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Archives for April 2013

The F-Word: When is a compliment not a compliment?

April 15, 2013 By Contributor

This article is by Eve Livingston, a college student in Edinburgh, and is cross-posted with permission from Nanu Edinburgh.

“To understand a man”, said somebody wise once, “you must first walk a mile in his shoes.. It’s a proverb widely reused across popular culture, and often mis-attributed to To Kill A Mockingbird’s resident moral compass Atticus Finch who in actual fact talked of how “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view – until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” It’s a nice idea, and one that more people should employ in their day-to-day lives – try to see things from other points of view, but acknowledge that nobody can truly understand the problems facing someone but that person him/herself. It is in fact an idea that has much to contribute to feminist discussions of male privilege and intersectionality (the notion that all types of oppression are interconnected and can’t be examined in isolation from each other). Oh Atticus Finch, you feminist icon, you.

It’s no coincidence, though, that these classic lines are gendered in favour of men. Too often the world has worn the shoes of its male inhabitants, with the result that ‘women’s issues’ are frequently dismissed because of their invisibility to those who write the papers and the policy, those who run boardrooms and bars alike. One such issue is that of street harassment, and it’s one that International Anti Street-Harassment Week, which ended yesterday, has attempted to address. When taking street harassment generally to refer to any unwanted verbal or physical attention in a public place, 99% of women over 13 report having experienced it – and yet too often they’re met with disdain as to why they’ve over-reacted to a compliment, or the hilaaaarious joke that us lads would love it if more women pinched us on the bum in nightclubs, ho ho ho.

And maybe you would. Because street harassment is itself symbolic of a wider power relation in which men dominate and control public space. It would be totally out of order (not to mention out of character) for me to smack a man’s bum in the street, but it’s unlikely to evoke the same level of intimidation and panic for him as it does for the 14-year-old girl being followed home from school, or the woman leaving a bar alone with her heart rate raised as she clocks the men standing in a doorway, or the student who’s scared to wait for the bus because of the men in the bus stop making lewd comments. In fact, I’d probably be called a slag or a whore were I to engage in the street harassment behaviour that women experience every day. It is, of course, another signifier that men run the show when it comes to sex. They’re the ones with the desires that just can’t be suppressed and find their outlet in a wolf whistle or a sleazy comment while women find themselves the passive recipients, labelled a slut if they do and a slut if they don’t.

And street harassment doesn’t just refer to these wolfwhistles or sleazy comments. You only need to glance over Everyday Sexism’s #shoutingback hashtag, or the official Anti-Street Harassment Week one #EndSH to see that behaviours we might view as extreme are actually commonplace; women being followed is a common theme, as is the threat of violence. Far too many women report men exposing themselves and often even pleasuring themselves in front of them. Transport is a place full of potential dangers. Going for a jog isn’t safe either. Don’t even mention nightclubs or offices. Young girls aren’t free from harassment, just as harassers start young with women reporting obscene comments from groups of boys as young as 12. It doesn’t matter if they think you’re attractive or not; sometimes you’ll get sexual orders yelled at you, sometimes you’ll be called ‘an ugly dyke’ or laughed at. There is no place in the public sphere safe from harassment, and so street harassment is not a non-issue unless you’re totally fine with women staying indoors all day too afraid to leave. What is there to see outside anyway? Nothing the menfolk can’t deal with.

That men feel entitled to women’s bodies doesn’t bode well in the age of Steubenville and the New Delhi rape. That boys as young as 12 have a sense of male privilege where the sole purpose of women is for their sexual satisfaction doesn’t bode well in a culture where we routinely blame and ostracise women for their rape, while letting perpetrators off on the basis of their victims’ heel height or blood alcohol level. As long as you think that rape and sexual assault are issues, street harassment can’t be invisible. It’s the ugly undercurrent of patriarchy. It is at once a root and a symptom of rape culture.

There’s a misguided idea that it’s difficult for a man to compliment a woman without her getting on her high horse and slapping his hand away, god forbid he should speak to her like that. I’d like to counter that with the somewhat revolutionary suggestion that women, like men, are just human beings. Compliments are good, we like them too. The dictionary definition of ‘compliment’ refers to ‘politeness’. Compliment away! Some of us go out looking for compliments. Some of us go out looking for sex, much like some men do. Feel free to indulge us. The same social cues that apply to men actually apply to us too; if a man isn’t receptive and doesn’t engage with you, you probably leave him alone, right? I hope you’re catching on by now; treat women like human beings with the same respect afforded to anyone else and you’ll be just dandy. If you’re still stuck: when is a compliment not a compliment? When it’s a threat or a statement of intent.

So maybe it’s about time for minimisers of street harassment to walk a mile in a woman’s shoes, or climb into her skin and walk around inside it. See how it feels for every public space to be a potential warzone; for your workplace or place of education to be intimidating, for a night out to turn sour, for your daily run to be punctuated with shouts and whistles. For you to ignore it all only for the perpetrator to turn nasty, and sometimes physically aggressive. For you to be blamed when this is the case, because you were inviting the attention, or giving attitude in the face of a compliment. Walk a mile in a woman’s shoes, or climb into her skin and walk around inside it for you to see that it makes no difference whether the shoes are high or flat, sparkly or plain. That it doesn’t matter if the skin is covered up or on display. Women will continue to receive this unwanted attention no matter what we look like or what we’re wearing, and we’ll continue to be blamed for it. As long as this remains the case, street harassment has to be an issue for everyone. The world has long been overdue a new pair of shoes.

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Filed Under: anti-street harassment week, street harassment

USA: Boston’s Anti-Street Harassment Chalk Walk

April 15, 2013 By Correspondent

Boston

By Natasha Vianna, SSH Correspondent

On Saturday, I joined Hollaback! Boston for an International Anti-Street Harassment Week chalk walk at the Christopher Columbus Park. As we all happily chalked messages to passersby, a couple stopped in front of our chalk designs and began a conversation:

Woman: reading the chalk “Hey baby is no way to say hello.”

Man: Haha. What is this?

Woman: An anti-street harassment campaign, I guess.

Man: What for?

Woman: To stop street harassment.

Man: I’ve never been harassed on the street.

Woman: I think that’s the point. Women are harassed on the street and most men don’t realize that they’re either the harasser or that they just never have to deal with harassment.

Natasha

As I knelt on the ground with chalk in my hand, writing phrases and sharing experiences with the sidewalk, these very moments made me smile from ear-to-ear. Our goal was to spark conversation and stimulate dialogue while sharing tidbits of information in a positive and non-traditional way. Needless to say, it worked amazingly well.

A few people stopped to ask questions, some tourists picked up a piece of chalk and joined us, while others read silently, smiled, and kept walking. It was an amazing feeling when young girls and women of all ages stopped to read and felt compelled to smile and take pictures.

The message was sent and received.

Natasha Vianna, a fearless activist and young feminist, is a freelance writer and blogger based out of Boston, MA. Follow her on twitter!

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Filed Under: anti-street harassment week, correspondents, Stories, street harassment

#EndSHWeek: Thank You!

April 15, 2013 By HKearl

Thank you for making International Anti-Street Harassment Week 2013 bigger than ever!

This Week Mattered!

This was an incredible week of awareness, as a visit to the photo album and the media page or #EndSHWeek or #EndSH threads on twitter will attest. Around 150 groups from more than 20 countries and 6 continents participated.

It was amazing to see:

* UN Women tweet about the week.
* Great articles about the week/issue on BuzzFeed and the Washington Post.
* UpWorthy post about Hollaback Philly’s new SEPTA ad to their millions of followers.
* The Harry Potter Alliance speak out against street harassment
* A city council woman in New York City lead a rally.
* People around the world, from Australia and Zimbabwe, to Yemen and Peru, to Belgium and Bangladesh, take to the streets to bring attention to this issue and engage their community to discuss what needs to change to stop street harassment.

Since launching Stop Street Harassment five years ago, there has been a significant shift in the number of people who acknowledge street harassment as a legitimate problem and are willing to do something about it. Awareness campaigns like International Anti-Street Harassment Week contribute to that continuing shift. Your voice matters, you’re making a difference.

Thank YOU!

In reviewing all that took place and the tens of thousands of people who were impacted by the messages, I am filled with gratitude and awe.

This week would not be possible without many volunteers, helpers, leaders, and people who care about making public places safer for everyone!

* Thanks to the approximately 150 groups, organizations and campuses that took some form of action to bring attention to this social problem that is too often invisible or dismissed as being no big deal. This includes thank you’s to the groups that led the five very successful tweet chats: Hollaback Bmore, Fem2pt0, Men Stopping Violence, FAAN Mail, Women’s Media Center, Breakthrough, Blank Noise, and Everyday Sexism.

* Thank you, Nuala Cabral (co-founder of FAAN Mail and a SSH board member) for being a key leader in planning and carrying out the week.

* Thank you, Laura Palumbo at the National Sexual Violence Resource Center who, when I met with her and her colleagues last summer, welcomed the idea of having the week fall during Sexual Assault Awareness Month and helped advertise the week to their networks.

* Thank you, SSH social media volunteers and SSH correspondents for your help spreading the word about the week and participating in it.

* Thank you, translation volunteers, media relations volunteer Katie Broendel, and graphic designer Alli VanKanegan who created great fliers for the week.

* Thank you, Zerlina Maxwell for writing a compelling article for Ebony Magazine about the connection between street harassment and sexual violence, facilitating my guest blog post on Feministing.com, and taking to Twitter a few times to generate lots conversations about street harassment among your many followers. (Note: She was nearly the only person who responded to the more than 100 pitches I sent out about the week.)

* Thank you to my partner Mark for not minding too much that I stayed glued to my computer or phone nearly every moment I was at home last week and thank you to my parents for participating and also for their encouragement throughout the week.

There were so many more tremendous individuals and groups who used their platforms/networks to spread the word and help organize events and online actions. Thank you!

Next Steps?

1. If you haven’t already, report back on what you did for the week.

2. There are two weeks left of Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Find ideas for what you can do.

3. There will continue to be many outreach and anti-harassment initiatives led by local groups and other international organizations, so participate in their efforts!

4. For Stop Street Harassment, our next big focus will be continuing to fund-raise to be able to conduct the first large-scale national study on street harassment in the United States and doing the prep work to be able to launch a Know Your Rights Toolkit and helpline.

Please donate to help us with our work. You can also sign up for the monthly e-newsletter.

Thank You Again,

Holly Kearl, Founder of Stop Street Harassment & International Anti-Street Harassment Week

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Filed Under: anti-street harassment week, street harassment

#EndSHWeek Tweet Chats

April 15, 2013 By HKearl

If you missed the great International Anti-Street Harassment Week tweet chats, have no fear, we Storified them!

4/8/13: Street harassment of LGBQT individuals tweet chat, led by @fem2pt0, @hollabackbmore & @patrickryne

4/9/13: Male ally tweet chat led by @MenStopViolence

4/10/13: Sexualization of girls/women in the media tweet chat led by @FAANmail, @Womensmediacntr (pending)

4/11/13: Sex segregation in public spaces tweet chat led by @bell_Bajao and @blank_noise

4/12/13: Harassment on public transportation (& elsewhere) tweet chat led by @everydaysexism

 

Also, you can view the METRAC webinar on preventing street harassment that took place on April 10.

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Filed Under: anti-street harassment week

“I remember feeling angry and scared”

April 14, 2013 By Contributor

I was walking up the stairs in the metro station towards the exit. It was a busy station and the stairs were crowded. I was 22 and wearing tight jeans. A guy behind me put his hand between my legs, with the back of his hand against my crotch and slid it towards my bum. He did it so quickly, running up the stairs ahead of me, that I didn’t even have time to react. He turned his head towards me just before he got out of the stairs. I didn’t know how to respond so I just gave him a death stare. He said “What?” and walked off.

I remember feeling utterly disgusted and soiled by the gesture and scared that he could have done that in such a public space without anyone noticing or reacting. I was really shaken. But mostly I remember feeling angry and scared because I had been completely unable to react or to do anything about it. It was then that I got the idea to take self-defense lessons.

– Anonymous

Location: Paris, France

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

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