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Archives for 2011

Just when I thought I’d read it all…

July 26, 2011 By HKearl

I read this story in the Washington Post that took place in a mall I used to shop at when I lived in Fairfax during graduate school:

“A woman was slashed and cut in a Fairfax County shopping mall Monday evening in what may be the latest of a series of similar incidents, Fairfax County police said.

The woman, whose wound was not considered life-threatening, was cut about 5:30 p.m. in a store that caters to young women in the Fair Oaks Mall, said police spokeswoman Lucy Caldwell.

The woman was attacked after her attention was drawn to the sound of a package dropped behind her, Caldwell said. The woman felt a sudden pain and turned to see someone walking away.

She had been cut on the buttocks through her jean shorts with a box cutter or razor, Caldwell said.

According to Caldwell, investigators have recently recognized a pattern of about four or five incidents similar to Monday’s that occurred in retail stores in the county in the last six months.

No description of the assailant was available in Monday’s incident, Caldwell said. But in previous incidents, the assailant was described as a Hispanic man about five feet six, in his late 20s to early 30s. Victims have all been in their late teens to early 20s, Caldwell said.”

Some guy with a box cutter is running around women’s stores in Fairfax slashing the backsides of young women?! What the hell?!

[Thanks MRH for the story tip]

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Filed Under: News stories, Stories Tagged With: buttox slasher, fair oaks mall, fairfax

“Please stop now– Women don’t like that!”

July 25, 2011 By Contributor

This morning I left my house to walk the three blocks to my bus stop. It is a particularly hot day in DC, and I am wearing a long red sundress. I sometimes hesitate to wear this dress because it tends to generate attention from men, (which in and of itself is a frustrating statement), but I feel pretty in it and it’s perfect for a hot summer day, so I put it on this morning.

I was a mere 1.5 blocks away from the house before a van turned the corner and immediately slowed as it approached me. Then, of course, the driver rolled down his window and began to try to get my attention as he coasted slowly along side me. When I stopped to look at him and tune in, he was smiling and saying, “Oh, wow, beautiful, mmm, wow……..”

I looked straight at him, gave him a dirty look, and said, “Please stop now– Women don’t like that!” He just kept smiling, and almost laughing, threw his hands up as if to indicate, “I’m sorry about that, but I can’t help it!” Then he chuckled to himself, and coasted slowly away until I’d disappeared around the corner and he couldn’t see me anymore.

When the bus dropped me at my metro station (New Carrollton), I was standing on the platform feeling annoyed and wanting to be left alone. But because I’ve developed an almost animal-like awareness of predators at this point, I could immediately sense one man in the crowd who was extra aware of me. When the train arrived, I made sure to walk down the platform to ensure that I got on a car that was not the one closest to where he was standing.

Not surprisingly, however, once I was seated on a train car far from where he’d been standing, he happened to walk onto that car as well. –And then, or course, he sat down on the seats directly across from me and began staring at me. I ignored him, and then I heard the inevitable, “How you doin’?”

I didn’t even have the energy to say anything or look at him. I simply took a deep breath and ignored his question until I realized that I didn’t want to be silently leered at for the entire ride, so I got off at the next stop and entered another train car.

–I realize that both these incidents probably sound pretty innocuous to anyone reading this. And they are certainly mild compared to others I’ve experienced in this town. But it all stems from the same source, and it all jabs at the same nerve in me, and I’m to the point now where even the most mild of harassment just has me wanting to slap someone.

I JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE.

I don’t want to be focused on.

It is flattering to know that people may think I’m attractive, but it’s simply menacing to have strange men express that to me. I don’t know why they can’t just have an admiring thought and contain it within their own heads. WHAT is the joy of making a woman uncomfortable!?

I should be able to wear a flattering red dress and commute to work in the morning without men feeling the need to communicate how my appearance in that dress makes them feel. I shouldn’t have to exit a train and find a new place to sit just to escape being eye-raped by a stranger in the morning because of how my appearance in that dress makes him feel. It may seem mild, but it infringes upon my basic rights and I’m sick of it. We are constantly faced with the choice between having to change our lifestyle (i.e. exiting the train, wearing less flattering clothing, changing commute routes, etc.) or accepting harassment. And it’s just not right.

It is exhausting. I almost sometimes feel like these little/mild incidents are more exhausting than the bigger ones because they are so frequent/constant that they leave me perpetually on guard, waiting to deflect the next one.

I never truly relax because of it.

– B.

Location: New Carrollton, MD

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for what YOU can do about this human rights issue.

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

Street Harassment Snapshot: July 24, 2011

July 24, 2011 By HKearl

Read stories, news articles, blog posts, and tweets about street harassment from the past week and find relevant announcements and upcoming street harassment events.

Street Harassment Stories:

Share your story! You can read new street harassment stories on the Web from the past week at:

Stop Street Harassment Blog

Hollaback

Hollaback Baltimore

Hollaback Berlin

Hollaback Chicago

Holla Back DC!

Hollaback Delhi

Hollaback Dortmund

Hollaback Israel

Hollaback London

Hollaback Mexico DF

Hollaback NYC

Street Harassment in the News, on the Blogs:

* London Evening Standard, “Don’t hassle me – real men take no for an answer“

* CantonRep.com, “We can reinvest in our communities by using peer pressure for peace“

* MTV Act Blog, “Women Worldwide Mark the Spot: Sexual Harassment Tracked on Virtual Maps“

* Neamhspleachas, “An Issue That Shouldn’t Arise In Polite Society“

* Gender Across Borders, “Interview with Organizer of Afghanistan Anti-Street Harassment March”

* The Korea Times, “Seoul mulls women-only subway carriage“

* Planet Phenomenal, “#Streetharassment never ceases to amaze me…“

*  Percolate Magazine, “Guest Blog: Street Harassment – Why Clothing Doesn’t Matter“

* Means Naught to Us, “When I Say Fuck Off, I Mean It”

* Quarter.Life.Crisis, “here, there, and everywhere – I don’t want to be part of your sandwich.”

* Quarter.Life.Crisis, “I don’t want to be part of your sandwich, part 2. or, if you’re pissed about my blog post…“

* Bravebird Sing, “Community Engagement: Ending Street Harassment and Gender-based Violence“

* Hey Shorty on the Road, “Wooden Shoe Books (Philadelphia, PA)“

Announcements:

New:

* Sunday, July 31, Mend the Gap is doing another flash mob event on the Delhi metro in India to raise awareness about sexual harassment on the metro.

Reminders/On-Going:

* Do you have a stare that can turn #streetharassers to stone? Then participate in the Medusa Gaze Project! http://tinyurl.com/6fhh3tz

* Sign Mend the Gap’s petition to address subway harassment in Delhi, India

* College students, enter the Hollaback essay contest, entries due August 1.

* Are you in Egypt? Use HarassMap to report your street harassers

* Have an iPhone? Download the Hollaback iPhone app that lets you report street harassers

15 Tweets from the Week:

1. ZenMonken I think cars should have a built-in eject feature that launches dudes out through the windshield if they catcall at girls while driving.

2. CycleHermit Just rec’d a really nice smile from a construction worker. So much better than a catcall or an “I’m checkin’ you out” stare.

3. ALongWalkHome Day 8: Girl/Friends watching @GGENYC‘s “Hey, Shorty,” a great film created for girls and by girls to end street harassment.

4. DoniKlein I finally understand why some women cover here. Some men here are such freaking…pigs! #StreetHarassment

5. LGalabi Sexual harassment is not related to social class. We need major street & mind cleaning in #Cairo.

6. Erfan_Afghan @Transitionland “Afghan police don’t regard street harassment as a crime” I have seen them harassing. Don’t expect much from police.

7. HollabackOttawa Painted the town HOLLABACK! today. Spread Hollaback! joy on the poles and bulletin boards of the Market.

8. GangStarrGirl @InADash Re: Holleration. You are so right. It’s not about the woman, it’s about control and entitlement smh.

9. MediocreDave http://youtu.be/WcJaN9n3W6Q Possibly the first ever film to feature pie-in-face. By a woman, to fight off sexual harassment. AWESOME.

10. ohhhsoFaNCY Street harassment is a common experience for women of all social categories, but mostly urban women (woman of color and those who are poor)

11. MayRayintheCity @htownhollaback Got honked and screamed at while taking the mail out. It’s not even 8:30am yet. #streetharassment

12. dopeDNA Street harassment at it’s finest today. I am so disgusted.

13. LaurenWolfeCPJ Common #Afghan proverb: ‘A women’s place is either her husband’s house or her grave.’ t.co/ho7dkug #StreetHarassment

14. ShanananaSaliga Dont give me a catcall, creeper.

15. DereKills excuse me, but do not catcall me from your car with your friend + two children in the backseat. ehh.. #teenmom

 

 

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Filed Under: hollaback, News stories, street harassment, weekly round up

Update on grocery store harassment in Largo, MD

July 23, 2011 By Contributor

Personal Update on my previous blog entry

I submitted a horrific street harassment incident that occurred with me several months ago on this blog. I was harassed by an off duty plainclothes officer in a grocery store located Largo, MD, who pulled a firearm on me and my brother unannouced when my brother questioned questioned his hostility towards me.

This officer works for the DC Forensics Scienced department in Washington, D.C. and his name is Tirik Davis , badge #3296. I would have liked to pursue taking legal action against the DC police department for allowing this individual to not face repercussions for his actions but the statute of limitation has ran out for that option.

I am now looking into suing Tirik Davis for intentional infliction of emotional distress because my whole lifestyle has changed since he threatened my life by pulling a firearm on me. I believe this was done on purpose to make me think that we were going to be injured. That is a crime and I don’t know how sucessful I will be in suing him but I am going to go through all the procedures that are available to me.

And to think that the DC police department would sweep an incident like this under the rug when we could have been seriously injured is beyond me. They did not blink an eye or see any error in a male who took an oath as a police officer to come into a store (when he’s not working) , harass a woman he doesn’t know and then follow up by pulling a gun on her and her 16-year old brother? And then tell some story anout he HE felt threatened?

No woman or person should enter a store to grocery shop and then exit by running for their life believing that thay are going to be murdered. It should never happen.

– Anonymous

Location: Largo, MD

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem.
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for what YOU can do about this human rights issue.

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

Live Tweet of Anti-Street Harassment Event

July 22, 2011 By HKearl

This is cross-posted with permission from Hey Shorty on the Road, written by Mandy Van Deven, co-author of the book Hey, Shorty! A Guide to Combating Sexual Harassment and Violence in Schools and on the Streets. Last evening, it was my honor to co-present with her, Rochelle Keyhan the founder of HollaBackPhilly, and filmmaker and educator Nuala Cabral.

Many moons ago I met Matt Dineen through some mutual friends and our shared work in independent media. A passionate activist and all-around lovely guy, Matt currently works at Wooden Shoe Books as a collective member and event organizer. After hearing about Hey, Shorty!’s release, Matt invited me to Philadelphia to do a reading — and I enthusiastically accepted.

Technically speaking, I’d never actually met filmmaker and educator Nuala Cabral in person until yesterday, but it felt like we were old friends since we’ve been in touch with each other for years via the Internet — again because of shared interests and community-based work with youth to end gender-based violence — and follow each other’s work. Nuala’s short film, Walking Home, has garnered a lot of attention online for its criticism of street harassment. Wanting to share the opportunity with local activists, I invited Nuala to be a part of the Wooden Shoe event and asked if there were other folks in Philly I should reach out to. This is how Hollaback! Philly’s Rochelle Keyhan, a lawyer by trade, came to be added to the list.

Holly Kearl is someone who has shared the stage with me and Girls for Gender Equity on several occasions. From Holly’s book release event at Bluestockings to the first-ever New York City Council Hearing on street harassment to the the National Conference for Women Student Leaders, our work coincides with great frequency — much to my delight. Five smarty pants activists deep, this is how the Wooden Shoe Books event drew over 40 people to talk about violence against girls, women, and LGBTQ folks in public spaces.

If you weren’t able to make it there, you’re in luck!  Hollaback! Philly’s Research Assistant Elizabeth Welsh live tweeted the event from beginning to end. Here’s a taste of what you missed:

Welcome to the live-tweet of our anti street harassment panel! We’ll be getting started in just a minute.
—
Introductions! @mandyvandeven @nualacabral and @hkearl are all here with us.
—
@mandyvandeven is telling us about getting involved with Girls for Gender Equity in Brooklyn: ggenyc.org
—
It quickly became clear to Mandy and to ggenyc.org that sexual harassment is rampant in kids’ lives – and seldom gets talked about.
—
Moving on to @hkearl talking about her street harassment experiences, starting as a 14-year-old runner
—
Many women end up altering the activities they choose to participate in in an effort to avoid street harassment
—
This is why Holly frames it as a quality of life issue. Discovering the term “street harassment” led her to begin speaking out.
—
32% of women choose outfits that will attract less attention on a monthly basis – planning for street harassment before leaving the house!
—
45% of women avoid being out after dark on a monthly basis – what does this mean we’re missing out on? Classes, socializing, campaigning…
—
1 in 5 women have moved to a different neighborhood; 1 in 10 have changed jobs/commute in an effort to avoid street harassment.
—
Street harassment negatively affects men who are not harassers – women are often wary of interacting with them.
—
Holly’s tips for helping to stop street harassment: Share your story, end the silence!
—
Sharing our stories breaks down stereotypes about who gets harassed and helps increase solidarity with other women (and men!).
—
Some women have had success asking harassers to repeat themselves, or repeating harassers’ words back to them, loudly, if in a crowded place
—
Turning it around like this often embarrasses harassers by emphasizing how stupid they sound.
—
If someone is harassing on the job, complaining to the parent company can lead to great results!
—
Bystanders can also reach out to victims, asking “Are you okay?”
—
The Young Women’s Action Team fought neighborhood street harassment by alerting business owners where groups of men were loitering outside.
—
Neighborhood business owners banded together to create respect zones and not tolerate loiterers (who were also bad for business!)
—
More on the Young Women’s Action Network in Chicago: http://t.co/MCl17ly They harnessed the power of data, no matter how informal.
—
You can see more from Holly at her website: stopstreetharassment.org
—
We’re up now! Hollaback! is everywhere! Because, unfortunately, street harassment is everywhere.
—
We encourage you to report street harassment: philly.ihollaback.org Young Women’s Action Network showed what a difference data can make.
—
Don’t forget, all reports submitted to our website are anonymous. Build solidarity between people who want to walk the street unharassed.
—
We’re also working for LGBTQ people, who also unfortunately get harassed.
—
Next up: Local filmmaker and activist @nualacabral. While living in Brooklyn she bumped up against street harassment on a daily basis.
—
Check out Nuala’s Walking Home: vimeo.com/user1897188
—
When Nuala put her film on YouTube, it connected her with a movement that was even more empowering than creating the film.
—
Nuala: “Those moments of being street harassed feel really lonely and disempowering.”
—
Now we are opening up for questions. Please @ us with any questions you’d like to ask!
—
Question about addressing street harassment with school kids. Nuala: Too much victim-blaming from both boys and girls. Also: Responsibility.
—
Nuala: “If we care enough to want change, we need to think about responsibility and what we’re going to do to make change.”
—
International Stop Street Harassment day is the first day of spring – March 20th.
—
This year it will be Anti-Street Harassment Week, by popular demand!
—
Mandy: “Girls for Gender Equity wrote Hey Shorty! as a way for other organizations to see our growth thru failures as well as successes!”
—
GGE grew over 9 years. This is NOT a rule-book, but suggestions for other organizations. http://www.feministpress.org/books/girls-gender-equity-gge/hey-shorty
—
A question now from the Anti-Violence Partnership of Philadelphia avpphila.org
—
We’re saying: Queer and trans folks tend to get harassed not only sexually, but also with words involving more violence.
—
Holly: Street harassment of trans women tends to often be about gender policing, and is threatening to men who think they’re very masculine.
—
Us: Our official stance is not to differentiate between race or class – everyone harasses.
—
Holly: Most harassment is same-race, especially the more severe forms. There needs to be education around what constitutes harassment.
—
Mandy: The emphasis has been put on perception and not intent, and that’s wrong. Intent does matter – it’s racist/classist to say otherwise
—
Mandy has written extensively on street harassment for Bitch Magazine: http://bitchmagazine.org/profile/mandy-van-deven
—
Mandy advocates for street harassment to be addressed on a community level rather than by criminalizing it.
—
Question: A favorite activity of K-2nd graders at the recess program I ran was standing by the fence and yelling at women on the street.
—
Us: A lot of the time it’s about impressing other dudes more than interacting with women.
—
Questioner: It started with the 2nd graders, and after a couple of weeks trickled down to the kindergartners.
—
Mandy: In schools, a big problem is institutional support for addressing these things – Figuring out what the policies are, if they exist.
—
Mandy: We talk about socialization as adults, but it’s process that starts as young people. An 8-year-old boy hollering at women on the street doesn’t even know what he’s looking at.
—
@hkearl: I’ve actually started getting more questions from parents’ of 9- 10-year-olds. Anyone know any good resources?
—
Questioner: This is a cultural problem, and people should be boycotting sexist/misogynist music I’d classify as hate speech.
—
Questioner: I can’t understand how other males aren’t seeing this and don’t have empathy for this situation.
—
Questioner: We need to teach men how to talk to women. I don’t want to hear about how my outfit makes me look sexy.
—
Questioner 2: I think there are a lot of men out there who think that’s the way you talk to a women.
—
Holly: Sexualization from a young age makes this seem normal.
—
There’s a whole section on Holly’s website for and by men: stopstreetharassment.org/male-allies/
—
Nuala: Guys say things like, 2 out of 25 women will respond, so I’ll still yell at the other 23.
—
Nuala: In order to reach men, I’ll also talk to women. We need to be clear about the distinction between a complement and harassment.
—
Nuala: No women wants to get harassed, but some women and girls like getting attention. Those are the girls these guys are trying to reach.
—
A lot of @nualacabral’s work with young girls involves building self-esteem when talking about street harassment.
—
Nuala: For some girls, their body is the only thing they get complemented on. We need to address that.
—
Nuala has gotten a lot of pushback from her video because it shows men of color. As a woman of color, she wanted to break the silence.
—
Nuala: We have to acknowledge that there are some complexities there. You have to be sensitive, but it’s a fine line to be neutral.
—
Nuala: If you look at the media, the bodies of women of color are more consistently exploited.
—
Nuala’s recent blog post about a NYC newsstand that illustrates the problem “All black booties, all white faces.” http://nualacabral.wordpress.com/2011/05/23/the-news-stand/
—
Nuala: “It’s just more acceptable for certain women to be degraded.” Questioner: “It’s not acceptable, it’s normal.” Nuala: “Normalized.”
—
Nuala: “I like that you also brought up the self-esteem of a man, especially for men of color. We know that oppression breeds oppression.”
—
Holly: “For some men it’s about oppression, for others it’s because some men feel so entitled.”
—
Holly: “My research has shown that black women are more likely to be approached as prostitutes. It’s this history of exploitation.”
—
Questioner: Men and women are taught that the only relationships we can have are sexual or more, that we can’t have friendships.
—
Questioner: A lot of men can’t relate to women as another human being, a person with morals and goals and a future.
—
Mandy: For any kind of change to happen, there has to be an education piece on the larger framework of sexual violence in our culture.
—
Mandy: We have this impression in our minds of how violence happens and who the victims are, but it’s completely separate from reality.
—
Us: If you don’t have a smartphone, you can submit via email, or by texting to our email address, or manually uploading on the website.
—
Questioner: Why are women okay on the streets of certain international large cities, but not here?
—
Holly: My theory is that street harassment is less likely in countries with more gender equality.
—
Questioner: I thought in those other countries women are treated with more respect. Us: More, but it’s not perfect.
—
Questioner: There were a number of women in the black revolution movement who acted out strongly against sexual harassers.
—
Questioner: Women are getting hurt because of harassment. Are you aware of any men who have been hurt as a result of being harassers?
—
Mandy: I know there are a lot of women who are in prison for killing domestic abusers and rapists…
—
Mandy: There’s very little documentation of violence in response to street harassment, but that would be interesting.
—
Questioner: I struggle with the polarity between public accountability and shaming. I dreamed of putting up flyers about the same man who was harassing me all the time, but could never go through with it.
—
Questioner: Do you think public shaming has a place in this movement, or is that counterproductive?
—
Us: Even imagining what you would have said and done can be theraputic, even knowing that you never would have done it.
—
Us: Psychologically, it’s really helpful for women to know there are other people thinking about and struggling with the same thing.
—
Holly: People in DC banded together to say “Stop harassing women” to one man who was always in the same place. A lot of these harassers are repeat harassers who always stand in the same place. It’s not very many men.
—
Mandy: The anthology “The Revolution Starts at Home” has a lot of suggestions for community-based steps to take toward accountability without shame http://www.southendpress.org/2010/items/87941
—
Questioner : How does sexual harassment compare with harassment of other groups, like Muslims, especially right now.
—
Mandy: The way all groups are affected creates potential to reach across boundaries, but I don’t think they’re all the same.
—
Mandy: The manifestation, function, and social acceptability greatly vary. It’s dangerous to say that they’re the same.
—
Holly: Women of all backgrounds who took my survey felt harassed because they were female; men mentioned all the other factors first.
—
Questioner: The economic impact on women’s lives is amazing! Imagine if it were something men had to deal with. What areas are under-researched?
—
Holly: That’s why we need to capture that data, because then we have some idea of what we can do.
—
And it’s a wrap! Many thanks to @mandyvandeven @nualacabral @hkearl and of course to YOU for coming along with us!

Check out the remaining dates of the Hey, Shorty! tour here.

Thanks @HollaBackPhilly & thanks Elizabeth for the amazing and thorough livetweet of the event!

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Filed Under: Events, hollaback, street harassment Tagged With: anti-street harassment, book store, hey..shorty, hollaback, Mandy Van Deven, Nuala Cabral, street harassment, wooden shoe

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