A block from home, I’m alone on a corner, reading a book, waiting for the light to change and some douche tries to strike up a conversation with me. He asks me what I’m doing. It’s an awkward question, and he’s obviously leering at me and trying to get my attention. I answer as shortly and politely as possible and go back to reading. Nothing in my speech or body language says “Talk to me!” but none the less he continues to try.
“I was just asking cause you looked so pretty reading.”
Did I ask for your opinion? Does my business casual outfit make me look like a hooker or something? Seriously dude, WTF?
All I could think to say was “Sorry” as I turned towards home, but in retrospect I wish I’d told him to fuck off.
Feeling flustered, uncomfortable, and slightly violated, I finally got home, locked all the doors, and made sure my roommates were home. I felt gross for the rest of the day. I just wanted to finish my goddamn book, ass hole.
– anonymous
Location: Redmond, WA
Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.
Golden Silence says
You do not have to be polite to these men! You never asked for their attention and you never wanted it. If you don’t feel like giving some dork the time of day, you don’t have to.
Margaret says
It always astounds me how these creeps think we should just drop what we’re doing and give them the time of day. It’s so idiotic.
LS says
It was really none of his business what you were doing. It’s time these men were told that. We don’t owe these jerks any explanations. It seems many women are socialized to be polite even when others are being rude and intrusive toward us. I include myself in that and I’m learning I don’t have to be “nice” when I’m being treated disrespectfully. These men don’t deserve polite, they deserve to know what we really think of their intrusions in a straight, direct, to the point manner. I’m learning that if I want to be left alone, it’s perfectly alright to say, “Leave me alone.”
TBONE says
over-react much. I wasn’t there and don’t know all the details but it sounds like you got a nice compliment.
Golden Silence says
TBONE, the point is that this woman was trying to read a book and not be bothered. We women get unwanted attention all the time when we just want to be left alone.
TBONE says
Women are attractive because they make themselves attractive. (long hair, makeup, dresses, skirts, high heels, manicures, pedicures, etc) Male attention is part of life if you’re an attractive woman. Either deal with it or don’t be attractive.
administrator says
@Tbone. women are harassed even if they do not have long hair, wear makeup, skirts, heels etc. we are harassed for being female in patriarchal societies. read more stories on this blog and that will be clear. Even if someone is drop dead gorgeous by conventional standards, they have a right to go about their day without men harassing them. telling women to stop being attractive is really dumb. why don’t you instead suggest to men to stop harassing women and to treat them w/respect if they want to talk to them.
Golden Silence says
TBONE, the admin is a lot nicer than I can ever be to some thickheaded chump like you.
Either put yourself in our shoes or go to a site that welcomes your idiotic misogyny.
Anonymous says
administrator, Respect? The man said “you look so pretty reading” what is disrespectful about that. Strange compliment? maybe. Disrespectful? NO!
TBONE says
Golden Shower, put myself in your shoes? I’m a straight, good looking, well built male. The other day I was going out and realized I didn’t have many clean clothes. I found a tight Vneck tshirt and a pair of old sweat pants. I live in one of the gayest cities in the country, Boston. Looked at myself in the mirror and because I DON’T WANT strange gay attention, opted to take off my clean tight outfit and put on a dirty pair of baggy jeans and a regular fitting tshirt. Anyone who knows me knows I hate wearing dirty clothes. But I had to deal. Not afraid of getting raped, but still don’t want some dude sitting to close to me on the train rubbing his leg against mine or following me into a public men’s room or even trying to follow me home( which has happened before). The point is I too should be able to wear what I want where ever I want. But there are consequences for all actions. Right or wrong, that’s life.
Golden Silence says
Admin, forgive me here, but TBONE is working my last nerve.
You’re an asshole, rude and you’re trolling. You refuse to try to understand what’s going on here and you’re wasting space with your nasty-ass comments and belligerent behavior. What do you have to gain from invading this site with your rude commentary?! I think you should be banned from posting here ever again.
The woman who submitted this story felt uncomfortable, and she had every right to be. Women don’t like being treated like objects. She never asked for that guy’s opinion of her nor did she want it. But since you’re a numbskull who only wants to hear what you want to hear, I doubt you’d understand that.
I think the only way for you to truly understand it is to share a prison cell with a big, burly male who makes advances at and who, even worse, rapes male inmates. It’s a graphic picture, but probably the only way anyone can get through to an asshole like you. Harassment is physical and mental terrorism to women, and the above scenario is probably the only way a “man” (using the term loosely since I don’t count you as a real man) like you can get it.
TBONE, you’re a flat-out misogynist, troll, and a creep. Had this been my own blog, you would’ve been banned a long time ago.
Seriously, go away. Spread your hate elsewhere.