This is cross-posted with permission from The Unconventional Housewife and is part of the series “Street Respect. “Street respect” is the term for respectful, polite, and consensual interactions that happen between strangers in public spaces. It’s the opposite of “street harassment.” Share your street respect story and show the kind of interactions you’d like to have in public in place of street harassment.
As a female working in a large city, I am often subjected to street harassment. It is not unusual to be approached while grocery shopping or be lambasted with disgusting remarks walking in front of a construction site. It is not a rarity to be physically touched, whether an arm grab or a brush of my hand. Nor is it uncommon to endure drive-by harassment (honks, whistles, etc). What is uncommon is being approached by a complete gentleman.
During my lunch hour I headed to my local Safeway in hopes of snagging a bite to eat, when I was greeted by a man. After kindly returning his greeting, the man asked if we had met previously. I stated, not to my knowledge. He then asked if I worked in the area or if I had ever been to one of the local high schools. Hesitantly, I stated no—all the while waiting for the pickup line.
Are you married, he asked. Confident the conversation just crossed the threshold, I answered yes. Then to my surprise, he asked if I had children. Upon answering this question, he let down his walls and began to divulge his life. He informed me about his recent knee surgery, his family, and his position as an educator. He was thrilled to have walked from his physical therapy appointment to Safeway, as he was informed this would be challenging only a few weeks after having reconstructive surgery. He then informed me on his excitement to return to work on Monday.
He continued chatting, which led to an actual conversation between the two of us. I discovered he was quite passionate about health and educating young adults. We discussed my experience working with vulnerable youth. He related, as a high school teacher who works with inner city children. We then discussed community activism, and the important role our youth play in creating change. He informed me about the Four R’s of Teaching: relationships, rigor, relevance, and results. To which we discussed the importance of positive adult-youth relationships, which challenge young minds and lead to better critical thinking skills, thus making life relevant for them.
As our conversation slowly came to an end, the man stated he had a message for my husband. While our conversation was amazing, I still found myself dreading the message. I kept saying: please don’t say it, please don’t say ‘he’s a lucky man’. While my husband is a lucky man, it is not because I am some prize or commodity he has won. His luck stems from his own being and accomplishments, not from the way he looks with me on his arm. To my surprise, the man did not make any such statement. Instead he said: tell your husband to be a gentleman at all times, to you and your children.
We bid our farewells, both pleased to have become acquainted and ready to continue our day. In leaving our conversation, I felt revitalized. To be respected as a female and human being by the opposite sex is rare. No matter what intentions this man had, his actions were that of kindness, compassion, and reverence—a true gentleman.
– Angie
Location: Seattle, WA
