Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“This was the first time I felt in a position where I could do something”

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I’m a man, I have never been harassed so I don’t know how degrading it feels but I do know it is awful to watch. I have been brought up by a very feminist Mother and a Father who treated me to stand up for others. I saw a young girl in a club who was being chatted up by a guy who was obviously drunk and much older by at least ten years but it progresses to being rather sexually aggressive as she turned him down. He started to grope and pinch as she walked away pulling her back and so on. It was embarrassing to watch and made me feel sick with anger, this was the first time I felt in a position where I could do something, I walked over and said, ‘Thats enough.’

He seemed startled but instantly his attention switched away from the girl, which was fortunate. Unfortunately his attention turned to me. I am not big or strong and I received a good beating. But I have never felt better about myself and would do it again if I saw it.

– C W-M

Location: Southend Night Club.

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Comments

  4. Kelly says

    Thank you I’m proud of you, you did the right thing don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I hope came off relatively unscathed, I think learning a few practical self defense moves (ways to deflect attacks instead of fighting) would come in handy. Unfortunately physical intervention is the only things that seems effective.

  5. Marty Langelan says

    Dear C W-M —

    Thank you so much for speaking up. Bystander intervention is one of the most effective ways to stop harassment. What you witnessed was very serious, and I think you saved that young girl from being raped and beaten.

    It’s true that the situation can escalate when men confront other men, especially with drunken harassers.

    You can sometimes reduce the risk of escalation by intervening from a slight distance, or by getting some allies to intervene with you (other bystanders, or the harasser’s own buddies).

    There was a 100% chance that the harasser would be violently aggressive to that young girl — he was already doing so. When you spoke up and took the risk that he might turn his aggression on you, you made a huge difference.

    What you did was so decent and honorable. Thank you.

    Marty Langelan

  6. Clarice says

    Well done for standing up for this girl! You were brave and approached the man in the right manner. Sadly, he did not react in a civil manner and you got hurt as a result. Im sorry that happened to you. Please be careful if you are going to step in. Be sure to have a mate with you for back up and be aware of your body language when you confront the harasser. If it you come across as rather ‘intimidating’, most likely the harasser would see you as a threat. I doubt you did, but im just advising you.

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