Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

Archives for June 2010

“High school idiots”

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I was driving home from work, and I usually have to drive through Salem, Massachusetts, and past the high school there. It was nice out, so I had my window open and was in a line of traffic. As I sat there, two teenage boys, both black, walked by and began to holler, not at me, but a very pretty Hispanic girl across the street.

One boy was far more vocal than his friend, and yelled things like, “Hey! Stop walking so fast!” The girl, thankfully, knew better to than to listen, because she was really booking it. I wanted to yell at the boy and tell him to leave her alone, but I was worried that he might attack me or go after her after I’d driven off.

The fact that this type of behavior is considered okay for men of all ages is sick, and I personally blame music, television and movies for reinforcing sexual harassing behaviors. Teenage boys do like to think about girls, yes, but they should not be harassing their classmates on the street. I’m personally thinking about complaining directly to Salem Hugh School and demand they take action somehow.

If there are any high school girls that use this site, I think it’s important that you all know that no male, classmate or otherwise, has the right to treat you like shit, and that you have every right to say something about it and get support from your school.

– J.

Location: Salem, Massachusetts

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Sex segregated bus lines

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Many times when I talk about my dissatisfaction with women-only public transportation initiatives in countries like Japan, Brazil, India, and Mexico, created as a response to sexual harassment on public transportation, I cite the fact that it doesn’t stop men from harassing women at the bus or subway stop. Consequently, I believe that governments should focus on why sexual harassment is occurring and address those issues, otherwise people will still find places and ways to harass each other, regardless of segregated transportation.

Now in Central Jakarta, India, instead of addressing why harassment is occurring, the government is segregating people by creating two lines for women and men to stand in when they wait for a bus! This is the first time I’ve heard about a city initiating segregation in this way and for the purpose of helping to minimize crime and sexual harassment.

Interestingly, their bus system is not one where there is sex segregation on board. So men can still harass women on the bus. Men passing by the bus stop can easily harass women in the line and probably men in the male line can harass across the way to the women in line too, if they wanted. So I don’t see this as helping curb the issue of harassment.

What do you think?

Woman stands at the women-only bus line. Image via Jakarta Post
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“Every time this happens, I feel sick with fear”

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Saturday night I went out to dinner with some friends because of a birthday. I left early (had to catch my bus on 10:45 P.M.) since I had to go home. I never look forward to waiting for my bus/train to arrive. That’s why I always wear my headphones and listen to music. Not too loudly though, so I could still hear what people say around me. I shouldn’t have to do this, but I’m paranoid because of all the times I’ve been harassed while listening to music with the result that those men get angry because I’m not listening to them!

Then a group of men appeared and started to yell at me: “Hey girl! GIRL!” trying to gain my attention. I ignored them, but one of them seated himself next to me on the same bench I was sitting on and another one tried to catch my eye.

I was so relieved when my bus arrived. My relieve was crushed when I saw them getting up. They left me alone, but I was scared the whole ride that they would get off at the same stop as me and keep bothering me. Luckily they didn’t.

Every time this happens, I feel sick with fear. I’m so sick and tired of these privileged men harassing us. That they don’t have to feel that kind of fear. That most of them don’t (want to) understand. That I don’t get treated with respect and get laughed at when I say I want to get treated with respect.

This needs to stop!

– Daphné

Location: Gent, Belgium

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“Can you please leave me alone?”

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Photo taken by blog contributor

I got on the Blue Line at King Street Metro Station, and the car I got on was nearly empty. I sat near a window and just wanted to get lost in space.

Out of the blue, I hear, “Hi! Hi!” It gets louder, and I turn my head and see a guy is hovering over the empty aisle seat next to me.

“Man, I gotta tell you look beautiful,” he says. He continues to hover. His unwanted and unsolicited attention makes me uncomfortable.

“Can you please leave me alone?” I request. “I just want to enjoy the ride. I don’t feel like talking to anyone.” It’s true, I had no intention of talking to anyone. My face and body were turned towards the window. Did this guy not get it?

He said, “Okay” and sat down at a seat a row down and across the way from me, but not without mocking me with, “She said she wants to be left alone to enjoy the ride…HA!”

I managed to sneak a shot of him (though he turned my way before my camera saved the photo, which was a close call), and I changed train cars at Reagan Airport. That interaction just made me uncomfortable. Why don’t these men understand that not every woman wants to be bothered by them?

– Tired of Being Harassed

Location: Blue Line towards Largo Town Center, Northern Virginia

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Tennesseans throw things at women and young girls (Beware!)

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The absolute worst area for harassment that I’ve ever lived in is Hendersonville, Tennessee. In this supposedly “safe”, “down-home”, “good-old-boys” environment, I experienced the terror of having to dodge objects thrown at me from cars and incidents of indecent exposure in addition to the ubiquitous catcalls.

As we all know, it can be intimidating to someone walking, or on a bicycle, to be honked at or run down by a driver who “just wants to talk” or offers a “ride.” But on several occasions, either the driver of the car or his passenger actually threw things at me while I was walking or biking alongside the road. They threw stuff like:

– Bottles, cans, trash, fast-food bags, cups full of soda.
– Lit firecrackers (Southern boys seem especially fond of their cherry bombs and M-80s).
– And in one terrifying incident in a suburban neighborhood off Indian Lake Road, I had a broken homemade skateboard (seriously, what was this guy doing with that thing in his car?!?!) thrown at me, along with a tide of insults. This one made contact. It hurt like crazy but I managed to make it home. When I told my parents, they advised me to not go into that area (and it was NOT a bad neighborhood!), and my mother acted like I’d done something to deserve it.

I also had a horse at one point and my friends and I liked to ride on less-traveled roads. You might think people would take heed to be more careful, but it had the opposite effect. Men would drive by slowly, honking their horns and yelling, trying to scare the animals – a dangerous activity since a startled horse is unpredictable. Fortunately mine wasn’t too easily spooked by that kind of stuff.

I was 14 years old.

And that’s only in addition to having to hear every 3 minutes or so how nice your ass is or how fat it is, depending on the personal taste of whomever’s yelling at you. You get this from about age 9 on up till you’re 80 or so, I reckon (Nope, I’m not there yet.) And calling the police? Don’t make me laugh. Officers hate responding to this kind of crap because it’s not like anybody ACTUALLY grabbed you and threw you in his trunk or anything, so what should THEY do about it?

Women are not exempt. A neighbor boy my age also experienced this kind of threatening behavior, although I’m sure they didn’t tell him he had nice tits… he just had stuff thrown at him. And for those of you who might think it’s a “compliment”, things like that are often said to women in the same kind of threatening tone that you’d typically reserve for your arch enemy.

I retaliated by packing a bag and getting OUT of that hellhole literally the SECOND I turned 18 and could do so legally, and I’ve never gone back. I got myself a scholarship, got an education, got a good job and make it a point to only date men who treat other people- not just women but ALL human beings- with respect.

To this day I’ll never set foot in Hendersonville, Tennessee. Those people think they’re better than everyone else. Maybe I haven’t learned my lesson, but I still walk to work… what can I say, I like the exercise. 🙂

– anonymous

Location: Hendersonville, TN

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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