Just a warning that I won’t censor what was said to me by the man who recently harassed me – I trust you understand that I’m including the specifics of what he said to convey the whole experience.
This past Saturday night I was walking with my boyfriend to a local restaurant/bar for a casual date. While crossing the street, a car coming from the other side of the inner-section slowed down to let us cross. As they started to approach us, however, the driver cat called at me. I immediately flicked him the bird, as I often do in these situations, but also noticed that he was a pretty large and muscular guy (he was driving a Jeep Wrangler with the doors off). Just as I thought they had passed behind us, he yelled back, “I’LL COME IN YOUR A**, B*TCH!” and drove off in the opposite direction of my boyfriend and me.
I have to admit, I was a little bit shaken by such an aggressive comment, but other people walking near-by had heard it and I didn’t want to seem like I would let someone as disgusting as that man bother me. My boyfriend asked me if I was ok and acknowledged that what had just happened was certainly not ok, but taking my cue, didn’t dwell on the incident. Even though I knew I wasn’t at fault and I had nothing to be ashamed of, I somehow still felt slightly embarrassed. I didn’t worry much about having flicked him off, as it was something I’d had to do several times before, and because he had driven off in a totally different direction.
A couple of blocks past that inner-section, on a street that wasn’t nearly as well lit and without any other pedestrians, however, we were confronted again. The driver and his passenger had looped back through the area and followed us. He slowed his car and yelled at me again: “What you wanna do with that finger, b*itch!?” In an attempt to stand my ground, I immediately chirped back “F*ck off!”, thinking he would continue driving. My boyfriend, a much more calm individual, was taking the scene in and thankfully on much higher alert. Just as I told the guy to f-off, he stopped his car, only a few yards in front of us, got out, and started to approach us. We were alone on a dark stretch of the street, with nobody else around, and in slight disbelief that he had come back around to confront us.
We immediately turned around and began quickly walking/running in the other direction and into the closest bar/restaurant/anywhere with other people, that we could find. It was a really frightening experience that left me angrier and more frustrated with street harassment than I had ever been before.
I don’t know what would have happened if I had been alone, and I don’t even want to think about it. It was scary to see how intent this man was on showing his power, his dominance, his strength over me and my boyfriend, by threatening me/us with rape and violence. It’s infuriating to feel like I couldn’t even stand up for myself. Would he have left us alone if I hadn’t acknowledged his cat call in the first place?
Nobody should have to remain silent and endure harassment for fear of further verbal or physical attacks.
– MT
Location: Canton, Baltimore, MD
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