I have been harassed yet again this week.
Yesterday I was walking down the street with my boyfriends mother when three boys on bikes said, “Look how fat that girl is” along with a shout of “Fatty”! I was wearing a sun dress because it was a very hot day. I felt good in this dress, now I don’t even want to wear it. That cruel remark has destroyed any confidence I had wearing it.
When I got to my destination, I was upset and other people noticed. I told them about the boys and they told me not to take any notice of them. But thats so easy for them to say. I was upset for the rest of the night.
Today I was walking past a house where there were men at work. Despite walking on the other side of the road, I heard laughter and they were all leering at me. I could not be bothered to confront them, all I could do was give them the middle finger. I’ve just had enough.
At the moment, I feel like giving up. I feel completely powerless and unable to defend myself.
I am going to join a slimming club to try to lose weight because Im sick of being judged simply because Im curvy and not a twig. Maybe then people will start accepting me instead of critisising me.
– Clarice
Location: North Cornelly, Wales, UK
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Golden Silence says
Changing yourself is not going to change the behavior of these men and boys. They’ll just find something else to pick on. If you do want to lose weight do it for yourself, not for the validation of these sorry excuses for human beings.
Beckie says
I agree with golden silence. You’ve already done one great thing. You’ve shared your story. Talking about this issue is the first thing to change things. I bet your sun-dress and you look fabulous!
Jen says
The problem is not yours – it’s these pathetic men who are so insecure that they need to somehow ‘validate’ themselves by bothering women in the street. Stay strong 🙂
Kadiki says
Unfortunately those sorts of men will always find something rude to say. They would probably have heckled a thin woman if they felt like it. Because OBVIOUSLY women WANT men to comment on their bodies. Don’t feel bad about yourself just because those men are assholes.
Concealed Weapon says
If you want to lose weight because of personal reasons, go ahead and do it. But please, do not change yourself just so these assholes will accept you. If you change yourself because of them, you are allowing them to control you, which is exactly what they are trying to do. Besides, even if you change yourself, they’ll just find something else.
Thinks2010 says
As others have said, don’t change your weight in response to the jeers of those boys. The important thing to realize is that there comments say more about them than they do about you. I’m a healthy, curvy, active woman who has always been over the ideal weight shown on weight charts despite eating healthily and exercising. As a result, I have heard similar comments a half a dozen times in my life (I’m now in my mid 50’s). The first couple of times I hear such comments, I felt embarrassed. Fortunately, my parents instilled a strong sense of self-esteem in me so I was able to get over that sense of embarrassment quickly. When it happened to me again, I had an epiphany. I realized that the comment said more about the guys who made it than it said about me. The next time it happened, the comment was made by a young man in a group of three teens who were walking near me. I turned to him and said, I know I am fat, everyone can see that I am fat; but it wasn’t until you opened your mouth that people could see that you are rude and insensitive. That comment stopped the three of them in their tracks. The boy who had made the comment turned beet red and then he apologized. It may not always be the wise thing to say that to a rude person depending on the person and your surroundings. My point in telling the story is that you know in your heart who you are and if you feel you were comfortable with yourself before someone made that kind of comment, you have no need to change or to take to heart what they said. They are the ones with the problem, not you.
Jen says
Awesome response to those guys, Thinks2010!
Clarice says
Hi girls, thank you for all your responses 🙂 I appreciate your support and kindness.
I have decided to join that slimming club because I’ve always wanted to lose some weight to be honest. Im a tall girl so I don’t need to lose a lot, just a couple of stone. I used to be quite skinny but suddenly started piling on the pounds when I was about 15.
I have lovely friends and a boyfriend who loves me the way I am and if it wasn’t for harassment I probably would be happy with myself. These sad people who go out of their way to critise another person proves that they can’t be happy either.
But once I lose weight (cross fingers) than I can think assholes to them!