Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

Archives for May 2013

“I just wish decent men like that would publicly call out the harasser”

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As I passed two guys on the sidewalk, one started to shout, “Giddy up!” repeatedly. I found it really unpleasant, but I didn’t say anything at the time.

A little later, I was walking back that way and I asked the man whether he’d been shouting that at me. He had, but said he was “only joking”, which is a pathetic excuse, but he also said twice that he was “really sorry”. I was pleased to think he’d realized that it had been unpleasant for me—but that was just wishful thinking on my part, as he followed up the second apology almost immediately by asking, “Can I have a kiss?”

I was furious and swore at him as I walked off, but he just kept on screaming, “Can I have a kiss?” after me, over and over again. Once I was about half a block away he resorted to ear-piercing whistles instead.

Another guy, walking by me, remarked that I shouldn’t take any notice of him, that he was just a jerk. It wasn’t the ideal response, but I still appreciated the sentiment. I just wish decent men like that would publicly call out the harasser instead.

I’m 35 years old and 6’1″, and I’ve been cat called with varying frequency for 20 or so years, but these very explicit exercises of male power over me still make me feel intensely frustrated, unsettled, and belittled. I so wish there was something, anything I could do in the moment that would shift the power dynamic in these situations, so that I wasn’t left feeling so damn powerless.

– Monique

Location: 110th St. and Lexington Ave., New York, NY

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“They need to change their ways, not me.”

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Photo by the author of the post.

I would love to get home from work in peace. Today I walked to bus stop, and this man was standing right in the middle of the path that I usually take, ranting and raving while smoking a cigarette. I was having an out of sorts day and I didn’t want to engage him. I originally considered walking all away around and out of my way to get to the bus stop, but I shouldn’t have to inconvenience myself. So I steeled myself and walked past him while he was rambling on about junk to his friends.

The bus finally came after about 10 minutes, and as I went to board it I hear, “‘Scuse me, sweetie! Psst! You dropped something! You dropped something!” He would not stop saying “You dropped something!”, but I knew I didn’t. All my things were accounted for. The “You dropped something!” crap is the oldest harasser trick in the book. Had I really dropped something, he would’ve specified what it was. I chose to ignore him.

“You dropped something…your behind!” he said, and he and his friends started laughing. I dropped my behind?! That makes no damn sense. I knew that it was a ploy to get my attention and was glad I trusted my instincts.

I boarded the bus, but I didn’t want to leave the scene without calling him out. I opened the window, and yelled, “HEY, THE GUY WHO SAID I DROPPED SOMETHING? STOP HARASSING WOMEN!” I then snapped his photo.

He and his friends just laughed, and the guy bent over and shook his butt at me. Ew. That was something that I did not want to get a shot of.

I then took another photo, and yelled, “STOP HARASSING WOMEN! SHOW SOME RESPECT!” I closed the window, and the bus drove off.

I had a previous incident with street harassment in the same location (story here), but I’m not sure if these were the same people involved. This area tends to attract sketchy men who don’t know how to leave women alone, but their presence won’t make me change where I take the bus. They need to change their ways, not me.

The guy standing in the blue shirt is the harasser, and sad to say, one of his friends being entertained by his antics is a woman. I wonder how she’d feel if she were the recipient of unwanted attention, but of course it’s funny to her because she’s not the target of it at the moment! Sigh.

– Anonymous

Location: McPherson Square (Washington, DC)

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“I have been a victim of this for a very long time”

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I have been a victim of this for a very long time. I have had to leave town only to have this issue follow me. I have had guys to yell out very explicit things to me and call me derogatory names. I’ve had them invade my personal space and make kissing noises and when I told them to go away they wouldn’t. They just would continue and the public doesn’t respond to it very well. The police also don’t take it seriously.

– Anonymous

Location: on the bus, standing at a bus stop, walking down the streets

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London Art Student’s Work, “Give Us a Smile Love”

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UPDATE 5/30: Yesterday I posted this image at Goldsmiths, University of London that someone tweeted at me and I had believed it was promoting street harassment.

Today I found out it is a student’s piece of art “exploring the problem of street harassment,” and thus, of course, I feel totally different about it. Art is a great conversation starter on this topic and it is often an effective way to raise awareness. Now, I am waiting to learn more about this particular piece of art, such as if there is information posted nearby about street harassment or more context for the piece.

I apologize for the misunderstanding.

 

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4 Exciting New Programs and Initiatives

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Mark and I during an Our Streets Too March in Washington, D.C., June 2011

Five Year Anniversary – See How We’ve Grown

Five years ago this week, I launched the Stop Street Harassment (SSH) website and blog to fill the void left when two of the anti-harassment websites I studied for my master’s thesis went inactive or disappeared. My significant other Mark is the one who had the idea and encouraged me to go for it. I had no idea how to run a blog and I barely updated it during its first year. But, I knew this was an important topic, and slowly, the site grew.

Since May 2008, there have been 2,100 articles and stories published on the blog, we’re a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization, and we have 15 blog correspondents, 9 board members, 6 social media volunteers, and soon, our first summer intern.

4 Exciting New Programs and Initiatives
Part of our continued growth is the creation of new programs and initiatives, including:

1. Safe Public Spaces Mentoring Program PILOT: People and groups in the USA can propose a project idea that addresses gender-based street harassment in their community. Selected projects will receive in-depth mentoring for up to three months, up to $250 to offset expenses, and other benefits. Learn more.

*Applications are available as of TODAY!*

2. Stopping Companies that Trivialize Street Harassment: This month we launched an on-going list of companies that have ads or products that treat street harassment like a joke or compliment. Already, in collaboration with groups like Collective Action for Safe Spaces, SSH was instrumental in pressuring Lego, Bare Escentuals, and Skirt Sports to drop offensive products, marketing, or messaging. Let me know when you see a company that should be on the list.

3. Documenting Street Harassment in the United States: SSH is fundraising to be able to conduct the first-ever national study on street harassment in the United States (donate here). To supplement the 2,000-person survey, we’re conducting focus groups across the country. In June, we will conduct ones in New York City and New Orleans. When possible, we hold them in collaboration with the Harlow Project. If you want a focus group conducted in your area, let me know.

4. Know Your Rights Toolkit: SSH’s summer intern will produce a toolkit detailing the laws and city ordinances that are relevant to street harassment (including indecent exposure and groping), how to report these crimes, and what strategies you can use to strengthen the laws.

Support Our Expansion!
There are three ways you can help support our growth.

1. Make a direct, tax-deductible donation.
2. Bid on the great 15 items available in our online auction (it closes this weekend).
3. If you’re in Washington, D.C., attend our happy hour fundraiser and awards ceremony on June 5.

Thank You
THANK YOU for your support and for believing in us! As you can see, with your help, we’re continuing to expand faster than ever and we can’t wait to see what the next five years bring!

-Holly Kearl
SSH Founder

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