I have been harassed an infinite amount of times. The most painful, however, are the occasions where instead of “complimenting” my appearance, the men criticize it.
Just a few days ago on my campus, I was crossing at a crosswalk. A car that was idling rather far down the street suddenly sped up and tried to hit me; as I looked over my shoulder, I saw two male students leaning forward and smiling as they nearly hit me.
I was shaken, but tried to not lose my cool. I continued walking as the car sped away. After a couple minutes, I reached the next crosswalk and heard a car pull up and stop: it was the same men. They had seen that I was headed for the next crosswalk and had waited for me. I motioned for them to pass but they gestured for me to go. I was furious at this point, but noticed that other cars had began to line up behind them and didn’t want to make others wait. I began to cross the street and the car charged me again, yelling out their window, “We don’t stop for ugly bitches!” and holding down their horn, making a spectacle.
I dodged the car and it sped off. As I walked away, I was more distraught to realize that the people surrounding me (almost entirely male engineering students working on projects in the park), were laughing uncontrollably.
I called to police once I got home, and the male police officer took down my report incredulously. I called back later to see if anything had been found on the men (I had a description of the car) and was essentially laughed off.
I haven’t left the house in days, I feel too ugly to be in public… or, or that matter, to live. I don’t have a car so I need to walk places and it feels like a punishment. I just want a mask to wear on my face so no one can judge it as ugly and try to run me over. I feel no protection from others, neither the police nor my peers; no one will stand up for ugly girls.
– Anonymous
Location: On Campus
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Sue says
I think that’s called attempted murder.
Pi. says
I believe it is too. This used to happen to my Mum when she worked in a cafe in an area that was for a good 5 years taken over by male gangs (now flushed out by persistent police) so you are not alone. Unfortunately my mother never came up with a solution.
Stay strong, you moving on from this event (and all others) is you winning, not them.
Sally Miller says
Hey, stay strong. You didn’t deserve that. God created you, He didn’t create you for those kind of people. Think if you were “pretty” for them, they would marry you and the police would probably never find your body because that sounds like the kind of men you are describing. They invented ugly.
As for the police support, I went to them for almost getting run off the road yesterday in my car, had a witness, and the female officer said “The police have to see it before they make any reports.” Okay, doesn’t make sense, and she yelled it at me for no reason, so police are not going to help. Just remember what I said about God and that you did not deserve this.
Megan says
Assholes like that usually criticize you because they know you are out of their league. They also want to scare the shit out of you. You could be a super model and that wouldn’t stop them from behaving that way. Pathetic, insecure losers do this to knock you down and try to make themselves feel better. I had a guy follow me around a bar criticizing my boobs, threatening me just because I walked away from him. It had nothing to do with me, and everything to do with his ego. Don’t let these losers bring you down.
Beckie Weinheimer says
This is so so horrible. I am so sorry. Your story breaks my heart. And I agree with all that has been said. It’s all about them. Not you. I hate it that such thoughtless males can hurt you so much. I’m sending good thoughts your way. I wish i could go give them a piece of my mind!!!!
Clarice says
I had tears in my eyes when I read this. This is horrible. You certainly did NOT deserve this. There are such nasty people in the world, it beats me. I just don’t understand it. Please don’t allow these pathetic lowlives get you down. You are so much better than them xx
Nigerian Sista says
I just wanted to state first, you did the right thing to call the police…that was the right move. Second off, please don’t let those insecure males make you feel that way…like you’re ugly. Any person who CHOOSES to act that malicious to another human being who did them no wrong is TREMEDNOUSLY insecure. a SECURE and happy person would never be abusive to another person. They just won’t do it. They are unhappy and they have to try to attack someone else so they don’t have to deal with their own misery. Trust me on this one. Every woman is beautiful and special (I am a firm believer in this). And trust me, those guys, life will pay them back soon (karma is a amazing). So don’t worry about that…it WILL happen. Now back to you (you are what’s important here) please I know it’s easier said that done, but don’t let their evil ways penetrate you’re sense of worth.
Jen says
Just echoing what everyone else has said: these guys will tell anyone they’re ugly/beautiful/too fat/too thin/weird/a bitch/a dyke etc., etc. simply in order to feel ‘big’. They are idiots; they behaved disgracefully, not to mention incredibly dangerously, and they’re not worth your time thinking about them. I know it’s difficult to go back out and be strong when something like that happens, but get out there, do something you love doing, and if anyone has anything to say about how you look or what you’re doing, remember all the responses here 🙂 x
Jen says
Also, if this happened on campus, I’d recommend reporting it to the principal or some other appropriate figure. They are responsible for the safety of their students on the grounds after all, and you may find that a women’s officer or someone similar will be more understanding and take the issue seriously.
Golden Silence says
Hard as it is, do NOT give worth to the harassers’ words. I place no value on what harassers say to me, even when they give those so-called compliments. Harassers can go from complimenting to insulting in a matter of seconds, and I know my worth enough to not let their venomous words hurt me.
I am so sorry this happened to you and I am shocked beyond words that the police didn’t take it seriously. You are NOT ugly! You are a brave woman who is filled with beauty and you are worthy of respect. These worthless bum harassers can’t see that.
EJ says
What kind of a$$hole would do a thing like this?? Disgusting. Nobody deserves to be treated that way.
miss-e says
I am so happy that more of us are coming forward with our experiences of this kind of harassment. It proves that it really doesn’t matter what a woman is wearing, what she looks like, etc… whether men find us “beautiful” or “ugly”, they still feel the need to harass us!
I have had men give me a “compliment” and when I mocked/ignored them, they would counter with “well, you’re just an ugly lesbian anyway!” But I’ve also had men immediately confront me with comments about my ugliness and how disgusting I look. Even the most confident, strong person eventually gets worn down by these experiences. You are not alone, Anonymous!
E says
My heart ached when I read this – you are not ugly, you did not deserve to be treated in that way by those men, you must not let them win.
I am standing right beside you, whereever you are. When you next leave the house, I promise you carry my thoughts and love with you. You are not alone!
Concealed Weapon says
I agree with the first comment. What happened was far worse than harassment. It was attempted murder, or assault with a deadly weapon at the very least. Something is seriously wrong with the police force if they don’t take attempted murder seriously.