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Archives for April 2011

“Why do women have to go through this kind of harassment?”

April 3, 2011 By Contributor

I was traveling around France and stopped in a place outside Lyon to visit a friend. As I was waiting for a bus on the side of a road a car stopped and got near me as if to ask directions. I was new to the area, but I thought I could somehow help the driver. When I leaned near the window he was masturbating himself openly and he obviously wanted me to see it. I moved back disgusted and angry at my own kindness. I was disgusted and shocked and I told my local friend about it.

This was about 15 years ago and obviously I haven’t forgotten. At the time I didn’t think too much about it afterward, but I now think, why do women have to go through this kind of harassment? I don’t think men ever think about these things, this would never happen to them, how could they understand? It’s time to change this.

– Angeles

Location: Lyon, France

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: public masturbation, street harassment

“We felt absolutely sick and pretty much ran away feeling like vomitting”

April 3, 2011 By Contributor

As a girl I find it disgusting when guys leer or make rude sexual references around me (or behind my back, as I found out recently as well from a friend of my sisters who heard a guy make a sexual comment about me as I left the room). I don’t like clubbing, I’m cautious about wearing fairly revealing clothes (sometimes just a simple dress of shorts) as men of ‘all’ ages stare and comment. I’ve faced children as young as 8 making comments at me.

The thing that makes me really sick though is middle aged (40+) males making comments about younger girls (younger than 15).

About six years ago, my sister and I were in town shopping (me being about 13 her being almost 15), having walked around for ages and my sister in high heels she joked with me to give her a piggyback ride to where we were getting collected because her feet were hurting. A man in his 40’s, who was walking in front of us turned to my sister, looked at her and said ‘he’d give her a piggyback any day’ and something along the lines of a ‘good thum****’.

To this day my sister and I are still disgusted at the nerve of this man, especially to say it to young girls. We felt absolutely sick and pretty much ran away feeling like vomiting. We never did anything about it, there was nothing we could possibly do, but I’ve been effected since that day and I feel degraded and repulsed every time a guy whistles/stares/leers/comments about me or any woman.

– H + C

Location: Reading Town Centre, United Kingdom

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: lewd comments, reading town centre, sexual harassment, street harassment

Harassers intimidate confident woman

April 3, 2011 By Contributor

I am a confident 30-year-old woman, but I’m always scared and nervous walking past builders-it’s intimidating…and they always say or shout something. I don’t wear revealing clothes and i dread summer as I know it gets worse!!

– Anonymous

Location: Everywhere

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: builders, intimidate, street harassment

“Something tells me I was probably not the first & won’t be the last.”

April 2, 2011 By Contributor

I am a 21 year old student, living in the UK. In my short life, I have experienced harassment countless times & whilst they vary in severity, they all contribute to ultimately making me feel unsafe & disrespected.

Amongst them all, there are primarily two instances that remain with me to this day. When I was just 14, I walked with my mum to our parked car. As it was the height of the summer, I was wearing a short skirt without leggings or tights. There was a gentle breeze that blew at my skirt & occasionally blew it up. As I struggled to keep it down whilst I walked, a middle-aged man passed & said directly to my mother & me: “Don’t hold it down, you’re ruining my fun.” We were both appalled &, as with most of these cases, so paralysed with shock that we remained silent when we should have spoken up.

Sadly, this continued &, to my shame, never have I once challenged comments or actions from strangers on the street. However, single-handedly my biggest regret in life was not reporting an incident of molestation on a plane journey.

I was 19, traveling from India to Malaysia & was very tired. Although this should be irrelevant, it’s still needs mentioning, but I had entirely conformed to the Indian culture with particular regards to dress & for this flight, I wore a long skirt and long sleeved top. No flesh was on show from the neck down, besides hands & feet. Several hours into the flight, I was woken by someone touching my lower right leg & thigh. However, because of my tired state & general confusion, I did not compute that it was the stranger next to me. This continued for another 3 times, yet whenever I was woken, the person next to me pretended to be asleep so I thought nothing more of it. By the 4th time, I moved my legs further away, hunched over more & protected them with more clothing. However, this did not deter him & as he could no longer access my legs, he began to grope my breasts whilst I slept. Naturally, I woke up, yet to avoid another situation of him feigning sleep, I grabbed his hand that was on my chest & caught him in the act. I confronted him, asked him what the hell he thought he was doing, at which point he grabbed his blanket & covered himself, including his face, with it.

I woke up my traveling companion & he ordered that I switch places with him which I gladly obliged. He then confronted the man himself, telling him that he owed me an apology. The man in question did not respond. My traveling buddy asked if I wanted to call for a flight attendant but at that moment in time, I simply said, “No, I just want to get as far away from him as possible & forget about it.”

To this day, it is my biggest regret that I did not report him for his harassment. I sincerely hope that he does not do it to anyone else, yet something tells me I was probably not the first & won’t be the last.

I do not wish to view men as the enemy as this is an extremely unhealthy attitude to adopt. I will say this however, given the frequency of unwanted verbal & physical attention that many, many women endure on a daily or weekly basis, these men certainly do not create a culture or environment in which I can respect them.

– L.N.

Location: India and United Kingdom

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

Stifling definition of masculinity

April 2, 2011 By Contributor

I TOTALLY agree that no women should suffer harassment in the street, or anywhere else. While in no way condoning this behaviour, as man, it is surprising how much social pressure a male can come under from males and females to “behave” in a “masculine” way.

I was a male nurse for years, pretty much did the caring for my daughters and had on many occasions comments about my masculinity from males and females. Taking my daughters to play groups and I was pretty much ignored or “you’re” having the baby today! NO I was caring for the children equally.

I feel that education is the key to both sexes from an early age. AND action taken against predictors more vigorously.

– Anonymous

Location: Worcestershire, United Kingdom

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

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