On most days I find that I get stopped on the street by men. On a few occasions they have been aggressive, threatening and have followed me home. I have always dealt with it, and felt that it was a problem I shared with many woman and have even become accustomed to being particularly cautious and paranoid when I walk anywhere alone. I thought it was normal for woman to feel unsafe when out alone.
However, on my way back from work one day I was approached by a man on roller blades. I had heard him shout from quite a distance away and as usual, ignored it and carried on walking. The man eventually caught up with me and started to ask me questions, he was rude, intrusive and very very threatening. I tried to increase my pace until he eventually stood in front of me so I had no way of ignoring him. I pleaded with him to leave me alone, calmly at first but when I realized there was no way he was going to walk a way I got more desperate and begged him to stop.
Eventually he held back and I thought that It was over until I felt him come up behind me and grab me and start touching me. I was shocked. I screamed at him, “Don’t fucking touch me” and tried to raise alarm, but the one man that heard and saw what was happening walked away faster.
I felt helpless, vulnerable, weak and violated. It was almost as if I could feel his hands on me even after he skated away. I immediately called my parents and waited until I found someone to walk me home and called the police. It is safe to say that I have never felt so vulnerable in my whole life.
The fact that this man maliciously and intentionally touched me because I didn’t want to talk to him made the incident all the more sickening. I feel so angry and resentful; who made it acceptable for men to do this to me or any other woman that they decide is deserving of it?
Until this day, I have never thought twice about street harassment and more importantly I felt that I was never told, as a young girl by my school or by anybody that this is something I should speak out about and report to the police. At the age of only 19, I do not know if I will ever feel safe walking on the streets alone.
– S.L.
Location: Wandsworth Common, London, UK
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Raven says
Wow! This was powerful! All of this goes back to a form of BULLYING in which men feel inclined to do this stuff simply because they are physically imposing and know or at least feel that they can get away with it cause we are physically weaker and smaller. I can’t tell ya how many times when I have had sexual violence committed against me by males, male friends would tell me that, had I been a 6’8, 300lbs female, they wouldn’t of did that shit to me!
More of womyn – and here is the answer – need to start FIGHTING BACK! There is no excuse for that. Guys do that cause they figure we are smaller and thus, less likely to fight back. The minute you “fight back” ie respond with FEAR, you kind of invite it ie the harassment in in that the predator will smell blood deriving from its prey in the same manner a shark smells blood and, thus, it’s prey!
Check out my video on a recent case of street harassment:
Severe Sexual Harassment and Threats of Physical Violence by Male Sara Lee Truck Drivers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLywjsUWClg
If we were 6’4 and weighed 300lbs, would they fuck with us? NO! But because we are smaller, yes, they will fuck with us cause we make an “easy target”. Thus, take some self defense classes and PROVE THEM WRONG cause street harassment is about gender based bullying if anything with emphasis on the “bullying”.
Dal says
S- I can relate to you. I don’t like going anywhere alone because over the last two months I’ve been getting harassed on the street by men & sadly, teenaged boys even.
The question that’s on my mind is where in the hell do these pigs get the idea that it’s okay to harass women?!
What I do to help myself feel safe for the times that I don’t have really a whole lot of choice: I carry mace (where I live in the US is the VT/NH border, 18 yrs.old and no permit required. I’m not sure what the UK’s laws are regarding mace) and I carry a phone. I text/call someone to let them know I got to where I need to be and then when I’m leaving. Sounds like junior high but it’s not a bad idea really.
I realize it’s easier said than done, but keep your chin up, give ’em hell- and the next time they grab you and get in your face- give ’em a nice kick to the groin and stomach areas.