Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

Archives for October 2010

“He grabbed my head and tried to whisper ‘You’re beautiful’ in my ear”

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I was taking public transportation and an obviously drunk guy came on with two swollen eyes and dried blood stains by one eye. Not trying to make this a race thing but i’m a black female and with some black men I know I cant even make eye contact or it will start. Not that all men harass and not that black men don’t harass others because they do but I have noticed they are worse with us because they think no one is going to intervene and they can get away with it.

Anyways so, I tried not to make any eye contact cause I just knew he was gonna say something to me. He came right to my seat, grabbed my head and tried to whisper “You’re beautiful” in my ear. Then he sat behind me. I told him there was no need to ever touch me and I don’t like people touching me and he said he did that cause he thought I had head phones on.

I go back to ignoring him and then he tells me he got beat up in the war just now and that’s why his eyes are swollen (lmao!). He keeps talking more nonsense and I tell him I have a boyfriend i’m gonna marry just to keep him off my back but of course he said he didn’t care and he starts pulling out his credit card saying he’ll take me wherever I want to go. He keeps trying to touch my shoulder and i’m like STOP TOUCHING ME but he wont and then he starts saying i’m not even his type and i’m a mess really loud and i’m like “oh I’M the mess”.

Meanwhile the driver is doing NOTHING to stop it. There was a girl that looked shocked and I could tell she wanted to say something but didn’t want to get involved so she wouldn’t get harassed as well. Finally he got off at the stop but I was totally humiliated and violated.

I’m 29 years old and have been dealing with it since I was about 15. Some men just see women as second class citizens and they have a right to say and do anything to us and get away with it. I have tried everything to get them to stop and nothing works.

– Anonymous

Location: Southern Illinois, near St. Louis, MO

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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My new hero: Lisa Robinson

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As much as I talk, write, and think about street harassment, I admit that I can still get stunned into silence by harassers. I really admire all the women and male allies who’ve shared stories on my blog about times they’ve confronted harassers. And I also really admire Lisa Robinson.

Robinson, her husband, and their five-year-old son were on the train, returning home from a day trip to Cardiff (Wales) where they had celebrated the son’s birthday. There were about 30 drunk Cardiff football (soccer) fans on the train with them (when I studied abroad in England, I had that experience in Manchester and did my best to become invisible).

The men were harassing a female passenger on a train platform. When Robinson told them to stop, they began yelling seixst and obscene comments at her.

Robinson pulled the red handle to stop the train. She informed the conductor about the harassment and asked that he call the police. The conductor did nothing and started the train back up.

Already her actions are impressive – standing up for other women, standing up for herself and reporting the harassers. But this is where her actions go above and beyond.

Undeterred by the train conductor’s indifference, Robinson and her family got off the train at their stop and again asked that something be done about the rowdy men. The train conductor refused again.

She decided to do something more. She stood in the tracks! She would not move until the police were called.

From the BBC:

Ms Robinson said: “I slithered down off the platform on to the track.

“I wanted to protect both my husband and my child and I wanted this behaviour to stop.

“Some of the fans got off the train and took pictures of me with mobile phones and continued to abuse me.

“This is my community, this is my village. We’re not going to be bullied and certainly for women and families, they should be able to travel on the train in peace and quiet and go about their business without being bullied like that.”

The police were eventually called, and the service was terminated.

Wayne David, Labour MP for Caerphilly, called the “apparent inactivity” of Arriva Trains Wales and British Transport Police “unacceptable” and said he would be in touch with them about the incident.

“No member of the public should be subject to abuse of this kind and it must never happen again,” he added.

British Transport Police said: “BTP officers attended Ystrad Mynach railway station after a report that a woman had been verbally abused by a group of football fans after she challenged their behaviour on board the train.

“BTP does not tolerate anti-social behaviour of any nature on the railway network and will do everything it can to identify offenders and bring them to justice.”

Peter Northcott, head of stations at Arriva Trains Wales, said: “We take all complaints very seriously and I personally contacted Mr and Mrs Robinson on the day of this incident.

“A full investigation is taking place with the British Transport Police.”

It’s sad that the the harassers and the train conductor would not stop or do anything when she asked until she risked her life on the tracks and stopped the train. But she got their attention and got them to do something. And that is how change happens.

Thank you Lisa Robinson!

 

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“It is not o.k. to follow women or to not take no for an answer”

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I was recently almost at my apartment building in NYC when a man who was hanging outside the deli at the corner said, “Hey, you’re really gorgeous.”

I ignored him of course and walked the half a block to my front door when I realized he was right behind me. He cornered me at my front door and said, “I’m sorry to follow you but I want to know if you want to continue this conversation.”

I said, “No, I can’t” which was stupid, I guess, because he thought “I can’t” meant, “I want to but I’m busy.”

And he said, “You chose your words carefully see you said I can’t…” I then got very forceful and told him I did not want to talk to him and he needed to leave me alone and walk away.

He became very belligerent and started ranting about how I was “retarded” and didn’t know how things work in this neighborhood because I must be from “Ohio or Seattle” or something.

I’m not, but I didn’t tell him I just kept telling him to leave and stop harassing me. I had my key in the first lock of the door but I was afraid that if I tried to go into the building he would try to push in behind me. I figured I was probably safer on the street where there were a lot of people walking around. He finally backed up enough for me to go inside. He was ranting and cursing and obviously very drunk as he was not only a complete jerk but making absolutely no sense at all.

I was pretty shaken up and extremely angry when I got inside. It is not o.k. to follow women or to not take no for an answer.

– Anonymous

Location: East Village, New York City

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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What is your experience?

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Stop Street Harassment ally Dr. Kimberly Fairchild is conducting another study relevant to street harassment.  She needs your help! Please take her anonymous survey and share your experiences.

“I am conducting a psychological experiment involving judging other people’s attributes and perspective taking. Our research suggests that even from limited information people can make accurate judgments about the dominant traits, emotional reactions, and behaviors of other
people.  The survey takes about 20 minutes to complete.  If you are
interested in participating, follow the link below.”
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/personality12 

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Quick thinking teen helps nab a subway masturbator

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Jiang's cell phone. Image via NY Post

Here’s a victory, pick-me-up kind of street harassment story.

Seventeen-year-old Annie Jiang was standing on an N train in New York when she realized a man was masturbating against her back. She took a cell phone picture of him and when she got to high school, told the dean. The dean called the police.

The next day she spotted him again at the Eighth Avenue stop. This time a detective was with her and arrested him. Daniel Barricella, 59, of Brooklyn, was charged with public lewdness, sex abuse and harassment.

Via the NY Post:

“Jiang said she was glad she can ride the train again in peace.

‘I was scared,’ she said. ‘He didn’t look creepy; he just looked like a normal man. I reported it to the police to keep him off the streets, so he can’t do it to anybody else. The technology really makes a difference.’

Jiang, the dean, and the police force are super stars!! Woohoo! Take that harasser.

As Jiang noted, it can be very scary when you’re being harassed, and if you’re too afraid or feel unsafe to do something at the time, reporting is a great option. As this story shows, it can make a difference.

(Thanks for the tip, Violet)

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