Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

Archives for November 2010

12th Annual Transgender Day of Remembrance

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It is an outrage that street harassment, assault and murder occur regularly against transgender individuals. Today is Transgender Day of Remembrance, when we remember and mourn those who people have murdered simply for being themselves. This day also serves to raise public awareness about these on-going crimes.

Visit the website for the Transgender Day of Remembrance for statistics and information about events happening around the world.

It’s so important for us to treat everyone we encounter in public spaces with respect and that we be good bystanders when we see harassment or assault occurring. We never know when it might save a life.

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“It made ME feel like the one that was wrong”

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I have been harassed only twice in my life, but when it did happen, I felt shame, disgust and horror. I didn’t understand why I thought it was my fault, and I still don’t.

What happened was I went to help an old teacher out at a prom where he was taking pictures. He was a respectful elderly man, and I was happy to do it for him. I decided to dress up in a nice dress and I felt really good about myself. And then when I got there, his ‘associate’, an older man (but not as old as him) pinched my butt. Everything froze and I felt so dirty. I stayed the whole night helping my old professor, but I could see the other guy trying to catch my eye all night long. It was so disgusting and I felt really betrayed even though I knew that my professor wouldn’t have condoned that type of behavior.

And when I got home, I didn’t know how to tell my mom. When I did she was so unmoved and I didn’t understand how she couldn’t see what was wrong but she thought that I should take it as a compliment. WTFFF? Even worse, she told my dad that an elderly man had complimented me, and I couldn’t even talk to him about it. I know how small a thing it is to be groped, but it hurt so much because it made ME feel like the one that was wrong.

– Mag

Location: Poughkeepsie, New York

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Stopping harassers

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Was walking to a friend’s house in the early hours, heard someone shouting from a car at a woman walking in the opposite direction. The car was a Nissan Micra with three or four men in it. I watched as they stopped in the road and then began to slowly reverse back down the road with the window rolled down, obviously intending to pull level with the woman and follow her.

I started walking over towards the car, when the driver spotted me approaching he drove away. I caught up to the woman and asked if she was okay, if she was near home etc, had a short conversation with her, she seemed okay. This happens to my friends a lot, I’m very used to hearing about it, was glad to be there to do something about this time.

– p p bloxham

Location: Camden Town, London

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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A man who does not “get” street harassment and one who does

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I saw the above image a few times via twitter and Facebook and thought I’d comment. A coworker just told me it’s making the rounds via the Privilege Denying Dude to make fun of guys who believe this. Unfortunately there are many who do and I’ve heard this very comment before. Men who have this belief do not understand (or care about) issues like:

  • how quickly street harassment can turn nasty, demeaning, and violent;
  • how frequently many of us experience it and thus how annoying it is;
  • how triggering and frightening it can be for survivors of rape or of a bad harassment incident (like groping or stalking);
  • how it reinforces a societal message that women are supposed to be pretty objects for men and that it’s men’s rights to remind them of that whenever they want;
  • how it assumes all women are heterosexual or bisexual and are interested in men’s attention;
  • how it ignores the underlying racial dynamics that might be at play; and
  • how presumptuous and disrespectful it is to talk to a complete stranger in a familiar, sexual way. There is a reason most men never experience this. They are respected enough to be left the hell alone.

Here’s one of the many guys who does get gender-based street harassment. Thank you, Barry Deutsch!

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“Daaaaamn. Is that your lady?”

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I no longer live in Tallahassee, FL, but the street harassment I experienced there has stuck in my memory. I lived along a main street, where I would walk to go to the grocery store or pharmacy, and every time without fail, some entitled douche would feel the need to honk or yell at me, even from across six lanes of traffic.

One particularly offensive incident involved me walking along that street late at night with my then-boyfriend. I was wearing a tank top and pajama pants, no makeup–not exactly dressed to please. Two guys in a car slowed down to look at my ass. They then proceeded to address my ex, and ignore me.

“Daaaaamn. Is that your lady?”

His lady. Because I’m only important in reference to him, right? Because I’m not actually present right now, right?

Right.

Before my ex could reply, I stuck my middle finger up. The sped off with a “Fine! Fuck you, bitch!”

The nerve of me.

– Melissa D.

Location: W. Tennessee Street, Tallahassee, FL

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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