Archives for June 2012

*A NOTE HERE: I wish at the time this happened this group was in full kicking butt mode as it is now. This happened last year and since then I’ve taken the experience and helped others.*

It was a Monday night in April of last year (2011) and I just got out of my Ethics in Criminal Justice class- just did my final- and I was waiting for my Mom to pick me up from school (at the time I did not have my license so I relied on a ride from night classes). Where I attended school was a fine place- a bustling neighborhood that was cheerful during day time- but a SCARY place at night. I had never run into an issue there in the three years I had attended there at that point- until that night.

While waiting I felt someone grab me. I turned around and it was this creepy guy who appeared in his 50’s or so. I froze. He started talking to me- whilst holding on to my left arm in a death grip. I stuttered my answers- gave him a false name when asked what my name was. The conversation pretty much went as follows:

*creep grabs my left arm*
Creep: ” Hey pretty little girl”
Me: *froze in place*
Creep: “What’s your name?”
Me: “Debbie”
Creep: “I’m Ralph”
Me: *frozen again*
Creep: “Come with me” *proceeds to attempt to drag me*
Me: *stomp foot, muster courage* “NO!”
Creep: *stunned, runs away*

All this took three minutes, but it passed slowly. I whipped out my cell phone and attempted to take a picture of the guy but it was blurry. My Mom shortly arrived after. I told her what happened. She wanted to take me to talk to the police, but I wanted to go home- which we did. The next day I kicked myself in the butt for not going to the police right away.

After carefully going through the details of the incident I wrote it down and called that city’s non-emergency police line to report it. I was told there was nothing they could do. (I was FURIOUS). I told them I had a picture and I was told to drop by and we could talk. I showed up at the police station and I got blown off. I got mad, and I spent that night scouring the web on the registered sex offender list for NH/VT (I was able to recall physical details of the creep). Well I found him. God was with me that night- this guy’s charge was aggravated felonious sexual assault on a child. Now at the time I was not quite 23 but I did get mistaken for being younger than 18- still disturbing. There are some sick people out there. And why they are there instead of being in jail- I (along with many others) would like to know.

After this I stopped wearing my hair in braids. I bought several cans of mace (I always carry one when legal to do so) and I pushed myself to get my license (which I did get) and put an awareness around my college, my coworkers who have young teens/children, and formed a buddy system amongst my classmates- basically two of us would wait with someone waiting for a ride or offer the individual a ride. Ever since then, I have never felt threatened/frightened like I did that night.

– Dal

Location: Lebanon, New, Hampshire

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This happened to me when I was on a three hour flight back from Mexico with my mom. I was sitting in the window seat and my mom was sitting right next to me. A family of three was sitting in front of us; a little girl in the window seat right in front of me, her dad in the middle seat, and the wife in the aisle seat.

The ENTIRE flight the dad kept looking back at me from between the seats. When I felt that he was looking at me I would look up from reading my magazine and we would make eye contact and then he’d look away instantly. This happened what seemed like every twenty minutes! I kept thinking to myself, “What the hell am I going to do? If I say something I might make a big deal out of it, but if I don’t I am going to hate myself and regret it later.” I also didn’t say anything to my mom because she didn’t seem to notice what was going on and I didn’t know how to bring it up to her.

Ultimately, I didn’t say anything during the flight. However, when we were in line for the security and customs checkpoint he kept staring and I couldn’t stand it anymore. I said (in Spanish), “Sir, why do you keep staring at me? What do you want? Do you have no shame doing what you’re doing when you with your with your daughter and wife?!” Of course he acted as if I was crazy and that he wasn’t doing anything. The worst part was his wife’s reaction; she looked at me and rolled her eyes! Why the fuck would I lie about something like that and be so upset about it?!!!

During the rest of the time in line he didn’t look at me once. When my mom watched me stand up to him she immediately took my side at said to him in Spanish that he was a shameful person.

Even though I stood up to him, I still felt really crappy afterward. I was upset with myself for letting that guy get to me and for not speaking up sooner. I know it’s not the best way to approach it, but never in my life wished that I had muscles and could beat the living crap out of someone & not get arrested.

– JR

Location: Volaris airplane

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I was walking home at night and passed by these ridiculous guys sitting on a bench. I tried to avoid eye contact because I didn’t want any attention from them. Of course, that never works.

One of them said, “Have a good night darling,” in what he must’ve thought was a seductive voice. I said nothing back and kept walking.

But it unfortunately didn’t end there. The man was annoyed I didn’t say anything back. “You could say THANK YOU,” he said condescendingly.

Something in me snapped. I have had these incidents numerous times; guys reprimanding me for not THANKING them for harassing me, staring at me penetratingly, calling me beautiful, or basically just acknowledging my existence. Sorry, didn’t realize I should drop to my knees and show so much gratitude for you being a disrespectful asswipe.

I screamed back so loud that my friends told me they could hear it from the upper floors.

“Shut the f**** UP!!!! Guess what DARLING? I don’t want your f****cking attention, you stupid HARASSER! You think because I am a girl I won’t do anything? F***k with me and I’ll f***k you up!”

I marched into my house and left them stunned in silence. At that point, all the rage that had boiled in me was released. Yelling back isn’t always the safest response, of course. People can have weapons. These men could’ve followed me home, except they didn’t. I was “lucky” in that sense, that I had friends waiting for me and that they didn’t know which floor I lived on, that they were paralyzed by my words. But in another sense, I won’t deny that I felt invincible. They never expected such a strong, loud voice from what they perceived to be a little girl. But I am a grown ass woman with a great screaming voice. They never knew what hit them. That’s what made it such a satisfying experience.

I bet they’ll think again before they demand gratitude from a stranger on the street. I hope they remember my voice every time they think they’re entitled to a girl’s gratitude when they harass them. It could be as simple as a righteous tone of voice, penetrating stare or something more serious like assault, but I hope they realize that girls won’t keep silent, that they can’t silence them or control their actions.

– The Voice

Location: New York

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem.
Find suggestions for what YOU can do about this human rights issue.