One day, I was alone in a lab working, and another student came in and started talking to me. Nothing he said was threatening, but I was looking straight at what I was doing and said several times that I was busy, trying to make him leave me alone, but of course to him, and many other men, when a woman pays you no attention it’s just a sign to try harder instead of to leave her alone. So he kept talking to me and tried to show me some comedy video on his phone. I fake-laughed to try to get him to leave me alone.
After some time he finally left, but I saw him again in the same lab a few days later. When he got up to leave the lab, he came over again and tried to talk to me. I explained to him that he was bothering and harassing me the other day and I just wanted to be left alone. He said something about making me laugh to which I responded I did that to try to get him to leave me alone, but the whole time I was explaining that he was harassing me and I wanted him to leave me alone, he just smiled and laughed, as if it was just some sort of game to him. Finally he was about to go and said ‘I’ll talk to you later,’ to which I responded ‘No you won’t. Leave me alone. You’re harassing me.’ But he just laughed and walked away. How are you supposed to get someone to leave you alone when they will not take you seriously even when you are TELLING them to leave you be?
I called the police not too much later, and am working on a solution, but honestly I’m scared that police intervention will make things worse. I’m sure any woman and perhaps some men reading this understand how frightening it is to be telling someone that they are threatening and bothering you, and they will not take you seriously or even listen to you. Now I feel completely unsafe in what should be a safe space for me, and I am very resentful of my harasser for that. I just wanted, and just want to be left alone to work. It shouldn’t be hard to take a woman seriously when she says ‘leave me alone.’ Now I am much more often looking over my shoulder and worried.
– Anonymous
Location: Charlotte, North Carolina
