I’m almost 20 now, and I’ve been harassed all of my life.
But before I was 16, either a cute boy was flirting with me, or it was an older man in which I would calmly declare my age followed by “… And I don’t like pedophiles.”
Now I’m older, and the “I’m 15” excuse has lost most of it’s believability. And honestly, that scares me. (I’m SUPER happy I found this site, however!)
I have a boyfriend, and even if I didn’t I’m not interested in hooking up with strangers. I’ve been interrogated, followed, “hit on” by men ranging from an 11 year old on a skateboard to a drunk man old enough to be my grandpa, and harassed helplessly in front of others. While I have MANY stories to share with you, I have one particularly disturbing tale to tell.
I was 14, walking home from my friend’s house in sweats and a long sweater in the afternoon. On the opposite side of the road, two men in their 40’s were stopped at a stop light. The driver cat called at me. I kept on walking. His buddy beside him leaned over and said, “Hey, wanna have sex?”
Shocked and slightly frightened I shouted back, “No thanks!” And kept walking.
The sad thing is that my mom thinks this behavior, when done by men my own age, is “harmless.”
My boyfriend often blames ME for it, although he says, “I know it’s not YOUR fault,” there’s always a BUT added onto that (“but I just get upset that you let it happen,” or sometimes he even says I provoke it).
The extra bad part is when it happens with someone you know or have already started talking to. For example, you meet a man on the bus, and he seems nice. He starts an innocent conversation with you, respectfully. And perhaps you even agree to let him walk with you to your next destination. Then out of nowhere he compliments your looks or asks if you have a boyfriend. Then, that’s when the panic sets in. You don’t want to be rude, but you also don’t want to let him think this is OK.
What do you do?
I still haven’t figured it out.
Sometimes, I just avoid all men, which is it’s own form of sexism. And others I just give them the wrong number then say I need to be somewhere. I know it’s wrong, but what am I supposed to do?
– Stephanie
Location: Vancouver, WA
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