“That’s the third time he’s driven by and done that.”

I’m in Tampa, Florida, for the national NOW conference. This evening, I went for a five mile run near the USF campus. Within the first two miles, I was harassed twice by men going by in their cars.

I also witnessed a man in a car harass a young woman at a bus stop located on the edge of campus. As I approached her, I paused and asked her if he had just harassed her (based on her upset expression, I gathered that he had) and she said, “Yeah, I think so. That’s the third time he’s driven by and done that.”

I offered her a few words of comfort and said if he came by again, she could always tell him to stop harassing her. But she didn’t look too sure about that idea. Probably in part because besides the two of us there were no pedestrians as far as you could see in either direction, just cars, so she may not have felt safe responding. I understand that. I also should have mentioned to her that she could write down his license plate number and try reporting him, but I forgot to in the spur-of-the-moment-ness of the encounter.

A minute after I left her, a bus passed me and when I turned around, I saw it pull over and pick her up, so at least that man couldn’t harass her for a fourth time.

Despite all that I know about responding to street harassers, I tend to be the person who freezes when it happens, including when I see it happen to someone else, so I’m happy that didn’t freeze and I stopped when I saw it happen. Even though I didn’t have a chance to intervene or prevent the harassment, I hope I helped the young woman feel less alone and less upset by talking with her. And honestly, since I faced two of my own harassers, it also made me feel less alone to talk with her. (Very sad, that two out of the two women on the street got harassed, huh?)

If you see someone whose been harassed, even if you can’t do anything to stop or prevent it, consider asking if they are okay and that may make a difference and help them feel less alone.

To help you be a good bystander, here are bystander tips and success stories. And also, consider donating to the Hollaback I’ve Got Your Back bystander campaign.

– Holly

Location: North 50th Street, by USF, Tampa, Florida

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