• About Us
    • What Is Street Harassment?
    • Why Stopping Street Harassment Matters
    • Meet the Team
      • Board of Directors
      • Past Board Members
    • In The Media
  • Our Work
    • National Street Harassment Hotline
    • International Anti-Street Harassment Week
    • Blog Correspondents
      • Past SSH Correspondents
    • Safe Public Spaces Mentoring Program
    • Publications
    • National Studies
    • Campaigns against Companies
    • Washington, D.C. Activism
  • Our Books
  • Donate
  • Store

Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Tumblr
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Home
  • Blog
    • Harassment Stories
    • Blog Correspondents
    • Street Respect Stories
  • Help & Advice
    • National Street Harassment Hotline
    • Dealing With Harassers
      • Assertive Responses
      • Reporting Harassers
      • Bystander Responses
      • Creative Responses
    • What to Do Before or After Harassment
    • Street Harassment and the Law
  • Resources
    • Definitions
    • Statistics
    • Articles & Books
    • Anti-Harassment Groups & Campaigns
    • Male Allies
      • Educating Boys & Men
      • How to Talk to Women
      • Bystander Tips
    • Video Clips
    • Images & Flyers
  • Take Community Action
  • Contact

A male ally in New Delhi, India, speaks out – part 1

February 23, 2011 By Contributor

[Editor’s Note: This is part 1 in in a 3 part series. You can read parts 2 and 3 later this week]

These are real life stories. Narrated as it happened.

I was at the super market getting late for work and needed to pick up some milk. This is a super market that I frequent often and I know most of the people who work there by their first names and they know me well too.

This new girl had joined recently, like a month back and wasn’t very sure how to handle customers, especially male customers. She was on duty at the check out counter, and I could see a couple of rough looking guys getting their groceries checked out by her. One of the guys stood to the left side and started to hand out the stuff from the cart and the other stood to the other side with a huge sack in his hand.

The girl started to bill the stuff and pass them on to the other guy to put them in the sack. In a couple minutes, while I was looking at them trying to figure out what their intentions were, the other guy then lowered the sack to the floor and opened the top of it and requested the girl to pop the stuff in it. The girl threw in the vegetables but for other groceries she obviously had to bend  from the waist a bit. The guy holding the sack lowered the mouth of the sack a little bit more and very happily ogled inside her shirt each time she bent down.

Needless to say, this incident angered me. There were other people behind me in line who were getting irritated because the girl was doing a slow job, or so they said and the other counters were still closed.

The guy passing out the stuff from the cart bent over to pick up something from the very back of the cart and that was when I saw the ID hanging from his neck. He was a Delhi Police officer. They both were Police officers. (New Delhi, Capital city, India)

That was when I did what I do best. I kept my milk on the counter and moved behind the counter to help her out everything in the sack.

The two cops were angered by this, and humiliated too. They managed to figure out I guessed what they were up to and that must have embarrassed them somehow, or so I’d like to think.

After that, they moved out real quick and the girl still had no idea what those two had been up to.

Another guy who worked there figured it out and murmured me a thanks, and I sure hope he did coach his new comer colleague how to handle such customers from now on.

I remember another incident very vividly. I was standing in line at a fast food pick up place. There was a young teen girl standing in line ahead of me and some guys standing a little away towards the right. Apparently those guys had already ordered and were waiting for their food to be packed. The girl in front of me placed her order and stood to the side. I ordered and I moved back too. The girl was wearing a tee and jeans and a jacket, with no skin visible. The guys standing a bit away were constantly staring at her, and they must have been in their 40’s at least. Pretty soon, the girl became aware of their stares and became a little uncomfortable too. I didn’t know what to do or how to react, so I just moved from where I was standing and stood between the guys and the teen girl. The teen girl was petite and the guys ogling at her couldn’t see her anymore standing besides me so they soon lost interest.

The guys got their food and left, the girl got her food and left. She did not look back or anything, but I’m sure she realized for a moment that there are some good folks in this planet. Very few, it seems to me though.

[Come back tomorrow to read Part 2]

– Tbg

@TbgDgc

Share

Filed Under: male perspective, Stories Tagged With: India, male allies, male ally, New Delhi, sexual harassment, street harassment

Comments

  1. alan says

    February 26, 2011 at 7:36 am

    Thanks for this article TBG. It is a good model for others of us males to be aware of a simple way to help stop harassment without violent confrontation!

  2. desigheeandcoffee says

    February 27, 2011 at 9:25 am

    Thanks Alan.

Trackbacks

  1. A male ally in New Delhi, India, speaks out – part 2 « Stop Street Harassment! says:
    February 24, 2011 at 1:08 pm

    […] Note: This is part 2 in in a 3 part series. Here is part 1 and you can read part 3 […]

Share Your Story

Share your street harassment story for the blog. Donate Now

From the Blog

  • #MeToo 2024 Study Released Today
  • Join International Anti-Street Harassment Week 2022
  • Giving Tuesday – Fund the Hotline
  • Thank You – International Anti-Street Harassment Week 2021
  • Share Your Story – Safecity and Catcalls Collaboration

Buy the Book

Search

Archives

  • September 2024
  • March 2022
  • November 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • January 2021
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • September 2010
  • August 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2010
  • April 2010
  • March 2010
  • February 2010
  • January 2010
  • December 2009
  • November 2009
  • October 2009
  • September 2009
  • August 2009
  • July 2009
  • June 2009
  • May 2009
  • April 2009
  • March 2009
  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008
  • May 2008

Comment Policy

SSH will not publish any comment that is offensive or hateful and does not add to a thoughtful discussion of street harassment. Racism, homophobia, transphobia, disabalism, classism, and sexism will not be tolerated. Disclaimer: SSH may use any stories submitted to the blog in future scholarly publications on street harassment.
  • Contact
  • Events
  • Join Us
  • Donate
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Tumblr
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Copyright © 2025 Stop Street Harassment · Website Design by Sarah Marie Lacy