“I will not enter the bus during rush hours, especially by myself.”

I was riding the M train back from an appointment downtown back to school. It was rush hour and the train was completely packed. This was my first day riding the Muni by myself. A middle age man, maybe early thirties, made a space for me on the bus, which I thought was very nice of him since I’m sure he could tell I was in a hurry. We began having small talk, mostly about how crowded the bus was. As people began departing from the bus we were able to move. I moved to the back wall of the train where the routes poster is displayed. I had stopped talking with him so I didn’t think it would be rude to put my headphones in and begin listening to music. I stood against the wall with my hands around my purse which I had rested on my legs. The man was standing next to me. And even though the train had become less crowded it was still too crowded to move with ease.

The man began scooting closer to me. I didn’t think anything of it. Although it made me uncomfortable I chalked it up to how crowded the bus was. He then grabbed my hand, I shook him off. When he made the motion to do it again I put my bag on my shoulder and my hands behind my back. I thought that would be enough of a hint however I was wrong. He then took his forearm and began rubbing them up and down my breasts. I froze, I should have walked away but I couldn’t move. It was like I was seeing it from above. On top of that no one did anything. Even though on a train your surround by people they are all in their own worlds attempting to have as minimal contact with those around them. After the next station stop he finished. The entire rest of the time he was on the train I was so fearful. I understood that I would not be able to leave the train until he got off. I did not want him to follow me. Luckily he got off two stops before mine.

Every time I get on the bus or train I know make sure to dress in a way that is attracting the least attention, which I call the bus rule. I always try to leave with a group with at least one man. I will not enter the bus during rush hours, especially by myself. I am always very aware of my surroundings. But most of all I am fearful. I should be able to be independent and feel safe to get what I need to done but that is not the world which I live in. I hope that can change one day. I truly do believe that sharing stories is the first step in that process.

– AU

Location: M train San Francisco, California

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