Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming
This happened years ago, but I was on a crowded tube train once when a woman was groped by a male passenger. I only became aware of this when another guy confronted the perpetrator and threw him out of the train at the next stop, shouting, “Leave the women alone!”
– Anonymous
Location: London, United Kingdom
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A man slowed his car to follow me & my daughter (8 yrs old) on foot. He followed us for about a block yelling out his window that I’m sexy, I need to give him my number, at least my name, just hop in & talk to him for a little bit….
My daughter was obviously confused & uncomfortable, but I ignored him hoping she might think he wasn’t talking to me. I have a history of sexual assault & was merely focusing on controling my senses so that I wouldn’t dissociate. Then he pulled up into the driveway in front of us, cutting us off & yelled at my daughter: “Your mom is a fucking bitch-cunt-whore” before leaving in a fury. My amazing daughter yelled back that he was a stupid jerk & pulled me off the sidewalk, toward the park nearby where there was more people on foot.
Now, even though my only “invitation” for such threateningly creeptastical behavior was to fearfully ignore his graphic catcalls, the other family nearby looked at me instead as if I had caused the entire interaction & they held their children closer as we walked by. I do recognize the difference between a glance of disgust and a glance of pity. They directed their blame at the wrong person, just like when a rape victim is told she shouldn’t have gone out or she shouldn’t have worn a V-neck shirt. A more appropriate response would have been to ask if we’re alright!
My daughter asked me what the man’s words meant & why did all of that family look so mean at us. I told her there are no good answers to those questions. I told her I wish I’d been strong enough to tell him to go away when he first opened his mouth because following us was illegal. She said she knew I was scared because my hand was shaking in hers & that she would always be my hero when I need one.
We wanted to walk to the police station but we couldn’t remember what color the car was or any other details. We agreed that next time we would just tell such a person, “You’re breaking the law” & then we would tell them what they look like so they would know we would remember them.
– Tiffany Brown
Location: Small town outside of Syracuse, New York
Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Find suggestions for what YOU can do about this human rights issue.
I was in a pub for some after-work drinks with some friends and colleagues, including my boss. I felt someone behind me grab my hips, pinching them so tightly he actually hurt me, to try and move me out of his way as he walked to the bar (why he couldn’t have just said “excuse me” I don’t know). I turned round and told him “oi, don’t f***ing do that.” He looked rather shocked and apologised. A few minutes later, as he returned from the bar, I gave him a glare and he backed away and passed me at a respectful distance.
What happened next upset me much more: a female friend of mine said “I think you were way too aggressive with that guy.” I said, “But you saw what he did,” and she replied “I know, but it happens, you just have to accept it.”
I told her it happens precisely *because* people accept it, but she still thought I had overreacted. Both my friend and the groper were rather shocked at my reaction, and I think many people, both men and women, still expect women to feel flattered and just giggle coquettishly in response to harassment, and feel that getting aggressive is somehow unladylike and socially unacceptable.
– Anonymous
Location: London, United Kingdom
Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Find suggestions for what YOU can do about this human rights issue.
I was out running in clapham, London one day. Not one for Lycra, I was in a baggy t-shirt and my rugby shorts, pink in the face and sweating away. Nobody could say I was asking for attention but attention I got when I encountered a gang of young men who blocked my path and refused to let me past. I had my headphones in and couldn’t hear their words but their expressions spoke volumes. I could see they were posturing for each other. I was merely annoyed until one of them reached out with both hands and clamped them onto my breasts. I had to actually grab his wrists and yank his hands off to break free.
I would never have considered myself a timid person but in this case I turned on my heel and sprinted back to where I came from. It was the middle of a sunny Saturday in an area of posh housing. The only way to avoid an incident like this appears to be to lock yourself away and that is completely unacceptable. I am a structural engineer who works with mainly men but none of my male friends would object to something being done about this. My dad has offered to buy me a cattleprod.
– Anonymous
Location: Clapham, London
Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Find suggestions for what YOU can do about this human rights issue.
I was traveling around France and stopped in a place outside Lyon to visit a friend. As I was waiting for a bus on the side of a road a car stopped and got near me as if to ask directions. I was new to the area, but I thought I could somehow help the driver. When I leaned near the window he was masturbating himself openly and he obviously wanted me to see it. I moved back disgusted and angry at my own kindness. I was disgusted and shocked and I told my local friend about it.
This was about 15 years ago and obviously I haven’t forgotten. At the time I didn’t think too much about it afterward, but I now think, why do women have to go through this kind of harassment? I don’t think men ever think about these things, this would never happen to them, how could they understand? It’s time to change this.
– Angeles
Location: Lyon, France
Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Find suggestions for what YOU can do about this human rights issue.