I was boarding the train with my bike, and I accidentally turned to the car in the very back. When I entered, I felt weird, and I couldn’t pinpoint why; suddenly, I saw a man get up, stand in the aisle, stare me right in the eye and start rubbing his crotch. I like to think of myself as someone who doesn’t get scared easily, but the way he looked at me made me feel like he was legitimately about to attack me, even though there were people in the cart nearby. I felt like prey.
I clumsily stumbled away from him and into the next car. I saw him sit down close to the window, so I went off to the other side of the train. I’m relieved that nothing happened, and there’s a part of me that feels like I’m overreacting, but rape is one of my biggest fears, and today, I think I met a potential rapist. I don’t know how to report the incident, so I’m posting it here.
– Anonymous
Location: Caltrain, California, USA
Sue H says
This guy was aggressively in your space so I really don’t think you were over-reacting at all. His behaviour was threatening and harassing and I’m glad you got away from him. You did all you were required to do by escaping from him so please don’t feel you did wrong in any way. You were right to head for where there were more people and away from him. The only other thing you could have done would have been to report the incident to the train guard or to the authorities at your destination station.
Blokes like this have a plan. They want to harass and possibly to attack, so it makes sense for we women to have plans too. In order to help you feel safer perhaps you could put together a plan for yourself for if a similar thing happens again. This could include taking a picture of the guy with your phone, shouting out for help (what he was doing was sufficient to warrant this without him doing anything more), going down the train to find a guard, calling the transport police (you could look up the number and save it on your phone before you next take a train). You’ll probably think of some other ideas yourself, and what such a plan would do would be to make you feel more in control. If you know how you’re going to react in a similar situation you’ll be able to go into that plan automatically if it happens.
I’m really glad you escaped in one piece, you did really well in a shocking and frightening situation.
beckie says
how very scary. You didn’t overreact at all. I wish there was a way to report these things more easily. that’s why so many perverts get away with it. But you shared, and that is step one!!!