I’m almost in shock that there’s a place to write this down. I’ve been harassed more times than I could ever, ever remember. I’m 48 years old. If you assume 52 weeks a year starting at about age 12 to age 42 – that’s 30 years x 52 weeks = 1,560 and that’s not even taking into account that harassment took place absolutely more than once a week; especially at work. Assuming twice a week, that’s 3,120 times in my life from age 12-42. This is not exaggeration; merely fact.
I’m older now and while no one wants to ‘grow old’, less harassment is one benefit. It’s sad that as a woman, I am almost relieved that my youth is gone; simply because I am harassed less which gives me a chance to feel more free to move about without eyes on me, comments, glares. A man could never understand this.
As wrong as I knew it always was, I never thought I’d see the day when there would be a place to talk about it.
My usual response to harassment was loud, angry, cursing, etc. but as I got older, I’d simply ignore it and keep moving or going about my business.
The most recent incident came when the owner of our local gas station sold to new people. From the first time I went into this place I felt immediately uncomfortable. As is the case with gas stations, quite often, more than one man works there. They would all stare at me like they’d never seen a female before. It was quite bizarre. I tried to pay for my gas and go and the guy behind the counter said ‘you’re so beautiful’ which, as these things go, is not the worst thing one can hear, but accompanied by the wolfish look and the fact that it’s 3 or 4 men at once staring at you, it’s very nerve-wracking.
I went back a few weeks later and the same guy who had called me beautiful said it again and this time asked what my nationality was, which is a question I find annoying as I’m mixed heritage and it takes too long to get into when, hello, all I’m trying to do is buy gas and go about my day! Why should my day be interrupted and slowed down? By the third time I went in I was no longer Lisa or Annette or Angela, I was ‘hi beautiful’ then a wolfish stare. I like my anonymity; I don’t crave attention/harassment so I stopped going there and instead drive almost a mile out of my way to get gas without being made to feel like a piece of meat or a treat of some kind. Plus, given this place is not always packed with people, I felt unsafe and simply made up my mind; I’m not going there again.
I doubt men can understand the feeling women have of never being anonymous. I can never just go out without feeling like my presence is being noticed and thought about or commented on.
Being asked to suck someone’s **** or being called pretty or beautiful again and again, surprisingly can make me feel almost the same level of violation and annoyance. Just leave me alone; let me be; let me walk and live my life in peace, without the never ending commentary. Please.
– Anonymous
Location: New York City
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Plan to speak out against street harassment, April 7-13, 2013, during International Anti-Street Harassment Week.
