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Archives for June 2013

Colombia: Violence and abuse

June 29, 2013 By Correspondent

By: Adriana Pérez-Rodríguez, SSH Correspondent

The well-known black feminist, bell hooks, argues that the first act of violence men, living in a patriarchal system, must commit is not violence against women but against themselves by emotionally crippling themselves and so, when achieving it, they can then start abusing women. By doing so, men will be fulfilling gender roles about masculinity which and will be able to socially position themselves as individuals.

Seems to be then, that patriarchy is intrinsically based on violence, defining every aspect of our everyday lives and not only affecting us as women but also affecting men and the ways they are constructed. It is important to keep this in mind because when we tend to think of violence we imagine domestic violence or rape scenes in our heads, ignoring underlying logics. Violence is more than beatings and battering, violence is also the act of thinking our bodies belong to someone else and that can be appropriated at any time by words and language. Based on this logic, an act of clear cut violence is committed against women every time they encounter sexual harassment in the streets because the underlying premise is the male and patriarchal authority over our bodies, acting as reminders that we can be accessed against our will. Beatings and rape, in this case, would only be the ending and most dreadful results of this chain of violence reproduced daily by language, looks and images –glorifying violence against women- whenever we enter the public sphere.

Hence, street harassment becomes a wider issue that involves us all as opposed to the idea of it being a women’s issue because, for women to be thought as accessible, male socialisation, as hooks said, must be filled with violent ideas of how they must behave and socialise. Boys from very early ages internalise ideas they must behave as predators and that their character is that of rapist that doesn’t have control over himself. Thus, women must protect themselves from them. By changing how we view this issue and realising it’s not just a women’s one, we will be able to analyse how our society is organized under principles of violence which also affect boys and men, obviously not with the same dimensions, but that barely go noticed as they are left in a privileged position.

This is revealing because men will have to also start confronting those principles under which our societies are organized and by which they are privileged social subjects. By becoming conscientious of their social position and why they are there, they can start politicising reality and joining women in the struggle against patriarchy. This isn’t easy, of course, it’s hard to confront our privileges and realise why we have. This, however, cannot be an excuse but an encouragement: they also make part of society, so they must also join the struggle. One last thing though: before waiving the flags against patriarchy and the abuse women encounter daily, think about how you, as a guy, reproduce these logics of violence over their bodies. It isn’t easy, it’s a hard and even painful process, also because most of the times these logics are reproduced without even directly thinking about them, but it isn’t a good start, it is the start.

Adriana is a Colombian national who’s passionate about all topics concerning social justice, especially gender-based justice.

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Filed Under: correspondents

“Is this conversation ok?”

June 29, 2013 By Contributor

I need your help! I was just at a CVS in line and the guy behind me said to the woman in front of me, “Has anyone ever called you Peg?” and she looked at him and paused. I guess this woman looks like an actress with the name of Peg from a TV show (that I am not familiar with). He went on saying something like, “She’s the one on that show….”. The woman, still hesitant (maybe she really was the actress in question, she had on her sunglasses!) said something to acknowledge that she knew of the actress and that yes, in fact, people had asked her this question. He came back (and here is where I need your help) with, “Well I mean that as a compliment, because I think she is HO-OT!”

The woman had completed her check out and didn’t say much and just moved on out the door.

Ugh. I was tongue-tied, but felt badly. I wondered if I should have said something to the woman, like, “Is this conversation ok? Would you rather not be the object of this guy’s fantasies?” of course loudly. I didn’t. Maybe because I’m pretty low key and whenever I’ve made a scene it always seems to backfire on me. But maybe I should have….

– Alan

Location: West Palm Beach, FL

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“As if my value as a human being is based solely on my appearance”

June 29, 2013 By Contributor

This just happened a few minutes ago. I was walking to the store to pick up some groceries. It’s exactly one block from my apartment. I live near Pike Place Market. I managed to make it exactly half a block when I made the mistake of looking both ways when near a busy-ish parking garage. A man, who I only got a glance at noticed me and started with the smile routine. When I ignored him he escalated saying things along the lines of me “wasting” my looks, that some day they’ll go away (as if my value as a human being is based solely on my appearance), and when I continued to ignore him started ranting about it to people passing by. I managed to go into the store without the creep following me. It took sooooo much effort not to lose my temper. I often feel that I have to wear headphones in order to be left alone, and sometimes that doesn’t work.

– H.M.

Location: Seattle, WA

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

The Street Her-Ass-Men Song

June 28, 2013 By HKearl

Awesome Virginia high school student Julia Romero wrote a song about street harassment for an English class project this year. She sent it to me and has given me permission to share it with all of you!

She answered a few questions for me about her project and then the lyrics are pasted below that.

Thanks for your great work, Julia, and for using humor and your musical talents to bring more attention to the widespread problem of street harassment!

INTERVIEW:

SSH: What inspired you to write a song about street harassment?

Julia: For starters, I didn’t really know what street harassment was. After researching it, I realized that this topic wasn’t really going to be as well liked as other projects. My school, Central High School, isn’t in my opinion as well educated on this topic of harassment. I wanted to make my project educational but also more appealing to the fellow students. I thought a funny song was the way to do it. I wanted to give my peers more then the typical don’t street harass preaching.

SSH: What kind of responses have you gotten from people who’ve heard your song?

Julia: When I sang my song for the class, it was very interesting. As I was going up to sing people were quiet as if waiting for me. It was funny. I think they were expecting more of a lecturing song. When they realized it was a funny and not a hymn, they opened up and laughed. Afterwards, they began to ask me questions and most didn’t even know of the topic. The boys might have been a bit defensive but all in all, the song was a success.

SSH: What suggestions would you have for people your age who want to do something about street harassment, too?

Julia: I would suggest people my age to become more educated on harassment. Knowledge is something that is lacking. For those who want to do something about it, have courage! Listen to the annoying voice in your head pushing you to do something! Just go for it! Stand up for others and educate as you go. Contact female activists! Asking for help is never a crime.

LYRICS:

The Street Her-Ass-Men Song

Written By: Julia Romero

 

Male Perspective: Verse 1

Hey Baby

Nice Booty

I would tap dat all day long

Good morning sexy

I like your body

Be cat calling you from my car

 

Male Perspective: Pre-Chorus

Cuz you got it going on

And I’m turning oh so on

Girl you make me feel like I’m in control of you

But what you probably don’t know

If you ignore me little ho

Then I’ll dare put my hands on you

Don’t stand a chance against me

 

Chorus

Street Her-Ass-Men are real

You need to be prepared

Know what’s out there

You need to care

No matter if you’re black, tan or white

Whether you’re rich or not quite

You need to care

You need to be aware

 

Female Perspective: Verse 2

He just talked to me said

Girl, you got a nice booty

And I kind of felt flattered

I guess I needed the boost

But then he

Stayed right there

I guess I didn’t really want here

Just shake off the feeling

He will leave

 

Female Perspective: Pre-Chorus

Where’s my daddy where’s my bro

Did he just call me a ho

Boy you make me feel like I’m in danger

I thought just a comment couldn’t hurt

But why do I feel like such dirt

Please just stay away but hey

What are you doing touching my legs

 

Chorus

Street Her-Ass-Men are real

You need to be prepared

Know what’s out there

You need to care

No matter if you’re black, tan or white

Whether you’re rich or not quite

You need to care

You need to be aware

 

Female Perspective: Bridge

You see a comment can lead

To a lot of other things

So if you like random guys

Coming up and treating you to flattery

Wake up to reality

Fight against brutality

Stop future fatality

Of street her-ass-men

 

You need to be aware

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Filed Under: Activist Interviews, Resources, street harassment

“He was still shouting it and staring at me”

June 27, 2013 By Contributor

This afternoon, I was with the little 2-year-old I nanny for. I had pulled the stroller over to the side of the footpath and I was giving her some apple. We were on a nice street in a nice, posh neighbourhood. I saw in my side vision, a man walking towards me and past me but I didn’t look at him on purpose because he was shouting, “Hi bitch! Hi bitch!” over and over again.

When he had continued walking down the road, (still shouting it), I turned and he was walking backwards watching me and shouting. When I caught his eye and he saw I had looked at him, he gave me ‘the finger’ and kept shouting “hi bitch!”

He was shouting it so loudly that women started coming out of shops and buildings to see what was going on. Since I was really the only person there they asked me what was happening and I said, “Apparently he’s talking to me.”

He was still shouting it and staring at me and giving me the finger, and all the women said, “Oh, okay” and went back into their buildings.

I just walked away…

– Anonymous

Location: on a street in Paris, France

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

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