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Archives for October 2012

“When will this end?”

October 16, 2012 By Contributor

This goes beyond the usual shouting and name-calling I’ve experienced before, and I’m still in shock about what happened.

On 13 October, I was walking on a street in the city centre of Brussels, Belgium, on my way to catch the tram. It was about 18:00 so still bright outside. A young man walking alone in the opposite direction to me brushed against my shoulder as we crossed paths and spat in my face.

He just walked on! He didn’t say anything!

I was completely shocked. I didn’t see his face, I didn’t even look at him, and I wish I had been able to react! After he walked on I turned to shout after him, but he totally ignored me and kept going. I felt completely violated and aggressed.

There were other people on the street at that time. Nobody stopped to ask me if I was ok. Nobody tried to stop the young man.

I tried to clean my face with a tissue, but was still in shock. About ten minutes later I completely broke down and had to call my husband. He came and took me home and helped clean me up and made some sweet tea for me.

I have never felt so aggressed on the streets of the city centre of Brussels. I have, sadly, often experienced street harassment here before (and not only in Brussels, in most places I’ve been). Shouting, name-calling, propositions, cars slowing down and honking etc. This was the first time something so physical happened.

Later that evening I joined some friends for dinner. I took the long journey by metro and tram to meet them just to avoid walking on the streets as much as possible. My friends shared their experiences of street harassment with me, and I am now totally fed up. When will this end? Why are women so disrespected?

I am so angry that women and girls suffer this in their daily lives. My husband suggested I buy a pepper spray bomb. This is not the solution. The solution is that this stops happening and women are comfortable walking through the streets of their home!

– Claire

Location: De Brouckère, Brussels, Belgium

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“You’re hot! Call me!”

October 15, 2012 By Contributor

I was 21 and a college student. Having little money I always took the bus across town. Most of the time the other passengers ignored me and I ignored them. But one day, it was different.

A man at least twice my age kept trying to catch my eye. When I finally looked at him, thinking he wanted to ask me something, he winked at me and handed me a slip of paper with his phone number on it and some sort of comment on the lines of, “You’re hot! Call me!”

I looked back at him feeling creeped out and saw him grinning and leering at me. I said nothing to him and forced myself to stare out the window for the rest of the ride. I was frightened and embarrassed. I refused to look at him. I didn’t know what to do. I was afraid that he might follow me, so when the bus came into the square downtown I fled the bus as fast as possible and ran for the nearest public building – a coffee shop. As I was sitting there, trying to calm down and make sense of what had happened, I looked at the slip of paper in my hands and felt a sudden wave of rage and humiliation. I crumpled it up and threw it as hard as I could into the nearest garbage can.

– Anonymous

Location: Cincinnati, OH

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

Street Respect: “Have a nice day”

October 15, 2012 By Contributor

This is part of the series “Street Respect. “Street respect” is the term for respectful, polite, and consensual interactions that happen between strangers in public spaces. It’s the opposite of “street harassment.” Share your street respect story and show the kind of interactions you’d like to have in public in place of street harassment.

I was walking back to my dorm after my morning class when a guy tapped me on the shoulder. My earphones were in so I didn’t hear him approach me. Apparently he was trying to catch up with me for awhile. My immediate thought was “ugh, hear we go again.”

He proceeded to tell me that I looked beautiful and that he hoped I’d have a nice day. I waited a beat and then realized…that was it. He didn’t ask for my name, number or relationship status. But if he had asked, I probably would’ve responded.

Those simple words made me feel so confident. I spent the rest of the day playing his comment over and over in my head.

It brought things into perspective for me: yes, there are males who go out of there way to degrade a female but there are males who go out there way to build females up.

– Alex S.

Location: N.C. Central University (Durham, NC)

[Editor’s note: While this blog contributor felt respected by this interaction and that is great, many women would not because it entailed an unsolicited evaluation of her appearance by a stranger and that is something men generally don’t have to deal with. Since not everyone would feel respected by this interaction, if you’re unsure how to interact with someone on the street, I suggest making a gender-neutral comment. If you want to pay someone a compliment about how they look, to be safe, say it to someone you know or say it after you’ve been talking to someone for a few minutes.]

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Filed Under: Street Respect

Men Harassing Men on the Streets

October 15, 2012 By Contributor

This is a guest post by Patrick McNeil and cross-posted with his permission from Feministe. Patrick is finishing his master’s thesis at The George Washington University in Washington, D.C., where he is pursuing his Master’s in Women’s Studies. His work focuses on whether and how gay and bisexual men experience street harassment and how this form of harassment intersects with and diverges from the gender-based street harassment of women. Follow him on Twitter at @patrickryne.

Patrick McNeil shared his preliminary research findings at a GWU event during Stop Street Harassment’s week of awareness: Meet us on the Street in March 2012.

While waiting for a bus on my way to work, a man approached me and asked about the bus schedule. Then, he asked if I liked him. He said he was on the DL, that he liked my voice and thought I was sexy. I grew uncomfortable, and wasn’t sure how to respond. He then questioned whether I liked big black cock and asked if I wanted to see his. His aggression was unwanted and it took awhile to convince him that I wasn’t interested.

Another time while walking through a metro station, I was harassed for holding hands with another boy.

As much as I wish these incidences were rare, they’re not – and that’s the reality for many men who are perceived to be either gay or bisexual.

Lately, we’ve heard a lot about the street harassment of women, from a CNN.com homepage feature to a skit on Saturday Night Live, and while the focus on the gender-based street harassment of women needs even more attention than it’s getting now, the harassment of men is an interrelated issue that deserves some attention, too.

Earlier this year, I conducted research as part of my master’s thesis at The George Washington University about the street harassment of gay and bisexual men. I surveyed 331 men around the world about their experiences, and about 90 percent said they are sometimes, often, or always harassed or made to feel unwelcome in public spaces because of their perceived sexual orientation – a figure that is far too high.

But the harassment of gay and bisexual men is complicated. They’re targeted because they are men, and they’re targeted because their masculinity is, in some cases and to varying degrees, illegible. It’s a form of violence that takes place in a heterosexist society, one that tries to enforce traditional gender standards and behaviors on individuals engaged in public interaction.

The types of harassment my respondents experienced tended to vary based on the sexual orientation of the harasser. They reported that it was other gay or bisexual men who whistled at them and touched/grabbed them in a sexual way, while men who they identified as straight were more responsible for other things, like honking, swearing, making homophobic comments, purposely blocking a path, or following.

Many men reported toning down their appearances in public to appear more masculine and avoid harassment. One respondent said he was uncomfortable around guys he referred to as “bros,” even though he had little experience being harassed by them.

And this is what I find so unsettling about this form of violence. Though it may happen less often than the gender-based street harassment of women, gay and bisexual men still think about and, at times, agonize over it. In fact, about 71 percent of my survey respondents reported constantly assessing their surroundings when navigating public spaces.

In addition, 69 percent said they avoid specific neighborhoods or areas, 67 percent reported not making eye contact with others, and 59 percent said they cross streets or take alternate routes – all to escape potential harassment.

Women and men should not feel afraid walking to the store or to work, or riding a bus or subway, and they certainly should not have to take extreme measures like switching jobs or moving residences just to avoid the unwanted attention they get in public spaces. This is a major social problem and something must be done to combat it.

First, we need to speak up when we witness acts of public harassment and we need to encourage more men to speak out about the issue, including when they’re being harassed. By speaking out and sharing our stories, we can work toward a culture that does not dismiss public harassment as the price you pay for being a woman, or for being perceived as a gay or bisexual man.

Second, we need to know more about street harassment, an under-researched issue. Stop Street Harassment, a new nonprofit organization, plans to conduct a nationally representative study on street harassment that will provide us with data about the harassment both women and men experience and the impact it has on their lives. Unlike my opt-in, informal survey, this study will produce nationally representative data that is desperately needed to help us understand the issue. But this study will only be possible with our help, so consider donating online now.

And finally, we have to keep talking about street harassment because, well, it’s happening right now. And it’s happening everywhere. And everyone needs to know about it.

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Filed Under: male perspective, street harassment

Digest of street harassment stories, news, announcements & tweets: October 14, 2012

October 14, 2012 By HKearl

By Cat Calls: Called Out

Read stories, news articles, blog posts, and tweets about street harassment from the past few weeks.

** Sign up to receive a monthly e-newsletter from Stop Street Harassment ***

Street Harassment Stories:

Share your story! You can read street harassment stories on the Web at:

Stop Street Harassment Blog

HarassMap in Egypt

Bijoya in Bangladesh

Resist Harassment in Lebanon

Ramallah Street Watch in Palestine

Name and Shame in Pakistan

Safe Streets in Yemen

Street Harassment in South Africa

Many of the Hollaback sites

Street Harassment In the News, on the Blogs:

* The Guardian, “How to stop sexual harassment on public transportation“

* Hindustan Times, “Activists to raise awareness about women’s rights through plays“

* Daily Tar Heel, “Street molesting not only in Paris“

* CNN, “Your take: What’s behind street harassment?“

* Everyday Feminism, “5 Excuses for Street Harassment We Need To Stop Making…Now“

* The Mercury, “Blow whistle on harassment“

* The Frisky, “The Soapbox: Does Street Harassment Keep You From Exercising?”

* BBC Video, “Murder prompts fresh calls for new sexual harassment laws in Egypt“

* The Muslim News, “Egypt: Sexual harassment huge problem facing women“

* All Africa, “Egypt: Women Council Brainstorms Ways to Combat Sexual Harassment“

* Altmuslimah, “Men step up to fight sexual harassment in Egypt“

Announcements:

New:

* Last weekend, Saturday Night Live included a very unfunny skit about street harassment in their show. Here are my ideas for 5 funnier skits they could have done on the topic.

* There are new anti-street harassment groups in Australia and Nepal

* Watch: News of a Battle Cry


Reminders:

* Stop Street Harassment welcomes and announces its new board of directors!

* Stop Street Harassment recently incorporated as a nonprofit organization. Please donate so we can conduct a national street harassment study and gather much needed data documenting the problem.

* Read an interview with Tatyana Fazlalizadeh about her beautiful art work against street harassment

* What did street harassment look like in 1945?

* @Shefunionwomcom We are collating stories of women’s experiences of street harassment. If you have a story please email it to womens.committee@shef.ac.uk

* METRAC released a free “Not Your Baby App” to provide responses you can use when experiencing harassment

* The Adventures of Salwa campaign has a hotline for sexual harassment cases in Lebanon: 76-676862.

* In Bangalore, India, there is a helpline for street harassment 080 – 22943225 / 22864023

* Report #streetharassment in Pakistan at @NameAndShamePk, email nameandshame@ryse.pk, SMS 0314-800-35-68 or online at http://www.nameandshame.pk

20 Tweets from the Week:

1. @juliemastrine  At TRIOTA preparing for our anti-street harassment demonstration. Join us by the Allen St. gates at 4:30! pic.twitter.com/qKmTlgLc

2. @SelaFreuler  I hate that the only time my childbearing hips get any love is when I’m experiencing street harassment. Good lord.

3. @CallOutCatCalls  Is there an acceptable way to compliment strangers on the street without it being #streetharassment ? How do you draw the line?

4. @LadySnarksalot  WTF? RT @emmamwoolley: @amirightfolks @CromartyHeather This guy defends street harassment as a pickup technique. http://bit.ly/RmDUkF

5. @reneetheorizes  Did you read CNN’s homepage feature on #streetharassment last wkend? Here’s why it’s such a big deal http://bit.ly/Wd84eO  #endSH

6. @mikatekobaloyi  @SingleBlackMale and gym harrassment!not even sure what to where to the gym anymore.

7. @boodleoops  @SingleBlackMale @hkearl street harassment is the reason it took me until I was 30 to have the courage to go running outdoors.

8. @HollabackDublin  Wishing all members of the LGBTQ community a happy and #streetharassment-free National Coming Out Day!

9. ‏@publichistorian  @kaleidofox I was head to toe bundled in a huge down coat in the middle of the winter in MN & got the exact same street harassment as usual.

10. @nualacabral  We need to make public spaces SAFER for women & girls. End #StreetHarassment! #dayofthegirl #EndSH

11. ‏@UN_Women  to combat sexual harassment against #GirlChild we need a clear definition, media attention, support for survivors, reform educational system

12. @NoonArabia  #endSH “@Afrahnasser:Young girls in #Yemen are starting 2 break the silence about sexual harrasment. It’s time 2 break the stigma as well.”

13. @lasrevistas Reclaiming the streets in brussels! @hollabackbxl #streetharassment http://instagr.am/p/QcfZOgp6pV/

14. @rovingaltruist  “F***-you armour” being headphones, huge shades and modest dress. Effective? Don’t count on it. Welcome to #Egypt! #endSH #streetharassment

15. @Caro130  Had one of those extra-annoying #streetharassment encounters yesterday that started politely (so I said hi back nicely) & devolved quickly

16. @Sarahkasm  #WhyIHateCairo : #StreetHarassment seemingly increasing this year. Puts a damper on walks for “fresh” air.

17. @luce_mon  @VagendaMagazine I slapped someone at a gig once after they groped me more than once. Then he threatened to hit me. It was horrible.

18. @somekindofwoman  @VagendaMagazine A man grabbed me between the legs while I walked down the street. I didn’t realise til after how shouty and sweary I was.

19. @mich_mck  @VagendaMagazine Had my boob groped IN THE QUEUE of Penneys (Primark in Ireland) last year. I just froze. Regret not kicking up and fuss.

20. @craftyfoxj  @VagendaMagazine I screamed at the person that groped me and continued to do so until they ran away. And then reported it to the cops.

 

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Filed Under: News stories, Resources, Stories, street harassment, weekly round up

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