Archives for 2011

I’m on vacation this week. I was at Glacier National Park in northwest Montana over the weekend and now I’m en route to northern Utah to my grandparent’s cabin. Dillon, Montana, is about half way and is where we stayed the night last night. Just as I have every morning of the vacation, I got up and went running this morning.

When I was about a mile into my 7 mile run, trotting down the main road of the small town, I heard whistling. I turned around and saw two (very white) guys in their early twenties walking toward me. They whistled again when they saw I was looking at them. One of them yelled, “Mmm, I’d like to go running with you” in a creepy way.

I yelled, “Hey, don’t harass me!” at them. They were quiet for a few seconds, then one of them said, “Okay, have a nice day,” while the other one chimed in with an “I love you!” as I sprinted around a corner to get away from them.

I get harassed a lot when I go running, but usually it’s by men going by in cars and I rarely have an opportunity to respond. This time I did and it was empowering! Of course, later I thought of better things I could have said, but I’m glad I at least said something to stand up for myself and for women runners everywhere!

– Holly

Location: South Montana Street & East Sebree Street, Dillon, Montana

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I live in a small town and have always enjoyed walking, and as long as I can remember this enjoyment has been dampened by catcalls and harassment regularly. I learned to “ignore it” because that was “just the way some guys are.”

I was taught to stay safe, avoid walking alone in certain neighborhoods and at night. I was taught that to say anything back when construction workers or drivers harassed me would provoke them further, so I accepted these tense moments during otherwise pleasant walks in my hometown.

One of the worst memories I have of street harassment was when I was walking home from a wonderfully calming yoga class, feeling all at peace and grateful for my life and my surroundings, when I started hearing men’s voices yelling and squealing the “p” word for a part of a woman’s anatomy. They yelled it over and over, and I felt degraded and afraid. I walked as fast as I could and called a friend the minute I got home to tell her what had happened. The guys were gone and I was safe but still felt horrible. This made me extremely angry.

A few days ago I was sitting in my parked car in a public parking lot in town, with my window down while I talked on the phone with a friend. Another car pulled up beside me, and a woman got out of the passenger side and walked into the store. The man who had been driving followed, and I kept on talking on the phone. Suddenly the man appeared in my window saying, “I don’t mean to scare you or anything but you are beautiful.” I told him, “That does scare me” as he hurried away. My friend said I should not have let him know I was afraid, but it was just what came out at that moment. I did drive away immediately after, though. We joked about what I should have said. (“I have an STD”??) But in all honesty this is not a laughing matter and men need to know that we do not like it or find it flattering when we are approached by strangers complimenting our appearances.

I put a “PSA” as my facebook status to the men about it. I think some guys feel obligated to do this, or that we need it to help our self esteem. For me it is extremely offensive that a man would think he has a right to say anything about my appearance when I don’t know him, let alone when I’m on the phone alone in my car.

I’m glad this is something that is being taken seriously. Too many guys think they are entitled to harass women or don’t even see what they are doing as harassment. I dream of a day when women can go about their business in the world without having to deal with this stuff. Thank you!

– Anonymous

Location: Pennsylvania

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I used to play music so I’m no stranger to the stupid things that can come out of the mouths of arrested development types. Let’s say I’m desensitized to some extent. But what happened to me about a month ago went completely over the edge and I still smiled.

It’s official. No good deeds go unpunished. I was volunteering at the annual fundraiser for a great music series. Everything went well. After my shift, I went to have some dinner and had a few drinks. Then, a man who had passed by me several times while I was working struck up a conversation.

He struck me as reasonably intelligent, rather attractive and funny as well as quite drunk. Then, he let out a zinger. “You have beautiful breasts,” as he leered at them. Mind you, I wasn’t wearing anything very revealing. I laughed it off and kept up the conversation. Then he told me, “I bet your pussy is very sweet.” I laughed. I should have called security as this point but didn’t want to embarrass him or make a scene. Then, the third zinger, “I bet you get laid all the time.”

It all confused me so much. I ended hanging out with him on and off throughout the night and lost him at the end of the event. The next morning I felt uneasy about the situation so I posted a Missed Connection in Craigslist. Lo and behold, he answered it suspecting he would be getting one. Shock of shocks. I dropped a few big hints about his behavior the night before in the friendliest way possible. We wrote a little back and forth. He didn’t seem to understand what I was getting at.

Then, nothing. A week later, I was annoyed by the situation so I just leveled with him and how his behavior was completely unacceptable. No response. No “I’m so sorry. I was drunk” apology. Nothing. So I did more research on street and public harassment and found that my story was pretty bad. So I sent him a few emails urging him to give money to anti-street harassment groups listing the exact statements he made to me about my chest, genitals and sex life.

Now, he’s on my weekly sexual harassment story email list. He’s probably had all my emails thrown to spam since the beginning so he’s probably not even reading them. But it does make me feel better. I’m hopeful he’s learned that he can’t treat a woman like that ever. We’re not talking a young kid. This man is 42.

There is no excuse for his actions but if he had apologized up front — the minute he realized he may have said some inappropriate things, I would have been cool about it. After all, people get drunk and do things they regret. But real men apologize.

– Anonymous

Location: Prospect Park, Brooklyn, New York

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem.
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