Everyone loves a Saturday night out, right? After all, what’s better than being with some friends and enjoying some drinks? But ah-ha! You’re not me — the girl that used to love Saturday now a Saturday hater.
Why, you ask? It’s simple. It starts with the scene I used to be part of. I was into dressing in corsets and what people would call “fetish” dress, and yep, head’s do turn when you head to the clubs; but alas, I am no longer part of the scene.
Catcalling, groping, leering and whistling was what I used to get from men when I headed out into town on a Saturday night. It’s worse when you’re in the clubs — especially when you sit on your own for a while. Once a guy sat next to me and started to rub my leg and even threw handcuffs onto me without my consent. I felt assaulted and my personal space violated.
Outside the clubs, when groups of men walked where my friends and I walked I used to lower my head and look away — scared that they were going to call/assault me. No woman should have to feel such fear when she’s out with her friends, but I did and still do when I’m asked to join them in bars/pubs.
Sounds crazy but I avoid nights out now because my fear is too great. Being a rape survivor doesn’t help but being harassed by men adds to the anxiety I already feel. If I could sum up how I felt when I used to go out it would be that I felt terror and discomfort.
So what about when I’m out of the clubs? Am I still harassed? You bet! When I go for my usual jogging routine the heads turn and an odd gesture/comment is made but thank god for music players and headphones. They’re a god-send!
Ignorant people will say, “What do you expect? The way you dressed and all, you were asking for attention.” But I tell them this: I was sure as hell NOT asking to be harassed! Regardless of what people think – woman should be allowed to wear whatever the hell they like without any unwanted attention.
Who knows? Maybe I’ll be able to go out one day without being the centre of attention; heck — I’ll go out one night in tacky jeans and a t-shirt and I’ll still get harassed. Nothing ever changes!
I guess I’m used to it now; but like most people I long for the day when I can jog and go about my daily life without being the victim of street harassment.. It’s nice to think about that one, and yes — I live in hope.
Perhaps you should too!
– Sammy D
Location: Fife, Scotland (United Kingdom)
