turned around and grinned at me. Twice. The entire time I was so surprised that all I could do was glare.

Even now I’m not sure what I should have done. Yelled at him? Made a scene? Ignored him?

– anonymous

Location: Washington, DC

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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“Even as a man, I cringe at street harassment”

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Even as a man, I cringe at street harassment. I can’t help but hear kissing noises or whoops or vocalized honks. There was one time years ago when I heard some street harassment going on, but my response was to turn to the harassers and make flirtatious gestures at them as if they were calling out to me. I think that was enough to silence them, at least for a moment.

– Mr. MRS

Location: New York, NY

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“What if he makes good on that threat?”

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I was catching a bus home one night and some guy came on after me when I’d already sat down. I don’t like talking to total strangers (I have a bit of a social anxiety, especially around men) so I just smiled and nodded when he said, “Hi.” I kept smiling and nodding when he said, “How are you?” This was some stereotypical wankster, short and scrawny with rat-like features. They’re a dime a dozen in Cambridge (Ontario, Canada). Pissed that I wouldn’t answer him, he stalked off to sit at the back of the bus, muttering (as loud as possible, as contradictory as that sounds), “Bitch,” and then “All I wanted to do was stick my cock up your ass.”

So naturally was like BITCH NO YOU DI’IN’T, so I went and told the bus driver, who called security, and got him kicked off the bus and banned. A nice older gentleman at the front of the bus (where the bus driver had moved me for safety reasons) was kind enough to back me up.

I had a couple panic attacks afterward (one which resulted in a breakdown), but then I was fine. People kept saying, “I’m so proud of you!” but to me, it was just logic. All I could think was, “What if he makes good on that threat? What if he gets off at my stop and follows me home and tries to rape me?” I’d rather be “brave” and get his sorry ass kicked off the bus and be a “whiny bitch” and kick up a fuss about it than risk being assaulted.

– M. Hammond

Location: 55 St. Andrews bus, Ainslie Street Terminal – Cambridge, Ontario, Canada

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Weekly Round Up: June 20, 2010

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Story Submissions Recap:

I accept street harassment submissions from anywhere in the world. Share your story!

In the News:

Events:

Resource of the Week:

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Thanks, Dad

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Since the day I told my dad that the topic of my master’s thesis would be gender-based street harassment, he has been incredibly supportive of my work. He read and gave feedback on numerous versions of my thesis. Then he and my mom encouraged me to write a book. When I got sidetracked at times on other street harassment projects, he kept pushing me to focus on the goal of getting a book published. When I got a book contract and wrote the book, my dad read numerous drafts of chapters and gave feedback as I wrote and revised. In the days leading up to my due date, he hand wrote edits on nearly every single page of my manuscript, then scanned and emailed them back to me. The morning my manuscript was due, he was still editing, scanning, and sending me pages to help make it as strong as possible. He continues to offer encouragement as I blog and write articles about street harassment. In fact, earlier this evening, I sent out the draft of a new article to a few people for feedback. My dad was the first one to respond.

I am incredibly lucky to have two parents who encourage me, push me, and are proud of me. Given the subject matter of the work I do, I feel particularly lucky to have such a great male ally in my dad – many men do not care or understand why street harassment upsets women, but he gets it and wants to see the problem end.

So thanks, dad, for everything you’ve done and continue to do to support my street harassment work. Happy Father’s Day!

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