Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming
Today’s International Anti-Street Harassment Week tweet chat starts in 90 minutes and will be hosted by FAAN Mail & Women’s Media Center. It focuses on the connection between the sexualization of girls/women in the media and street harassment. Follow #EndSH and #SheParty
Word about International Anti-Street Harassment Week is spreading! Here are four articles from today:
“The issue of street harassment is directly connected with the issue of rape culture. “Street harassment is about exerting power over someone, treating them with disrespect, and it’s often about sexually objectifying someone without their consent. The same can be said about sexual violence and rape. Street harassment is on the same spectrum of violence as rape and it can sometime escalate into rape. For rape survivors, it can be re-triggering.
“The acceptance of street harassment, the portrayal of it as a compliment or a joke, creates a culture where it is normal to disrespect someone or to comment on them or to touch them without their consent. That culture helps make rape okay and lets rapists get away with their crime.”
“Public places are less safe for women and girls worldwide; street harassment and the fear of sexual violence negatively impact our mobility and our access to public spaces. Yet too often, street harassment is dismissed as being no big deal or a compliment.
To bring attention to the harms of street harassment, Stop Street Harassment organized the second annual International Anti-Street Harassment Week. Anyone anywhere can participate by sharing stories, having dialogue –especially with men – about street harassment issues, and visibly reclaiming public spaces and engaging community members.”
“On Monday, Hollaback! Baltimore lead a Twitter chat about street harassment experienced by LGBTQ and gender-non-conforming people, pointing out that though walking with your partner usually makes you safer if you`re a straight, cisgender woman, being in public with your partner if you`re queer or trans* often increases the chances that you`ll experience harassment. You can check out a Storify recap here.
Yesterday, Men Stopping Violence led another online discussion, this time about bystander responsibility and what men can to do unlearn the culture of silence and non-engagement surrounding street harassment. Check out a recap of what happened here.
These Twitter chats will continue throughout the week, and include discussions about how the objectification of women in the media relates to street harassment, the segregation of public spaces, and street harassment experienced on public transportation. The full schedule can be found here….
Erika Nicole Kendall has a powerful editorial on her blog about her history with street harassment, young motherhood, and reclaiming her safety as a black woman.
Over at the New York Times, Ginia Bellafante reports on police harassment experienced by trans* New Yorkers on the street.
Courtney Baxter’s grassroots street photography initiative is showcasing people’s experiences being queer in public to dismantle the culture of fear surrounding harassment and homophobia in public spaces.”
“Street harassment is most commonly thought of as a problem for women, but it doesn’t confine itself to one group, said Paridise Valentino, who works for the Trans Youth Support Network.
Valentino is a transgender woman and said she and others in the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community experience street harassment frequently.
When riding the bus, a man once yelled discriminatory comments about Valentino’s gender after she asked him why he was looking at her strangely.
“A lot of times when the LGBT community goes out and express themselves, it kind of brings a panic to society because they think we’re trying to rebel,” she said.
More than half of all transgender and gender non-conforming respondents reported being “verbally harassed or disrespected” in public in a 2011 National Center for Transgender Equality and National Gay and Lesbian Task Force report.
Because street harassment is common for members in the LGBT community, they’re not able to be themselves in public, Valentino said.
Katie Eichele, director of the Aurora Center for Advocacy and Education, said harassers often oppress people who are LGBT because they see them as a target to dehumanize.”
I have had several disturbing experiences with street harassment. My most recent experience is as follows:
Last week I was exercising at the track around the corner from my house. I noticed a man loitering around between where I was exercising and the public toilets close by me. He was there for a long while just watching. I didn’t think anything of it and walked home with my music turned up loud on my ipod. A few minutes after arriving home I decided to go to the store.
Outside, I noticed a couple of police cars but didn’t think anything of that either. As I neared the store, two police men walked toward me from a side street. They stopped me, telling me they were waiting for me to pass and needed to talk to me. They asked me, “Have you noticed the man following you?”
I responded that I had no idea and that I had my music on really loud. They asked, “Has a man approached you this morning?” and I said no, no one had.
They then proceeded to tell me that I must be extremely careful and alert all my friends that the man who was following me had been reported by several people, loitering around my house, and that he had been masturbating on the street.
It is frustrating to not feel safe doing a regular, everyday things like exercising and going to the store.
What’s even more frustrating is some of the reactions to my experience from some of my close guy friends. Things like, “I can’t believe the police caught me!!” or “I know I shouldn’t laugh but that’s hilarious!” or “If that were me I’d take it as a compliment” or “You must be flattered.” Are you kidding me? THERE IS NOTHING FUNNY OR FLATTERING ABOUT BEING FOLLOWED!
– Anonymous
Location: Sydney
Share your street harassment story!
By: Claire Biggs, SSH Correspondent
“No” is a complete sentence.
Sounds simple, right?
Already five hours in to our full force, full contact self-defense class, my classmates and I were feeling somewhat better about our personal safety skills.
I mean, that 6’3”, 250lb guy already wrapped his arm around my throat in a surprise chokehold and brought me to the ground, and I still managed to fight my way out of the situation. As far as I – and many of my classmates were concerned – whatever came next would be cake.
Our instructor repeated it again: “No” is a complete sentence.
When you think of street harassment, what comes to mind? For me, I remember that time I was out jogging and someone threw a beer bottle at me from his truck.
But what do you do when you’re faced with more than just a passing interaction? What do you say to the person who won’t get out of your face – or out of your way?
“No” isn’t the start of a negotiation; it’s the end of a discussion. It’s a pretty revolutionary thought, if you let yourself think about it.
My fellow self-defense classmates and I quickly realized that saying “No” and meaning it were two very different things.
I remember thinking it would be a relief to get a break from slamming my elbow repeatedly into my (heavily padded) assailant’s face and solar plexus. Thank goodness I won’t have to watch my new friends get grabbed from behind and pulled to the ground, kicking and screaming.
Turns out, it’s just as uncomfortable, if not more so, watching those friends try to choke out a forceful “No” while blinking back tears.
Our class ranged in age from mid-teens to mid-50s. Some of us were victims of sexual, physical, and verbal assaults, while some just wanted to get some practical self-defense training in case they were ever put in a similar situation. We were all strong, brave women ready to come to blows if it meant getting out of a situation safely.
But there are some situations where you have to resist the urge to deliver a well-placed knee to the groin. Sure, you’re uncomfortable as hell, maybe embarrassed or furious or scared, but you’re not going to escalate the situation first.
Your one objective is to deescalate the verbal assault before it becomes a physical assault. In those cases, when you’re shaking because the man approaching you is saying things that would make Olivia Benson shiver, you have to deliver a “No.”
It’s not a “No, sorry” or a “No, thanks.”
It’s a “No.” End of discussion.
It took us more than few tries each, but after a while, we all delivered powerful, secure “No’s” that let our male counterparts know that we weren’t interested. We stayed calm, maintained strong body language, and talked our way out of scary situations.
If they discounted our “No’s,” we found other ways to end the conversation. If you’re looking for some examples, you can find assertive responses here.
Practice in front of a mirror. Have your friends role-play scenarios with you. Deliver your “No” with confidence.
Believe that it’s the end of the discussion and don’t let anyone discount it.
“No is a complete sentence.”
Remember that.
Claire Biggs spends her days writing for MTV. Her (very late) nights are spent tweeting about women’s rights and, among other things, her love of Twitter. You can find her there @ClaireMBiggs.
We’re wrapping up Day 3 of International Anti-Street Harassment Week. The days have been packed with events, social media, articles, and story sharing. Thank you for what you’re doing!
Here are a few updates:
1. More events were added today. See if there’s something in your area. If not, start something! There’s still time to get a few friends together to put up flyers or write sidewalk chalk messages — most of the week’s activities will take place Saturday!
2. Photos from activities can be found in this album (aren’t they inspiring?!). If you’re hosting an event, please send me a link to your album of photos or send me photos directly. And please, do take photos! Even if you just put up a flyer on a community bulletin board, take a photo of that & send it to me!
3. Tweet Chats are going really well! Here is the Storify from the Male Ally Tweet Chat today!
4/11, join @breakthrough, @Bell_bajao & @blank_noise for a 12 hr tweetchat about #streetharassment, segregation in public spaces #EndSH
4/12, join @EverydaySexism for a convo about #streetharassment on public transportation. #endsh
4. Media Coverage is growing. Here is a list so far, including a HuffPost Live segment that happened this evening.
5. Free Webinar will be hosted by METRAC tomorrow on preventing street harassment, 12 p.m. EST. Registration info.