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Archives for February 2013

“I felt terror and discomfort”

February 28, 2013 By Contributor

Everyone loves a Saturday night out, right? After all, what’s better than being with some friends and enjoying some drinks? But ah-ha! You’re not me — the girl that used to love Saturday now a Saturday hater.

Why, you ask? It’s simple. It starts with the scene I used to be part of. I was into dressing in corsets and what people would call “fetish” dress, and yep, head’s do turn when you head to the clubs; but alas, I am no longer part of the scene.

Catcalling, groping, leering and whistling was what I used to get from men when I headed out into town on a Saturday night. It’s worse when you’re in the clubs — especially when you sit on your own for a while. Once a guy sat next to me and started to rub my leg and even threw handcuffs onto me without my consent. I felt assaulted and my personal space violated.

Outside the clubs, when groups of men walked where my friends and I walked I used to lower my head and look away — scared that they were going to call/assault me. No woman should have to feel such fear when she’s out with her friends, but I did and still do when I’m asked to join them in bars/pubs.

Sounds crazy but I avoid nights out now because my fear is too great. Being a rape survivor doesn’t help but being harassed by men adds to the anxiety I already feel. If I could sum up how I felt when I used to go out it would be that I felt terror and discomfort.

So what about when I’m out of the clubs? Am I still harassed? You bet! When I go for my usual jogging routine the heads turn and an odd gesture/comment is made but thank god for music players and headphones. They’re a god-send!

Ignorant people will say, “What do you expect? The way you dressed and all, you were asking for attention.” But I tell them this: I was sure as hell NOT asking to be harassed! Regardless of what people think – woman should be allowed to wear whatever the hell they like without any unwanted attention.

Who knows? Maybe I’ll be able to go out one day without being the centre of attention; heck — I’ll go out one night in tacky jeans and a t-shirt and I’ll still get harassed. Nothing ever changes!

I guess I’m used to it now; but like most people I long for the day when I can jog and go about my daily life without being the victim of street harassment.. It’s nice to think about that one, and yes — I live in hope.

Perhaps you should too!

– Sammy D

Location: Fife, Scotland (United Kingdom)

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

Baltimore City Health Dept. Meeting

February 27, 2013 By HKearl

L to R: Corey Reidy, Mel Keller & Shawna Potter of Hollaback Bmore & Holly Kearl of Stop Street Harassment

Hollaback Bmore does great work to address street harassment in Baltimore, Maryland, from bringing attention to the harassment homeless people face to helping teenagers learn ways to deal with street harassment.

I was honored to join them today as they met with the Baltimore City Health Department to brainstorm ways they could work together to address street harassment in their city. Cross promoting and sharing resources is an immediate way they plan to work together and they may also collaborate on a video project and work toward making an anti-harassment public service announcement campaign a reality.

If you have contacts with local government, it doesn’t hurt to see if they would be interested in talking about street harassment and seeing how their department or entity can address it too. Since street harassment is so complex and touches so many people, chances are there is a logical way for the issue to be incorporated into the work they’re already doing.

Need advice or help on setting up a meeting or planning talking points? Contact me!

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Filed Under: hollaback, Resources, street harassment

USA: Free Lurkers with Gym Membership

February 27, 2013 By Contributor

By Natasha Vianna, SSH Correspondent

Photography by Randy M Ury Corbis

A few years ago, I signed up for a gym membership for the first time in my life. It was exciting! I am a mom so getting back to working out, losing the baby weight, and feeling good was all an amazing concept. And that’s all it ever was, a concept. By the end of my first gym visit, I hated the gym because of the men.

Day one at the gym included some cardio, some zumba, and some weights. What I didn’t realize is that my membership not only granted me access to the gym and childcare center, but it also included creepy stares from lurky men and free, new unwanted nicknames from the desperate.

My first day was horrifying. As I was on the treadmill, I felt so uncomfortable as I watched two guys walk behind me to just stand there and stare at my ass. And when I walked to the water fountain, someone strategically met me there at the same time to watch me bend over for a sip.

I never felt so uncomfortable in my life. The experience and the staring were in no way flattering to me. In fact, when I went home, all I could do was look for workout clothes that weren’t clingy. At one point, I even asked myself if I was dressing too sexy for the gym.

One evening, the scariest perk of my co-ed gym membership surfaced. A man from the gym followed me to my car at night. As I carried my 3 year-old daughter, he walked only a few steps behind us and I didn’t notice him until I was already opening my car door. Nervously, I locked her inside and asked him what he wanted. He insisted I give him my phone number and when I said no, he told me that he wouldn’t take no for an answer.

Not even a moment later, someone from the gym walked outside and startled him. I smiled and waved them over. He looked back at me and told me he would try again tomorrow. I never went back to the gym again.

So today, when I was talking to a male friend, I told him I couldn’t go to co-ed gyms anymore. He asked me why and I told him the story. His first few comments included: “Why would you go to a gym filled with guys?” and, “What were you wearing?”

I pulled out his male privilege card and reminded him that I was a woman and he was a man. Never in his life would he be asked those questions if a woman harassed him. Never in his life would he be asked if he was wearing clothes that were too tight after complaining about someone following him to his car. Yet, here I stand constantly talking about the types of harassment I endured and the first thing some people ask is how I evoked or provoked my mistreatment.

Women should be able to wear anything anywhere without worrying about a man’s ability to control himself. Women should be able to go to a co-ed gym and work out peacefully. Gyms should have zero tolerance for sexual harassment and should be concerned about the safety and well-being of their members. Some co-ed gyms have implemented designated areas of the gym for women with the machines women are more likely to use. While this seems like a solution, it’s a joke. The machines are usually shitty and only 1/10 of what is offered in the gym.

How awesome would it be to see a sign on every wall reminding members that sexual harassment is not tolerated? Or if a portion of every single person’s contract included a sexual harassment clause?

Have you ever been harassed at the gym? Share your story.

Natasha Vianna, a fearless activist and young feminist, is a freelance writer and blogger based out of Boston, MA. Follow her on twitter!

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Filed Under: correspondents, Stories, street harassment

Yes To Carrots: It’s Not a Compliment

February 25, 2013 By HKearl

UPDATE: Yes to Carrots will stop using this packaging.

“@yestocarrots: @hkearl We’re sorry about this offending statement. We’re 100% going to change this, we only want to be positive! “

Thank you, Yes to Carrots, and thank you to everyone who contacted them!

Via twitter, @LisaMcIntire posted the photo on the right. The offending company? Yes To Carrots, based in the California Bay Area.

It’s ironic that the company is based there as that is one of the only areas in the United States where street harassment has been studied. The study found that 100% of women had been harassed in public spaces – including whistling – and they didn’t like it!

Also, only a few weeks ago, a man stabbed a woman in San Francisco after she ignored his verbal harassment on the street.

We need companies that market to women to be on the side of women and not perpetuate outdated and harmful stereotypes.

I hope Yes To Carrots will stop using this packaging immediately.

You can let the company know that their product packaging is harmful because it perpetuates the myth that street harassment is okay and that it’s a compliment when neither are true.

Info: http://www.yestocarrots.com/, @yestocarrots.

H/T to @SafeSpacesDC & @LisaMcIntire

 

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Filed Under: offensive ads, street harassment

Egypt’s Circle of Hell

February 25, 2013 By HKearl

“The Circle of Hell”: a graffiti painting by El Zeft and Mira Shihadeh addressing the sexual violence at Tahrir Square

As more women come forward with stories about the sexual violence they’ve survived while trying to protest at Tahrir Square in Cairo, Egypt, we’ve learned that their assailants often use a disturbing strategy.

Via UPI:

“Many of the sexual attacks on women during protests in Cairo’s Tahrir Square are organized with as many as 300 men participating, activists say.

Activists describe a tactic that has become known as the “circle of hell,” Ahram Online reports. They say the men form two long lines and move through the crowds in the square.

Once the groups find one or two women alone they form a circle around them, trapping them.

Masa Amir, a researcher at Nazra for Feminist Studies, said the attackers continue to work together.

“One takes her shoes off, another pulls her trousers off, then someone else takes her phone and watch,” she said.

Engy Ghozlan, the founder of Harassmap, said women sometimes find themselves surrounded with some men trying to help them and others to rape them: “The woman is confused and doesn’t know who to trust.”

And street harassment and sexual violence is not just localized to Tahrir Square. Women all over the city feel unsafe going places alone. In response, there have been many protests, rallies, and actions to try to make public places safer for women.

Via The Newstatesman:

“Egypt has tolerated a culture of misogyny for many generations. In the past year, however, there has been a change in mood. Women from all walks of life are afraid to go out in the street at all, whether they’re marching to bring down the government or popping to the shop for a pint of milk. Even Tahrir Square, the symbolic political heart of the nation, has become all but impassable to any woman without a hefty male escort.

One of the groups fighting back is Op – AntiSH – pronounced “Oppantish” and standing for Operation Anti-Sexual Harassment – volunteers, some of them men and many of them women who have been raped and assaulted. OpAntiSH physically stops assaults in Tahrir Square and the surrounding areas, using Tasers, spray paint, fists, force, sticks, anything they can put their hands on to protect women from “mob attacks”. They divide into task-teams with specific jobs: some to summon rescuers to the scene of an assault, some to grab the victim and take her to safety, some to distribute the contents of emergency packs containing spare clothes, water and blankets. It’s all down to them, because the police are far more concerned with attacking protesters than protecting women.

In a flat above Tahrir Square after Friday prayers, activists with OpAntiSH organise into teams to head down to the protest lines. “The significant shift is in how women see the issue,” says Reem Labib, an OpAntiSH member. “We’ve been violated and we will not be silenced. I’ve never seen it like this before. There’s always been this barrier of shame and fear.”

“We believe that a big part of this mob is organised – sexual assault has always been one of the means used by the state to intimidate women. But even so, it’s still relying on the deeper problem in society,” says Tarsi, an OpAntiSH spokesperson whose flat we are in. She makes tea for the shell-shocked women and men pulling on team T-shirts to go out and risk their lives again in the square whose name means freedom. These seven friends, students and charity workers in jeans are fighting a real war – a war for the soul of their revolution, as well as for the lives of women in the streets of Cairo.”

The volunteers of OpAntiSH are heroes. It’s a shame their work is needed at all, but clearly, it very much IS needed!! Bravo to them and everyone else who is taking a stand, speaking out, and trying to create a world where there are no more circles of hell.

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Filed Under: News stories

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