Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

Archives for September 2011

Graveyard maintenance workers harass 15-year-old in New Zealand

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I was about 15 (I probably looked WAY younger because I’m quite small) and waiting for my mum to pick me up near a graveyard in a rural area.

A bunch of guys in their 20’s-30’s showed up to do maintenance on the gravesides. I decided to leave and as I did they began yelling sexual things at me. I kept walking but as I did one of them tried to follow me down the road. I was TERRIFIED because this was a van full of guys and I was in the middle of nowhere. I was angry scared and in tears. For all they knew I could have been visiting the grave site of a loved one.

– Anonymous

Location: Walliceville Hill, Upper Hutt, Wellington New Zealand

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Men of DC: Stop Harassing Women

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Cross-posted with permission from The 42.

Men of DC: get it together. Street harassment is really out of control here. It happens everyday all day and every night all night. Women endure catcalls, unwanted touching, name calling, assault and worse as a matter of fact. Come on, we’re better than that!

I witness street harassment A LOT. Not just in Mount Pleasant or Columbia Heights; all over DC, in all neighborhoods. Harassment truly knows no race, age, class or scene bounds. I’ve seen women in mini-dresses harassed on U Street at midnight by guys in cars and women in baggy sweatpants harassed on the way to class at 8 in the morning by other students. Harassment is more about power than circumstance. Not that circumstance is meaningless, but some men will harass women (and girls) at any opportunity because they think they’re entitled. Everyone’s definition is different, but in my opinion flirting and “complementing” are DOA excuses. Harassment is not flirting.

I’ve been trying something new, speaking up when I see it. Once, on a bus, it got a little iffy + too close for comfort. But since I’ve been cursed out before by people I actually care about, it’s no big deal getting the same treatment from some rando dude on the 54 bus. Of course this can get tricky because the offenders can get really defensive or loud & aggressive, but really, they have to be called out by other guys for this to work. Here are some strategies for bystanders I probably should have looked up before hand. I like those ideas, but part of me thinks they need to be told why you are intervening, if indeed that’s the track you decide to walk on.

Often the harassment I see is not on the street; it happens in the club: on the dance floor. Club harassment is arguably worse. You see it all the time in almost every club; over-aggressive dudes taking one too many liberties on the dance floor. It can get pretty gross.

Dancing “up on” a woman you don’t know from behind (or the front for that matter) is wrong. Some people like to grind (royalty paid to eric nies) at the club, but it should be a mutually agreed upon consensual grind. No, in this case it is not better to have to beg for forgiveness. Ask permission. Before.

Also, news flash: many people like to go to dance clubs to dance with themselves. Not you or me.

Even though no physical contact is involved, leering can be another issue. No one likes to be stared at. And less than no one likes to be sized up by drunk guy at close range. People do go clubbing to see and be seen. But not club-stalked. There is a difference. Along the same lines, if you’re trying to talk to a woman, maybe dance with her, just ask. If she says no, PEACE OUT. As in move on dot org. Leave her alone.

What I saw a lot of last weekend –which mostly inspired this post– was unnecessary touching. Crowded dance floor, you’re trying to get across to the bar, and yeah, you have to clear a path for yourself. Squeezing past flailing, dancing bodies isn’t easy. But there is absolutely no need to caress anyone’s backside on the way to the bathroom, especially a perfect stranger. It’s just gross. And it’s assault. Bouncers are often not around or lacking in enthusiasm to regulate these activities. (Some clubs do a better job at this than others.)

Look, duding out every now and then is fine. A good bro down can be therapeutic. Go watch the game, ice some other bros, play fantasy football, pre-order the new Call of Duty; whatever. But bros being bros on the dance floor is lame if it involves trying to grind on every other woman in sight because you erroneously think they like it. They don’t like it, I don’t like it, nobody likes it.

This week Stop Street Harassment is asking people to log instances of street harassment, if you see or experience it. And Holla Back DC and it’s contributors have been logging harassment daily for over two years. Be a part of the solution guys. This one is on us.
– Tim.
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bell hooks: The Importance of Male Allies

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bell hooks’ Feminist Theory: From Margin to Center includes a great chapter about the role of men in feminism. hooks argues that feminism needs to become more inclusive by integrating people from its margins (i.e. men and women of color) into the center. It is only this way that feminism will become the mass-based political movement it needs to be to create real change. This has important implications for male allies working in feminism today.

The chapter describes men as potential “comrades in struggle” and gives several reasons for the “exclusion” of men during the Second Wave.  There are two main forces working against male participation: socialized misogyny and the view of all men as anti-women. Mostly she takes aim at the radical feminists for their separatist rhetoric and fallacious thinking that all men are “the enemy.” In an oppressor—oppressed relationship it would seem that this would be somewhat valid. But turning feminism into an exclusive zone had the consequence of removing men from the struggle. It came to be seen as a “women’s issue” and not a broader human rights issue.*

hooks argues that this separatism did not pose a threat to the existing power structure. They don’t have to be afraid of the movement engaging people in the wider culture. If feminism means withdrawing from society through exclusion, the status quo will remain unchanged. This is no way to create meaningful change.

As these news articles mention, having women-only forms of public transportation is just a band-aid approach. It doesn’t address the root of the problem and is based on the following false assumption. Social norms like street harassment are irrevocable and withdrawal is the only solution to a society that cannot be changed. More male allies working to right these wrongs will be a ringing refutation of this assumption.

– Sean Crosbie

This post is part of the weekly blog series by male allies. We need men involved in the work to end the social acceptability of street harassment and to stop the practice, period. If you’d like to contribute to this weekly series, please contact me.

 

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Saudi women can vote! Next: driving and the end of male escorts?

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Image via Peace is the New Black

Did you know that women in Saudi Arabia cannot vote? It’s true, but only for four more years. Yesterday, King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia made a big announcement: in the next election cycle women can run for office and vote. This is major (long overdue) progress and a cause for celebration, even if Saudi women won’t see its fruition until 2015.

What’s caused this change?

Via The New York Times:

“There is the element of the Arab Spring, there is the element of the strength of Saudi social media, and there is the element of Saudi women themselves, who are not silent,” said Hatoon al-Fassi, a history professor and one of the women who organized a campaign demanding the right to vote this spring. “Plus, the fact that the issue of women has turned Saudi Arabia into an international joke is another thing that brought the decision now.”

Related, the Arab Spring combined with social media and women’s determination also inspired about 30 women to organize a protest in June against the no-women drivers law and they drove cars.

Via The Washington Post:

“Maha al-Qahtani, 39, drove for 35 minutes in Riyadh with her husband in the passenger seat. ‘This is my basic right. It should not be a big deal. There is nothing wrong or illegal about driving,’ Qahtani, a state employee, said. ‘The decision to ban driving proves how backward the regime is.'”

You can follow the latest news on women working to secure the right to drive on the Saudi Women Driving blog.

Today, Saudi Princess Ameerah Al-Taweel spoke to Forbes.com about women’s rights and why women should be allowed to drive. She said:

“Other than it being an economical barrier—an average woman spends 30% of her salary on a driver—[it’s] a social barrier. She can’t go some places because of this driver, lack of privacy, sometimes safety issues. It is symbolic outside, where we are being judged as suppressed and as happy with the status quo when we’re not. No matter how many great things we do, we’ll always be judged as a country that suppresses women because we’re the only country in the world where women can’t drive.”

Good for her for speaking out!

As Al-Taweel alludes to, being able to vote or drive are not the only rights women are denied in Saudi Arabia. Saudi women also have very little access to public places, especially compared to most women (and nearly all men) around the world. This is an excerpt from my book on this subject:

“There are countries where the laws, as well as male harassment, keep women from having the same access to public spaces as men. One of the worst countries for women’s equality in public spaces—and equality in general—is Saudi Arabia. Women are forbidden from leaving their local neighborhood without the company of a male family member or guardian. Women need permission from their male family member or guardian to travel by airplane, check into hotels, or rent apartments. Even mosques and some public streets are reserved for men, and women only have limited access to parks, museums, and libraries.

Women in Saudi Arabia are also prohibited from driving cars. Abdel Mohsen Gifari, a researcher for the country’s religious police who has spent much of his career enforcing laws, such as those prohibiting women drivers, told to a Miami Herald reporter in 2009 that one of his daughters wants to drive. “I told her that driving is allowed in Islam,” Gifari said in an interview with a Western reporter. “But it is more of a cultural thing. We already have a lot of problems on the road when it comes to sexual harassment, with guys flirting with girls in the car. If a woman drives, it’s only going to bring more problems.”

Other countries that legally restrict or legally permit the restriction of women’s mobility in public spaces include Kuwait, Yemen, and the United Arab Emirates (UAE).”

Hopefully with the right to vote and run for office secured, Saudi women can use their political voices to chip away at these severe inequalities. And in the meantime, I look forward to hearing about more protests of the driving ban as well activism around the unfair decree that women must have male permission and/or male company to go places. They have my support as they move forward to secure more rights!

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Street Respect: “Good Morning” from garbage truck workers

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One morning last week I took my dogs on a walk before work. We passed a garbage truck at a stop sign and two men stood on the back of the truck. I automatically tensed up, fearing leers or comments, but instead, they said a polite, non-creepy good morning and that I had cute dogs. I smiled and said good morning and thanks. Then we all carried on with our morning.

This is one of my recent stories of “street respect. “Street respect”* is the term for respectful, polite, and consensual interactions that happen between strangers in public spaces. It’s the opposite of “street harassment.”

Staring today, each Monday I will post a “Street Respect” story on the blog to highlight what we want people TO do (as opposed to most posts where we highlight stories of harassment and what people should NOT do). You can submit your story using the form below.

Sadly, street harassment can make us doubt or question sincerely polite and respectful interactions or make us tense up when there is no reason to, as I did. But for me, one of the reasons why we’re working to end street harassment is so that we can enjoy the street respect and not have to worry if it will turn into street harassment. Humans are social and it’s good to want to interact with each other, it’s healthy and makes us happy as long as it’s respectful and consensual!

So I hope the series can reminds us all that there are plenty of good people in the world and give us renewed hope that one day our efforts will mean our days will be filled with street respect, not street harassment.

Share your story below and spread the word that a weekly dose of street respect will be available here each Monday!


[* Term coined by Stop Street Harassment founder Holly Kearl, Sept. 2011]

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