Today was the second time I’ve experienced a creepy guy in the cafe at London’s Wellcome Collection. I’d been working in the library solidly for about four hours and was looking forward to a well-deserved coffee and biscuit break, so went down to the cafe. I choose a window seat right in the corner with my back to the cafe so I could read my book in peace.
Despite the cafe being half empty, a guy sat directly next to me (the window seat areas aren’t massive, so it’s an odd choice). I immediately clocked him as a potential problem, and sure enough, he starts the performative posturing: sighing loudly, throwing papers onto the desk in what I presume is supposed to be a masculine and assertive fashion, tapping his pen, etc., etc. He hasn’t bought anything from the cafe, and is evidently more interested in watching what I’m doing than filling in his many pieces of paper.
I’m so sick of this – it happens a ll the time, that a guy is clearly trying to get attention by making me feeling uncomfortable, yet it’s not enough for me to be able to ‘complain’ about it. Lately I’ve taken to simply getting up and moving elsewhere (as I had to two weeks ago when a guy chose, in an almost empty train carriage, the seat directly opposite mine) and that’s exactly what I did today. I want to enjoy my coffee break without being eyeballed and made to feel like I’m ‘fair game’ by having the audacity to take a break from my work in the middle of the afternoon.
Predictably, almost as soon as I pointedly moved to another area, he decided to leave, having obviously finished all that important paperwork….
– Jen
Location: Wellcome Collection Cafe, London, UK
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ninyabruja says
I had this happen in a bar last summer:
When a booth became free, I settled in, took out a newspaper and my phone in order to charge it . A few minutes later, a man slid into the opposite bench and began to stare at me. I said “Back off!!” He didn’t move. I said “You are NOT welcome to join me!!!” He didn’t move. I asked “Do I have to get the manager?”, unplugged the cell and got up. As I tried to get over to the bar, he finally got up and said, “Ok, I’m going” and tried to pat me. I snapped “DON’T TOUCH ME!!!” and he went back to his friends. When I was finally able to point him out to the bartender, he left when he saw what I was doing.
kcoj says
I have had several incidents like this happen to me before as well. One in particular that was way to persuasive, was last year while I was at a conference for work. I went to breakfast before the conference, and checked my email. A man came up to my table, and while proceeding to sit down across from me, asked if he could sit there. I just stared because I could not believe he had the b*lls to do this. He started to make small talk and I told him I am married. That didn’t stop him. I proceeded to tell him, “I don’t want to talk to you.” THAT didn’t stop him. I had to call my male co-worker to come to the restaurant. When I told him there are people coming and he HAS to move, he left. I don’t understand the persistence after saying ALL I had to say beforehand, and it still didn’t click through.
I feel your pain Jen.
Airine says
I had this experienced before, One morning i decided to go out and grab a breakfast and have a cup of Brewed Coffee .
I felt uncomfortable when i enter the coffee shop because there was a group of guys on the table facing the entrance that suddenly fix eyes on me. I felt like: Hey! is this the first time you see a human being? anyway i was a bit uncomfortable also that i am dining alone so that makes it worst for me. While having Coffee, i was worried that one of this guy will walk towards my table and talk to me because i felt like they’re looking at me while sipping my coffee and putting down my coffee, its annoying so i just keep my smirking facial expression until i finished and walk out the coffee shop walking the best cat walk I weirdly done in my LIFE! its indeed a weird day for me.