Archives for 2011
Valentine’s Day advice for how not to be a street harasser!

With people like James Norton making a living from teaching men how to approach women, I think it’s very important to supplement that with advice on how to approach women without being a harasser!
Here’s an excerpt from a Guardian article I penned to do just that:
While perhaps obvious, the most important factor is treating the person with respect. Do not use insults or sexually objectifying language. A hello, smile or gender-neutral small talk that does not include comments about their appearance (at least, not right away) are rarely going to offend anyone and can open up the door to further conversation. Avoid familiar terms like “baby”, “honey” or “love”. While some people may not find that offensive, many do.
Make sure there is consent in your interaction. Does their body language, including eye contact (not lack thereof), and tone of voice indicate they want to interact with you, too? If you are unsure, you can always ask, is it OK if I talk to you?
Consider if the context might make them feel uncomfortable if you approach them. For example, is it dark out or a deserted area? Are you larger or older than them? Are you with friends while they are alone? If any of these factors apply, be aware that they may feel a little unsafe or unsure if you approach. So make it clear that you mean no harm and then leave them alone if they look uncomfortable.
Do not curse, insult or hurt a person who turns you down. Most of the time, people in public do not want to meet or even talk to someone. They want to get from point A to B or enjoy fresh air. They may be in a hurry or be preoccupied. Therefore, chances are that a person you approach is not going to want to talk to you or interact with you. That has nothing to do with you personally.
Talking with young men about appropriate stranger interactions in public is especially important. Society often suggests that in heterosexual relationships, it is men who should approach women. Men’s peers, family members and the media may tell them that it is OK, and even flattering, to be aggressive or to sexually objectify women whom they encounter (no matter the men’s or women’s sexual orientation). I doubt most men want to be harassers, but if they take these messages to heart, they may become harassers.
What advice would you give? Have you met someone on the street, at a bus stop, on public transportation, or the park? What did they do or say that made it nice instead of harassment?
Street Harassment Snapshot: February 13, 2011
Read stories, news articles, blog posts, and tweets about street harassment from the past week and find relevant announcements and upcoming street harassment events.
Street Harassment Stories:
I accept street harassment submissions from anywhere in the world. Share your story!
You can read new street harassment stories from the past week on:
- Stop Street Harassment Blog
- HollaBack Baltimore
- HollaBack Buenos Aires
- HollaBack DC!
- HollaBack France
- HollaBack Houston
- HollaBack Israel
- HollaBack London
- HollaBack Mumbai
- HollaBack NYC
Street Harassment in the News, on the Blogs:
The Peninsula Qatar, “Girl, harassed on train, succumbs in hospital“- Guardian, “Rules for a Happy Valentine’s Day“
- Sify News, “Candlelight march against women harassment in Delhi“
- International Museum of Women, “Maluca’s Musical World“
- Outlish Magazine, “Street Harassment: How it Hurts Women“
- The Jakarta Post, “Man charged for sexual harassment on busway“
- Emirates 24/7, “Murder crimes drop but sexual assault cases up“
- The Times of India, “City turning unsafe for women“
- The Times of India, “Man beaten up by eve-teasers“
- Gonzo Times, “Street Harassment“
- Guardian, “What sort of woman do I want to be?‘”
- New York Post, “Harass Kickers go Global“
- Baltimore City Paper, “Dick Pics“
- Indypendent Reader, “Hollaback and Party On!“
- The Consensual Project, “Consent On The Street With Holly Kearl“
- Feministing, “Holly Kearl on how to talk to women without harassing them“
- AAUW Dialog, “Don’t be a Harasser! How to Earn Consent on the Streets“
Events:
- Feb. 13: Street harassment planning meeting, In Other Words, Portland, OR, 6 p.m.
- Feb. 24: Stop Street Harassment Book Talk, James Madison University (VA), 6:30 p.m.
- Feb. 26: HollaBack Atlanta’s launch party
- Feb. 26: BLANK_NOISE’s #actionheroes college network meeting in Bangalore, India
Announcements:
New:
- If you’re a queer woman of color in New York City, please take this survey about your street harassment experiences for Kimberlynn Acevedo’s work on the topic
- If you live or have visited Washington, DC, share your street harassment experiences in HollaBack DC’s survey
- Sign HollaBack DC!’s petition asking the National Crime and Punishment Museum to Take Intimate Partner Violence Seriously
- Women Speak offers a place for women in Trinidad and Tobago to share their street harassment stories
On-going:
- Have an encounter with gender-based violence on NYC mass transit to share? http://tinyurl.com/transitstory (via RightRides)
- If you live in Washington, DC, take a street harassment survey for HollaBack DC!
- RightRides is hiring for a Communications & Outreach Intern and a Fundraising & Development Intern
- HollaBack is seeking a program associate intern
- If you live in the United States or in Iran, please take this survey about street harassment: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/januarystudy
- Are you in Egypt? Use HarassMap to report your street harassers
- Have an iPhone? Download the Hollaback iPhone app that lets you report street harassers
10 Tweets from the Week:
- nada_rama thats disappointing what happened to the new #Egypt plans ? :/RT: @EngyG sexual harassment was reported during street celebrations
- ImJDan I’m just shocked by the fact that women can go through street harassment every.fucking.day and men are still “well whose bothering u?”
- aaw1976 That street harassment is real @Imjdan. It happens to young girls everyday and they can be assaulted if they speak up.
- abby_go_lucky walk down the street sans fear of harassment/degradation. can someone make that into a pithy protest slogan?! preferably one that rhymes!
- wandofmirkwood How dare Westerners call the veil oppressive when I can’t even go out in public without getting harassed?
- sarahsosiak Resolved: My new response to street-harassment will be an academic lecture about the economics of male attention.
- spokenbeats Call me uptight, but I hate havng 2 deal w/street harassment on a daily basis. It gets old & it always has me on the defense
- MagneticCrow @littlefluffycat Aw, I used to smile at strangers… But it brought me so much additional street harassment that I stopped. 🙁
- sarahsosiak Wow. It is way too early to need to come up with snappy comebacks to street harassment.
- DianeMassage @MTAInsider, please tell yr train conductors not 2 cat-call women as they’re getting off the train. Thx #streetharassment
“I heard like a squirt squirt and felt something wet on my leg and again on my skirt”
I was coming up the stairs in Columbus Circle when I felt something wet hit my skirt. Then I heard like a squirt squirt and felt something wet on my leg and again on my skirt. When I got to the top of the stairs I felt my but and smelled my hand and instantly I was disgusted. It was semen. I turned and looked and there was a lot of on my skirt and my leg. When I looked around I saw 4 men but there was no way of telling who did it.
Has anyone ever heard of this?
Who wold do that. I was so pissed I went home and changed and am still creeped out.
– Michele
Location: Columbus Circle, NYC
Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Find suggestions for what YOU can do about this human rights issue.
Let Egypt inspire you! Take action online
In a few short weeks, the efforts of the people of Egypt, done largely through online organizing, led to unprecedented political change. Egypt is just the latest (and one of the most impressive) examples of how the Internet gives ordinary people a place to have a voice, share ideas, and create change.
Here are three opportunities for people in the U.S. to participate in small online actions that can, and surely will, lead to larger change.
If you are anyone, anywhere:
The National Museum of Crime and Punishment thinks that intimate partner violence should be described as “crimes of passion” during their Valentine’s Day events this weekend. No – such violence is motivated by issues of power/control, not passion. Support Hollaback DC and sign the petition demanding that the National Crime and Punishment Museum take intimate partner violence seriously.
Washington, DC- area residents or visitors who’ve experienced or witnessed street harassment:
Please help HollaBack DC! better understand public sexual harassment and assault in the DC Metro area by taking their 10-15 minute survey! Your answers will help them identify community needs and directly affect the workshops, programs, and materials that they offer. The data from this survey will also go into a report about the status of the issue in the DC metro area.
Queer women of color in New York City:
Kimberlynn Acevedo is writing about queer women of color* and their experiences in public spaces of New York City, including but not limited to the subway system and the streets, as well as semi-public spaces like restaurants and other businesses. Her goal is to give a voice to women who are, more often than not, underrepresented in the growing discussion around gender-based harassment, violence, and discrimination. If you are a queer woman of color in NYC, please take her survey and share your voices and views.
*queer is open ended and women is also open to self-identification
Thank you! Your five minutes of action is time well spent.
