Archives for July 2011

I’m writing to tell you about an incident which happened last week. I was working from home and needed to [run some errands] like pick up a parcel and pop into the supermarket and buy a few things for dinner. I decided to beat the lunchtime ‘rush’ and leave at 11 a.m. Anyway, I rounded the corner from my road into the main thoroughfare and there was a man walking by the bus stop; now I’m not normally a nervous or jumpy pedestrian but something about this bloke made me feel uneasy.

I walked by, trying to keep my expression as neutral as possible, but once he’d passed me he said loudly, “Make sure you don’t take your eye out with one of those!” gesturing towards my breasts. I shouted, “What did you mean?” and swore at him, but he turned onto my road and carried on regardless. What this man forgot was that he was wearing a reflective tabard with his company name printed on the back; I made a mental note of this.

I continued my journey feeling angry and upset – why had this happened? Yes, I have a large chest and men often stare, whatever I’m wearing. Quite frankly though, this doesn’t give people the divine right to comment, nobody in this day and age should be doing this. Women get a raw deal. I noted the recent ‘slut walk’ which took place in the centre of London which was women basically saying ‘I can wear what I like and stuff you.’

When I returned home I googled it, as you can imagine it’s a fairly common occurance and there are websites devoted to it: http://www.stopstreetharassment.com/ plus campaigns to raise awareness.

As for me, well I contacted the culprit’s company, and they were quick to respond and I must admit, I was impressed with the way they dealt with it. I answered all of the detailed questions. If the person isn’t caught, at least the company will highlight the need for their staff to behave in an appropriate manner. Whatever happens, I’ll keep on fighting and I’ll let you know how the situation develops.

– Jo

Location: Bexleyheath, Kent, DA7

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem.
Find suggestions for what YOU can do about this human rights issue.

This morning I left my house to walk the three blocks to my bus stop. It is a particularly hot day in DC, and I am wearing a long red sundress. I sometimes hesitate to wear this dress because it tends to generate attention from men, (which in and of itself is a frustrating statement), but I feel pretty in it and it’s perfect for a hot summer day, so I put it on this morning.

I was a mere 1.5 blocks away from the house before a van turned the corner and immediately slowed as it approached me. Then, of course, the driver rolled down his window and began to try to get my attention as he coasted slowly along side me. When I stopped to look at him and tune in, he was smiling and saying, “Oh, wow, beautiful, mmm, wow……..”

I looked straight at him, gave him a dirty look, and said, “Please stop now– Women don’t like that!” He just kept smiling, and almost laughing, threw his hands up as if to indicate, “I’m sorry about that, but I can’t help it!” Then he chuckled to himself, and coasted slowly away until I’d disappeared around the corner and he couldn’t see me anymore.

When the bus dropped me at my metro station (New Carrollton), I was standing on the platform feeling annoyed and wanting to be left alone. But because I’ve developed an almost animal-like awareness of predators at this point, I could immediately sense one man in the crowd who was extra aware of me. When the train arrived, I made sure to walk down the platform to ensure that I got on a car that was not the one closest to where he was standing.

Not surprisingly, however, once I was seated on a train car far from where he’d been standing, he happened to walk onto that car as well. –And then, or course, he sat down on the seats directly across from me and began staring at me. I ignored him, and then I heard the inevitable, “How you doin’?”

I didn’t even have the energy to say anything or look at him. I simply took a deep breath and ignored his question until I realized that I didn’t want to be silently leered at for the entire ride, so I got off at the next stop and entered another train car.

–I realize that both these incidents probably sound pretty innocuous to anyone reading this. And they are certainly mild compared to others I’ve experienced in this town. But it all stems from the same source, and it all jabs at the same nerve in me, and I’m to the point now where even the most mild of harassment just has me wanting to slap someone.

I JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE.

I don’t want to be focused on.

It is flattering to know that people may think I’m attractive, but it’s simply menacing to have strange men express that to me. I don’t know why they can’t just have an admiring thought and contain it within their own heads. WHAT is the joy of making a woman uncomfortable!?

I should be able to wear a flattering red dress and commute to work in the morning without men feeling the need to communicate how my appearance in that dress makes them feel. I shouldn’t have to exit a train and find a new place to sit just to escape being eye-raped by a stranger in the morning because of how my appearance in that dress makes him feel. It may seem mild, but it infringes upon my basic rights and I’m sick of it. We are constantly faced with the choice between having to change our lifestyle (i.e. exiting the train, wearing less flattering clothing, changing commute routes, etc.) or accepting harassment. And it’s just not right.

It is exhausting. I almost sometimes feel like these little/mild incidents are more exhausting than the bigger ones because they are so frequent/constant that they leave me perpetually on guard, waiting to deflect the next one.

I never truly relax because of it.

– B.

Location: New Carrollton, MD

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem.
Find suggestions for what YOU can do about this human rights issue.

Personal Update on my previous blog entry

I submitted a horrific street harassment incident that occurred with me several months ago on this blog. I was harassed by an off duty plainclothes officer in a grocery store located Largo, MD, who pulled a firearm on me and my brother unannouced when my brother questioned questioned his hostility towards me.

This officer works for the DC Forensics Scienced department in Washington, D.C. and his name is Tirik Davis , badge #3296. I would have liked to pursue taking legal action against the DC police department for allowing this individual to not face repercussions for his actions but the statute of limitation has ran out for that option.

I am now looking into suing Tirik Davis for intentional infliction of emotional distress because my whole lifestyle has changed since he threatened my life by pulling a firearm on me. I believe this was done on purpose to make me think that we were going to be injured. That is a crime and I don’t know how sucessful I will be in suing him but I am going to go through all the procedures that are available to me.

And to think that the DC police department would sweep an incident like this under the rug when we could have been seriously injured is beyond me. They did not blink an eye or see any error in a male who took an oath as a police officer to come into a store (when he’s not working) , harass a woman he doesn’t know and then follow up by pulling a gun on her and her 16-year old brother? And then tell some story anout he HE felt threatened?

No woman or person should enter a store to grocery shop and then exit by running for their life believing that thay are going to be murdered. It should never happen.

– Anonymous

Location: Largo, MD

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem.
Find suggestions for what YOU can do about this human rights issue.