Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

Archives for June 2010

“I’m a feminist activist, so whoever just touched my arse just made a really stupid mistake.”

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So, today I had a really good day. First, I see that the Welsh government are taking street harassment seriously in the fantastic “One Step Too Far” campaign. Then, I listen to Holly’s interview with Susan Bartelstone and felt even better: wow – people are starting to take this issue seriously! Then, having gone for a quick Friday afternoon drink with a colleague, I become depressed.

It’s my turn to get a drink, so I go to the bar to get a drink for me, my colleague and my boyfriend, who are enjoying the summer evening outside. Waiting at the bar, a guy in front of me who isn’t waiting to be served very politely moves aside for me to reach the bar. It becomes obvious that he is one of a group of four men hanging about the bar – he seems fine, and at least seems to possess some manners – but as I’m stood waiting to be served I feel a hand on my backside. I’m actually so shocked that I don’t move, I pretend I didn’t notice – because how the **** did that just happen?! Please tell me you didn’t just touch me because I’m a woman on my own at a bar?

Waiting for drinks, I can hear the guys behind me laughing about what they just did, whilst I formulate the ideal response. I try to be cool, and when I’ve paid and am heading away from the bar, I say “I’m a feminist activist, so whoever just touched my arse just made a really stupid mistake.”

I have NEVER seen such horrified expressions as I did on these guys – complete dismay and horror that a women had called them out on their actions. I walked away casually back to my boyfriend and friend. Ten minutes later, the politer of the bunch who had moved from the bar for me comes to ‘apologise’ for his idiotic friends. Reasonably nice guy, but why are you apologising for your friends? I reiterated that I don’t appreciate that kind of attention and it is unacceptable; he again apologised. Fair enough – maybe this affected these guys and made them think that this isn’t a good way to behave, but then: why the hell am I telling grown men how to behave?! Can you not see that this isn’t normal?

My one regret: I didn’t make a bigger scene and take a snap for hollaback. I wish I could think quicker.

– Jen

Location: The Friend at Hand pub, Bloomsbury, London

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Thank you for showing respect

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I have many street harassment stories….it happens to me almost every single day. But I really want to share a positive experience I had yesterday!

I was on the sidewalk about 10 last night, walking home from the metro station. I noticed a man crossing the street and walking in my general direction. He caught up to me as I turned the corner, but he made a point to walk in the middle of the street rather than staying close to me on the sidewalk. After about a block, he arrived at his car and nodded to me as I passed.

I kept walking, realizing that this man (a) recognized that a woman walking alone at night might reasonably feel unsafe if an unknown man were to walk too close, and (b) adjusted his path out of respect for my comfort.

A minute later, he drove by, and pausing across the street from me, he said through the open window, “Ma’am, I just wanna make sure you’re OK.”

Floored, I responded that I was fine and almost home. I told him that as a woman walking alone at night, I had noticed and appreciated his effort to give me ample space. Then, he said he’d stay where he was and watch to make sure I got home OK, if I didn’t mind. As I approached my building, I turned and nodded my thanks. He responded with a polite beep of his horn and drove off.

Sir, I know you’ll probably never see this, but just in case you do, thank you. Thank you for being aware of how your presence might affect a woman walking alone on a dark city street. Thank you for making me feel safe by keeping an obvious and comfortable physical distance. And thank you for going above and beyond to ensure that no other stranger on the street would have an opportunity to steal my sense of safety, for at least that one night.

Most days, I hear things like “Hey baby,” “What’s a sexy little thing like you doing out here all by yourself?” and “you better stop bending over before somebody gets excited.” I can’t describe how refreshing it was to be treated with such consideration and respect by a stranger.

– Noel

Location: Congress Heights neighborhood, Washington, DC

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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“His words leave a greasy residue, and we’re supposed to take it as praise”

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Via google alerts, I came across this fantastic song about street harassment, written & performed by Emily Swashbuckle.

WordPress won’t let me embed the YouTube video. But here are the lyrics:

it’s mid-may; first heat wave
hits me like a brick
grab a friend and go to the lake and
have a quick picnic

sheet goes down, shoes come off
our skirts show our knees
man walks up to ask us
“where are your bikinis?”

after he leaves, we scratch at our arms to scrub off his gaze
his words leave a greasy residue, and we’re supposed to take it as praise

later in that same month
i’m walking down the block
i smile at each stranger
and then one cuts me off.

puts his hand on my arm
says, “you’re why boys like heat—
girls start to look so good
walkin’ down the street.”

i smile and try to walk by
he steps in my path
eyes wandering from my face
down to my exposed calves

i’m thankful it’s daylight
i finally dodge his grasp
look back just one time and—
he’s staring at my ass.

when i first get home i feel stupid for getting so scared
but then i get angry at the fact that that asshole dared
to touch me.

baby, it’s just a compliment!
baby, don’t be scared, i just think you’re PERFECT.
until you reject me— then you’re a frigid dyke
baby, i’ve got free speech, it’s my RIGHT.

WELL, NO.
you don’t have the inalienable right to get up in my face
you don’t have the inalienable right to violate my space
you don’t have the inalienable right to say “hey, nice legs, baby, let’s party.”

fuck
no.

Yeah!

Want to view or read the lyrics to more anti-street harassment songs? Visit the resources section of my website.

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Sick of sleezy comments

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I am so sick and tired of hearing sleezy comments and remarks from men. I ride the subway to work and school on a daily basis and at least once per trip I have to hear some annoying comment about my looks or body parts from some guy. I am very petite with a young looking face and often get mistaken for someone in their late teens. All that I am asking for is a pleasant ride to and from school/work without having to endure any sickening looks and comments.

– anonymous

Location: New York City, NY

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Weekly Round Up: June 13, 2010

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Weekly Round Up is back by popular demand.

Story Submissions Recap:

I accept street harassment submissions from anywhere in the world. Share your story!

In the News:

Announcements:

Resource of the Week:

The Welsh Government’s excellent video “One Step Too Far” and the companion website.

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