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Archives for June 2013

“C’mon baby, let’s go back for more!”

June 26, 2013 By Contributor

I smile when I’m embarrassed. It’s like laughing when your tickled, it’s not *funny*, it’s just a reaction.

I was stopped at a stoplight, eating some fries from the drive through with the windows down, and a car of three men pulled up along side me. “Hey baby! Didya buy me some? Would you like me to buy you some more?”

The embarrassed smile shows up and my face burns. I don’t respond and face forward.

“C’mon baby, let’s go back for more!”

I feel like my smile is giving him permission to continue, and I can’t reach the passenger side crank to roll up the window (yeah, old school).

Longest red light ever. I was a block from the laundromat I was going to, and I felt the need to make sure my car wasn’t very visible from the main road, in case they decided to stop if they saw it.

I felt ashamed that all I did was smile and blush. I couldn’t help myself, but it seems like consent to them.

– Anonymous

Location: Appleton, WI

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

Two women attack gay man at pizzeria in DC

June 26, 2013 By HKearl

Trigger Warning

Over the weekend, Miles DeNiro, a gay man, was at a a Washington, D.C. pizzeria after a drag performance at the Black Cat. Two women approached him and harassed him, calling him slurs like “tranny” and “faggot” and then attacked him. This is unacceptable!

Image via Queerty

What’s also unacceptable is that several bystanders stood by cheering the women on and some even filmed the incident and posted it on sites like YouTube, before it was taken down for having offensive content.

Via the Washington Blade:

““There were five or six workers behind the counter or in the kitchen area and none of them did anything to stop it,” DeNiro said.

The assault ended, according to DeNiro, when two men walked into the restaurant from the sidewalk and pulled the two women away from him.

“I don’t know who they are but they appeared to have seen what was happening through the window and came in to help,” he said.

DeNiro said two friends who were with him drove him home. He said he chose not to call police at the time of the incident but reported the attack to police Monday afternoon at the Third Police District at 17th and V Street, N.W.”

Police are investigating the incident and it’s expected they will treat it as a hate crime.

As a society, as a community, we need to do more to be respectful and to stand up for human rights!

After the attack, DeNiro, who is white, tweeted messages about it and used racial slurs to describe the women of color who attacked him. He later deleted them and apologized.

This is such a very real example of how we each have some privileges but not others (e.g. he had race privilege but not sexual orientation/gender expression privilege) and how we need to try hard not to oppress others or discriminate against them, including not while standing up for our rights and working to end the discrimination we face.

H/T Collective Action for Safe Spaces

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Filed Under: LGBTQ, News stories

Documentary: “Smile for Me, Baby”

June 26, 2013 By HKearl

Cecilia Wachter just finished her first-ever documentary… and it’s about street harassment!

Check it out:

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Filed Under: Resources, street harassment

New Study: Sexual harassment on vacation

June 26, 2013 By HKearl

A downside to traveling anywhere is the potential to face street harassment and unwanted sexual invitations.

To discover just how prevalent this is, a team of researchers led by the European Institute of Studies on Prevention (Irefrea) surveyed 6,502 British and German people ages 16-35 in different airports across southern Europe (Crete, Cyprus, Italy, Portugal and Spain). The people they surveyed had just visited tourist hotspots in these countries in summer 2009 and were returning home.

Via Science World Report:

“The results of the study show that 8.6% of people suffered sexual harassment during their holidays and 1.5% suffered sex against their will. ‘2.4 times as many women as heterosexual men claimed to have suffered from sexual harassment. However, gay and bisexual men showed similar levels to women and high levels of sex against their will,’ the expert notes.”

One of the researchers said. “The first preventive measure is to be aware that these problems exist, since we tend to always think positively about holidays. There are measures that depend on tourist destinations, which are often promoted as places with a high level of sexual permissiveness and advertise cheap alcohol. The venues themselves can also avoid these situations by adopting good management in accordance with already established standards.”

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Filed Under: LGBTQ, News stories, Resources, street harassment

Recap of recent street harassment news – late June edition

June 26, 2013 By HKearl

Other project have kept me from blogging about the street harassment-related news that’s come through in the past week or so, so here’s a short recap  —

* How to approach women: On the website, “Yo, I’m just saying” men can learn when it’s okay to physically stop a woman on the street (e.g. they’re lost and need directions or someone needs medical attention) and when it’s not.

* Street harassment and male entitlement: She Does the City wrote, “Walking the Streets: Space, Masculinity and Street Harassment“: “Many males roam the streets at any time of day or night feeling a sense of entitlement to that space and the bodies within it. If a woman were to act in this same way, she’d be “setting herself up for harassment,” because her body, as female, is not entitled to such space or such ownership – and to make it appear as entitled (or appear at all) is to expect backlash. The same goes for “readably” queer folks, who would meet a similar fate of harassment and perhaps even assault. Queer folks are highly invisibilized in public space, save for certain areas of the city where they have both created their own community and have been siphoned off by a culture of heteronormativity.”

* Street harassment as hate speech: Michael, a male ally in Toronto wrote the article, “Sexual harassment on the street: Taking misogynist hate speech seriously.” A key point he makes is that street harassment/sexist speech IS hate speech. “More than ever it is time for men to stand up and say that these narratives are wrong and that they show a total disregard for women’s dignity. That this ongoing vocal misogyny is unacceptable. That this disgraceful and daily objectification of women is what it is…an insult to and violation of the basic rights of women. Public, vocal, sexual degradation of women and girls is a form of hate speech. And it needs to be opposed as such.”

* Stopping harassment in Egypt:  USA Today reports on the high rates of street harassment in Eygpt (a new study found 99% of women have faced it) and on the groups working to change that reality. “It’s all about culture and misconceptions,” said Dina Samir, communications manager at HarassMap, who says harassment has worsened over the last decade. “If the culture changes it would put pressure on the government to enforce laws.” “We believe we can play a big role in changing perceptions,” she said. Men are also getting involved because “it’s not just a women’s issue,” said Ayman Nagy, who founded the Anti-Harassment Movement. “It’s a humanity issue.” Nagy and a group of 73 full-time volunteers hold workshops in universities and even in the streets among other places to talk about issues that include sexual abuse. “We need to solve the problem from its roots,” Nagy said. “We’re going to work on the harasser himself, because we think he is a sick person and needs help, and that we can help him.” Other groups such as Operation Anti-Sexual Harassment seek to end mob harassment and assault, and Tahrir Bodyguard has a team of volunteers in bright green vests who intervene when they see sexual violence taking place during protests.”

* Fighting sexual abuse in India: In Lucknow, India, The Telegraph reports, a 25-year-old woman teaches more than 100 teenage girls in mixed martial arts. They are dubbed the “Red Brigade” and aim to humiliate and beat men who abuse women. Most of the recruits are survivors of sexual assault, sexual harassment, and attempted rapes who have “joined her the group in frustration at the failure of Indian political leaders and the police to curb sexual violence.”

*Teaching respect: Radical Step Mom writes about street harassment and other forms of sexual abuse and concludes: “Let’s talk to all our kids, in whatever way we are able (even if that means asking your partner to talk to their kids), about respect for each other’s bodies, boundaries, and peace of mind. Rather than being crippled by our experiences, let’s use them to inform our influence on the kids growing up under our roofs. With love and persistence on our parts, maybe our boys and girls will choose to shape a world in which this idea isn’t radical at all, because it’s standard.”

* Even “mild” street harassment is unacceptable:  Veronica writes about her tolerance for “mild” street harassment after experiencing worse and why that isn’t okay for SCUM, a literary magazine. “At what point had men screaming obscenities at me become so routine that being shouted out twice was a “pretty good” night? When had I developed this arbitrary threshold for abuse from strangers that could change a walk home from pleasant or pretty good to pretty goddamn shit?

*Leave her alone!  The blog PFPT put together a street harassment quiz for men. Hint: most answers are “leave her alone” or “she wants you to leave her alone.”

* Illustrated responses to street harassment: Brittany published great (illustrated) responses to street harassment for the Portland Mercury. She writes, “What men need is a wake-up call: You’re the problem. If not you personally, then your best friend, a coworker, or that dude in your fantasy football league is. You’re making us feel unsafe every day, in a thousand different ways. To help you better identify your harassing behavior, we’ve illustrated the most common types of misogynists—along with the comebacks from us you might not get, given the trap-door spideriness of your attacks, but which you certainly deserve.”

* Men experience street harassment too: Jay wrote about his street harassment experiences for the Portland Mercury too, ending with: “It would be easy to get into a tit for tat argument over quantity but that’s not the point and big doy. Women are at the receiving end more than men and the power dynamic is different. My point is it’s never pleasant to be singled out and have your body be thrown on the table to dissect and discuss. I’m proud of how I look and feel confident when I walk down the street. But men/women, it’s never an invitation to get your creep on. There are rules. There is etiquette. Stop being weird jerks. Try some charm. And don’t try to reach into my pants. Again.”

* Increase in street harassment in Lebanon: The Daily Star reports on the increase in street harassment/sexual violence complaints and what is being done: “Both verbal and physical harassment are punishable under the law, NGOs say that the legal system is ill-equipped to successfully prosecute offenders, one of several reasons why many victims do not report their experiences of harassment to the police. Aware that incidents were frequently going unreported, feminist collective Nasawiya last year launched a hotline for victims of assault and harassment to share their experiences and receive advice and support.”

* Dealing with street harassment: Feminist leader and author Jessica Valenti’s first #AskJessica video for The Nation focuses on how to respond to street harassers.

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Filed Under: News stories, street harassment

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