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Finding a new ally

June 17, 2013 By HKearl

UPDATE: The person mentioned in the blog post below that I wrote yesterday ended up reading it and I am happy to say I misunderstood her response. She grew up in that area and faced street harassment and laughed because she couldn’t believe I was only walking alone for a few minutes before I was harassed. She apologized for how her response came across and said, “I understand why you continue to fight this cause and I am proud to see you stand up for others to make a change.”

And for me, her response makes all the difference!!! I am glad to have one more ally in this work to make public places safer for everyone.

Normally, I try to be a bit detached and objective when I write on this blog, but today I’m mad and hurt and that is going to come out in this post, I’m sure. I know a lot of people appreciate being able to share a story on this blog and find validation for their experiences, and that is what I’m doing today, too.

I was in Tennessee this weekend with my domestic partner for his grandpa’s 90th birthday. We had our dogs with us on the trip and before our long drive home, I took the dogs for a walk.

Within two minutes, a car full of guys yelled out the window, “Yeah, baby” at me. I looked up and just got a glimpse of white skin as they drove away. I didn’t get a chance to say a word. Not a minute later, another group of guys in a car drove toward me and I saw the passenger rolling down his window. They were gone before he could say anything.

Right then my partner texted me to see how we were doing and I told him I just got street harassed. He was worried and asked if I was okay. I said yes I was fine, just angry and I wasn’t going to let these harassers dictate where I walked.

So my dogs and I carried on. I tweeted what had happened and got some nice/supportive tweets back. Thankfully, I didn’t hear/see any other harassers during our walk.

The story doesn’t end there.

Later, someone in my my partner’s family came up to me. Laughing, she said, “I heard some rednecks yelled, ‘Yeah Baby,’ at you earlier.”

Going stiff, I said, “I don’t know if they were ‘rednecks,’ but yes, I was street harassed today.” I felt offended. I would hope that had it been a more severe form of street harassment, she wouldn’t have laughed, but I don’t know.

It is hurtful and astounding to me that any woman could be so callous about this issue and would actually laugh after finding out I was street harassed. I am still really upset 24 hours later.

My experience yesterday reminds me just how much work there is to do, including in my own family network, to make people aware of why this issue matters and why we, as a society, need to do something.

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SSH will not publish any comment that is offensive or hateful and does not add to a thoughtful discussion of street harassment. Racism, homophobia, transphobia, disabalism, classism, and sexism will not be tolerated. Disclaimer: SSH may use any stories submitted to the blog in future scholarly publications on street harassment.
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