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Canada: Please, for the love of God, Don’t Go Talk to Her

April 11, 2013 By HKearl

Photo via adamlodolce.coms

By Terris Schneider, SSH Correspondent

Hey ladies, did you know that FACT: everyone woman likes to be complimented, especially in public against their will? Sure, this may not be the actual case, but this is one of the ideologies behind Adam LoDolce’s dangerous “Go Talk To Her” campaign. According to Adam LoDolce: “Who dislikes a compliment? No woman I’ve ever met.” Well then, it must be true of all women!

LoDolce’s campaign encourages men to hit on women by approaching them in a public space. He believes that this method is much more effective than relying on women to make the first move or sticking with online dating sites. I didn’t realize either of these two strategies were such a bad thing, but I digress…  LoDolce’s approach sounds rather familiar – I think it might go under another name: Street Harassment. Even though LoDolce claims that shy men are usually the ones his coaching appeals to, and that he tells them to look for “indicators of disinterest,” this campaign still has the effect of propagating rape culture and doesn’t account for the fact that some men do not take no for an answer when women express they aren’t interested. Some men take it too far, and can cause women to feel threatened. Plus, most women I know just want to be left alone and aren’t property for men to disturb while they’re out walking or running errands.

And just who are this “Dating Confidence Coach™ (name trademarked!) that men are taking advice from? Sure, he has coached men for years on how to approach women, but where is he getting his information from? From what I can tell, he has no credible education making him an expert in this field. He is a glorified Pick Up Artist trying to claim himself as legitimate, and if people buy into this, then this can only set back the SSH movement.

In Vancouver, street harassment has been especially worse lately and my friends and I have attributed it to this campaign. Since my friends and I wrote some comments on LoDolce’s Facebook page that got deleted, and we no longer have access to write on his page (a social media faux pas, Mr. LoDolce!), I figured I’d write some of his greatest hits on here. His Facebook page is an especially great showcase of all the harm he is doing to the SSH movement, by making assumptions about women with no clear facts or evidence to back up his claims.

I have a vagina, therefore, I must like 50 Shades of Grey. Even though the leading female character is a total misrepresentation of women, and that the book encourages the idea that women want to be objectified and dominated.

She just probably didn’t feel like being harassed by you on her flight. Looks like your talking to women in public technique is working…

I’m hoping people will start to realize the flaw in this supposed dating technique, and it will be a passing trend, much like Pogs or gluten free diets.

Terris is a professional wordsmith (freelance writer) based in Vancouver, BC, Canada. You can read more of her work on her blog, or follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

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SSH will not publish any comment that is offensive or hateful and does not add to a thoughtful discussion of street harassment. Racism, homophobia, transphobia, disabalism, classism, and sexism will not be tolerated. Disclaimer: SSH may use any stories submitted to the blog in future scholarly publications on street harassment.
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