It’s time for new advice

I was really irritated to read an article on my hometown’s Patch website (Reston Patch) with the headline “It’s Trail Season – Be Careful Out There.”

Fairfax County, where I live, is one of the safest in the country, but it’s still not safe enough. The article tells us:

“A woman told police a man walked up behind her and grabbed her bottom in the 11400 block of Waterview Cluster on April 1 at 6:30 p.m. The man fled in the opposite direction and has not been found or charged.

Police said a woman reported she was grabbed by a man on a wooded trail near Danbury Forest Drive in Springfield on Saturday. The woman yelled and fled.

The man was described as Hispanic, between 5’6” -5’9” feet tall and around 150-170 pounds. He was professionally attired in a white, buttoned shirt and a dark vest, black slacks and black shoes.

Around 12:30 p.m. on Saturday, a man whistled at a jogger in an area near Sully Park and Truitt Farm Drive. When she looked over, he was exposing himself and masturbating.

This incident may be another in a series of similar incidents in the Sully Police District in recent months. The woman yelled and saw him run down a paved path. She described him as olive-skinned with a protruding gut, green shirt and blue jeans. He was between 5’3” – 5’7” feet tall.”

Pretty disturbing stuff, right?

The article then lists advice from the police department:

* Try not to go out alone; if you do, make sure someone knows where you will be and when you expect to return.
* If possible, avoid using trails after dark.
* Do not use headphones at a high volume; make sure you can hear what’s going on around you.
*Always look ahead and see what or who is around you.

How is this helpful? All of the women were harassed and attacked during daylight hours, so the advice to not go out after dark is not applicable. There’s no indication that they were wearing headphones. It sounds like all of them were alert to what was going on around them and they were all able to get away from the creeps. The one thing they didn’t do was go out with a buddy.

Guess what, that ain’t happening. It’s impractical. It’s undesirable. It’s unequal.

Except in a war-torn area or high crime area, can you imagine telling grown men to not go places alone?  (And I know the advice was gender neutral, but really, after listing all those stories about women being harassed, it’s clear who the advice is for.) Why do we accept that it’s okay to tell this to women?

In the context of street harassment and sexual assault in public places, it’s pretty common to hear the words “stay safe” and “be careful” or admonitions to not go places alone or after dark. It’s funny since in general, women have been trained from a young age to be careful and we already limit our lives in ways we think, we hope, will keep us safe. We usually  already follow that advice when it’s practical. And we’re still harassed and assaulted. So isn’t it time for new advice?

While the police did share information on how to report harassers/assaulters, I would love to see information spread about other assertive responses people can have. I would love to see information listed about what bystanders can do. And maybe some kind of community outreach on this topic (..and as I write this, I recall how this is MY community so now I’m brainstorming what I can do offline to help with this issue…maybe I can collaborate with the division that manages the trails and we can post info every few miles about how to respond to harassers/assaulters and how to be good bystanders and post alerts about known perps.)

And of course, broadly, I’d love to see more focus placed on the potential perpetrators, not just on the potential victims/survivors, as a prevention tactic.

What are your thoughts, ideas, and suggestions?