Archives for July 2013

“I couldn’t believe it had happened when I was with a group of people”

July 31, 2013 By Contributor

In just one of, sadly, many incidents, I had been to my then boyfriend’s graduation in the middle of July and had already panicked about what to wear as I’d run out of clean clothes. I chose a coral coloured mini skirt, white vest and matching coral cardigan. The colours may have been bright but the look was quite smart. As we were walking down the street (me, my ex and his parents), I was subjected to a range of cat calls and slurs by two men stood outside a Burger King. My ex and his parents stayed silent throughout whilst I carried on walking, humiliated and heartbroken that nobody stood up for me. It was broad daylight and on a busy high street and I couldn’t believe it had happened when I was with a group of people.

I’d been used to it happening regularly whilst I was on my own but never expected it to happen in the UK whilst out with a boyfriend and his parents. Fortunately my current boyfriend isn’t so much of a coward and was horrified when I recounted this story. People need to know that this kind of behaviour is not acceptable in any circumstances and women shouldn’t need to feel vulnerable and ashamed whilst going about their daily lives.

Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

Sadly I have a habit of shouting back at abusers, or at least giving them filthy looks. I don’t think it’s very effective and only makes me feel better for a split second. I tend to walk around with headphones on so I won’t always hear what’s being said, even though I know it’s still happening. I almost feel like women should carry megaphones around to publicly humiliate those that are harassing them so that they know how it feels but again, it’s not going to be an effective solution – they’ll only do it again.

– Anonymous

Location: Cardiff, UK

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“Then I felt something hitting me in the arm”

July 31, 2013 By Contributor

I’m a 21-year-old girl with a unique style. I have a funky hairstyle that I used to dyed blue, several piercings on my face and my outfits stand out. I also dislike wearing pants so it’s short skirts for me all the time (the length is max. a bit over knees) and I used to have a pet rat on my shoulder all the time so it’s safe to say I get a lot of attention when I’m on the street and I also live in a very small and closed-minded country.

So when I walk by, people stare and comment all the time. I really don’t mind them staring since it is a bit different and people stare when they see something they’re not used to. Sometimes, when I’m in a good mood, I even smile back. From time to time I even get some nice comments and questions about my style and about my rat which I always answer politely and I even feel happy about it.

However it’s not so pleasant all the time in fact my experiences are rarely pleasant. Since I’ve had this style for several years I ignore the dirty looks and I wear headphones most of the times so I don’t hear rude comments. I even used to tell rude guys that came up to me and called me names right in my face that I have a crazy skinhead boyfriend who fights a lot. I made that up but it made them leave me alone.

I get a lot of comments around Halloween because apparently people fell the need to tell me every year that Halloween was tomorrow/yesterday. I usually ignore those as well but I remember once I was already in a bad mood and I was walking down the street with my friend (she also has a different style) and a couple of guys drove by and one of them yelled from the car, “Hei!! Halloween was yesterday!” then I snapped as I was already in a bad mood and yelled back, “Guess what? I hear that every year! next time you want to yell at someone on the street at least make it original!”

The guy then had this shocked face and just rolled up the window of his car and drove away. This particular situation wasn’t so bad since in the end I told them what was on my mind and I hope that because of the shock they won’t do that ever again, but I do get mad about the whole idea in general. I could as well walk around and tell everyone that wears different clothes then me, “Oh nice costume but Halloween was yesterday!” and believe me sometimes I do think that of some outfits I see on the streets but I don’t because it’s rude and I have no business telling people what they should wear and I would appreciate the same.

Besides rude guys the most attention I get is from – you won’t believe me – old ladies. They always comment on how I’m dressed and how I look and once some old lady even yelled at me and my friends that god doesn’t love us because we were all wearing black. I thought that one was really rude even thought I’m an atheist.

My latest defense from old ladies is that I calmly and nicely tell them, “You know, you shouldn’t judge others because maybe next time someone else will judge you. Didn’t you read the Bible?”

When I say that I also start pointing up. That one always makes them quiet. Also you know what? Not everyone that wears black is a crazy satan worshiper who kills virgins in the name of the dark lord of hell, so please if you have a grandmother that doesn’t understand that please explain it to her because it’s really annoying and besides you can’t really go to police and say that an 80 year old woman harassed you on the street.

I do have many many stories but I really want to share the episode that happened a few months ago and was really one of the worst. I was on the bus on Sunday around 1 p.m. I slept over at my boyfriend’s place and I was wearing leggings and skirt and a hoodie also no makeup and my hair was in a ponytail so besides from piercings and a metal hoodie I looked quite “normal” because I really don’t get all dressed up just to go on bus. Also since it was Sunday the buses are usually empty. The ride is also around 40 minutes. I usually don’t take that bus but the one I do doesn’t drive on weekends. I didn’t know at the time but I found out pretty soon that it was a football game that day and the fans here are really famous for being totally nuts and fight a lot. Also the stadium is only a few stops away from where I live.

So back to the story: I was sitting on the seat for 2 people because as I said earlier buses are usually empty on Sundays so I was sitting on one seat and I had quite a big purse so I put it on the other seat but had a strap around my shoulders. I had my earplugs so I couldn’t really hear anything and I was sitting by the window and was looking out so I wasn’t really paying attention then when I felt something pulling and I look around and there was a guy sitting on my purse!

I thought that was really rude he couldn’t even, you know, poke me a bit so I could move it. So I pulled my purse put it on my knees and rolled my eyes. I really thought that was it and started looking out of the window again. Then I felt something hitting me in the arm every once in a while at first I thought it wasn’t on purpose so I just moved a bit more to the window but then it started more often and it was getting painful I figured out that he was hitting me with his elbow and also his girlfriend was the sitting on his lap and they were making out like inches away from my face and then they were yelling so even thought I had earplugs I could heard them and they really pushed me to the corner and totally invaded my personal space. So apparently they wanted to get me off my seat so they could sit there. I reacted after several minutes when my arm began to hurt because honestly I couldn’t believe that someone would be even doing something like that; I was so shocked.

I finally had enough and hit him with my elbow as hard as I could and took back my space. He totally freaked and started yelling what is wrong with me and he even looked me in face he was just inches away and he had the most psycho looking face I ever saw and he was really huge and I don’t even know how I got the courage to look him back with the pissed off look on my face and show no fear and tell him “what the f*** is wrong with you?” He then yelled, “I can’t even sit here anymore!” he pushed his girlfriend off she almost felt on the ground and then walked away. When he walked away my hand wouldn’t stop shaking and my arm was then red for several days I’m actually surprised that it didn’t bruise because my skin is really light and I get bruises really easy.

I only regret not telling the girlfriend that I she should be ashamed. If my boyfriend acted like that I would dump him on the spot. She even laughed at me. I bet that if he can easily hit girls on the bus because he wants to sit he’ll eventually start hitting his own girlfriend as well. I bet she won’t think it’s funny then. But I couldn’t really say anything to her because I was in shock and also I really didn’t want him to come back I could only act super brave for a while and I was there alone and even thought there was a bus filled with male football fans by that point none did anything. As I mentioned before these dudes are crazy and are always fighting among each other but apparently football is more reason to fight then if you see someone getting hurt. I’m not really the type of girl that wants to be saved by a big strong man but still come on!

I’m sorry for the society we live in where someone can just keep hitting on a bus with bunch of people and none does anything and I’m sorry for that girl. I really hope they broke up before she got hurt.

– Anja

Location: Ljubljana, Slovenia

Share your street harassment story for the blog.

“I wanted to make sure it wasn’t my fault”

July 31, 2013 By Contributor

I am currently 18 and like many others have experienced street harassment since becoming a teen. Because I work in a professional environment, I am required to wear skirts or dresses, which is often seen by others as a way of encouraging staring, inappropriate comments, and stalking.

Around the age of 15 I experienced one of the most offensive experiences in my young life. I was wearing heeled boots walking home when about 3 cars pulled over and honked at me, unsure of what to do I kept walking head high, as I turned the corner another car intercepted me waving a fan of money out his window, it so humiliating I never mentioned it to my parents.

Little did I know it was just the start of it.

Another incident that stands out it happened during lunch when my best friend and her boyfriend invited me out to eat, they both happened to be in Air Force uniform, that did not stop an older man from calling me “Baby” and then standing up and following me in an attempt to look under my dress.

The most recent incident was actually when my mother and I were at a store. Two men disgustedly continued to stare at me even when I and then my mom gave them the look. When I got home my dad blamed it on me for the way I was dressed….

That day was when I started looking up other similar experiences. I wanted to know I wasn’t the only one, I wanted to make sure it wasn’t my fault, I wanted to be sure that could keep buying my pretty dresses and doing my hair and makeup without feeling responsible for the perverted comments that were unwelcome and constantly thrown at me.

– Anonymous

Location: Not listed

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“I should also be allowed to ride the bus in peace”

July 30, 2013 By Contributor

Maybe this is not the worst kind of occurrence, but I would still call it harassment.

I look alternative, with piercings and ear tunnels, and although this should not even be an issue, I tend to dress in a way that covers me up pretty much.

So, I was on the bus, minding my own business, surfing the Internet on my phone, when this posh guy sat down one seat away from me and put his man-bag on the seat beside me. He asked me where the bus was going, and I told him very, very curtly. It was pretty obvious I am not a person up for small talk. Two minutes later, he asked me where I was from, and he had to ask, like, 3 times until I even looked up, startled, because I was so immersed in texting a friend. I started shouting at him so that the whole bus would hear and I told him to stop harassing me. Of course, the inevitable nonsense followed, he called me rude and badly educated (as if that mattered) and made it seem like I was the aggressor.

Maybe I don’t get something here, but I was quiet, I was sitting in the corner minding my own business, and I paid for the bus ticket like everybody else, so I should also be allowed to ride the bus in peace. It was so clearly a power thing, because that type of person would probably call the police if an alternative/goth etc person moved in next to them.

We must react, we must shame these men, let everyone know their real face, and we need laws to protect us, asap!

Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

We need laws, simple as. Behavior like this must be punished. There should be a class for boys only in school teaching them to behave properly, so they don’t grow into creeps. We need to scream, shout and do everything possible to alert everyone around us to these men. Don’t be afraid to voice your feelings!!! We need to show that we can retaliate!!!

– Anonymous

Location: London, UK

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Canada: They Asked for the Numbers

July 29, 2013 By Correspondent

By: Lisane Thirsk, Ottawa, Canada, SSH Correspondent

Last week, Hollaback! Ottawa released Our city, our space, our voice: A report on street harassment in Ottawa. The report is based on an online survey with more than 300 respondents, as well as testimony from an open forum.

Among other findings, it revealed that:

* 97% of respondents had experienced a form of street harassment in the past year
* 44% of respondents had experienced street harassment at least once on public transportation
* Only 10% of respondents had reported an incident of street harassment

The report has prompted some important conversation among Ottawa residents. It’s a conversation Hollaback! Ottawa’s site director Julie Lalonde initiated with city officials back in February after noting a trend in the stories submitted and mapped on the Hollaback! Ottawa website: street harassment was often taking place on buses or at bus stops.

But at the initial meeting requested by Julie, local government and public transit officials maintained that she didn’t have enough quantifiable evidence to show that street harassment is frequent on buses in Ottawa.

Julie isn’t one to be deterred. She wasted no time in calling on other local feminist organizations and Hollaback! volunteers, including myself, to help organize the forum, design the survey, and analyze the findings to better understand the problem and potential solutions.

The data compiled sheds light on a diversity of experiences (many truly horrifying), reveals other ‘hot spots’ where harassment occurs (libraries and parks), and captures the community’s determination to put an end to street harassment by engaging bystanders (amazing!).

In the lead-up to the report’s release, I had the opportunity to attend a series of follow-up meetings with Julie and city officials. The meetings became more productive and were likely granted urgency by the city following news coverage about a series of sexual assaults on buses.

Throughout these processes I kept reflecting on how the problem of street harassment was at first dismissed by officials claiming that the stories submitted to Hollaback! Ottawa weren’t themselves legitimate enough to justify further conversation.

Yet there are too many successful initiatives out there to ignore the benefits of crowdsourcing this type of information about violence against women.

Whenever skepticism about these types of initiatives blocks or delays action to stop violence, we need to ask some questions. Are women being silenced, either in person or online? Are we erasing the meaning survivors attribute to their own experiences? Why are those in positions of power so inclined to say, “But someone could have just fabricated those online submissions”?

I do understand the necessity of more traditional data-collection methods. Are there downsides to drawing conclusions from crowdsourced data? Yes. But are there also drawbacks to sexual violence data collected through formal surveys, interviews, focus groups or police records? Absolutely.

Above all, we can’t assume that all women feel safe and empowered to speak out and report street harassment, especially to authority figures. As in any country, survivors in Canada face both social and institutional barriers to reporting sexual violence. Here in Ottawa we heard over and over at the forum and in the survey responses, “Reporting is really hard.”

Hopefully the results of Hollaback! Ottawa’s report will spur more efforts to address street harassment throughout the city. The results paint a discouraging but unsurprising picture, considering the available statistics on the prevalence of street harassment globally. The low level of reporting in Ottawa is also in line with government studies showing that about one in ten sexual assaults are reported to police (Statistics Canada). With this in mind, the official number of reported sexual assaults on transit, for example, represents only a fraction of the problem in Ottawa.

What kinds of numbers will we require before taking concrete action to prevent street harassment?

To me, it’s not just the numbers that speak for themselves. The stories submitted online also speak volumes about the need for action. Let’s trust those voices too.

Lisane works in the non-profit communications sector and supports local anti-street harassment advocacy through Hollaback! Ottawa. In 2012, she completed a Master’s in Socio-Legal Studies at York University in Toronto, where she wrote her Major Research Paper on gender-based street harassment. She holds a B.A. in Latin American Studies and Spanish from the University of British Columbia.