I currently attend UC Berkeley. I’m a “returned student” here, so I’m older than the average student, but this does not stop the harassment. Mostly it’s the men who inhabit a park that is a homeless haven in the middle of living areas. (Every time the university – which now owns the park – has tried to improve the situation a very vocal homeless lobby overwhelms their efforts – though it appears that none of the members of this lobby lives here and deals with this.)
I have a dog, and an apartment, which means that I have to walk her 2 to 3 times a day, in the neighborhood. Other times, I’m on my way to class or picking up dinner on Telegraph Avenue. Today I was headed into the post office – it’s a door at the end of an alleyway – and just as I turned toward the entrance, a man said – quite close to my shoulder – “Hi, sweetie.” I pretended not to hear, but I was rattled.
One guy tells me to “Smile!” every time I pass him.
Three times now I’ve had a pair of (different) men approach me under the guise of petting my dog and before a few minutes pass, they have said, “Is it hard being so beautiful?” or “What’s your name? I bet I have it tattooed on my chest.”
The worst was, 4 p.m., with people all around, a guy who was careening toward me with his arms outstretched, on his way to embracing me. I shouted “NO! NO! NO!” and he swerved away repeating, “Sorry…sorry!”
These are just a few of many – and I can only imagine what the young girls here are dealing with.
This guy today, with his, “Hi, Sweetie” really bothered me. He was close and unexpected. Had I not been making a turn, he would have been walking with me up a long sidewalk. And it’s easy to see where I live, since I have to end up there – and the park is so close by…and the dog makes me recognizable…
I kept ruminating about what I should have or could have said in response. Something like, “Seriously??” Or repeatedly saying, “Excuse me? I still didn’t get that – excuse me?” forcing him to repeat it until he got how stupid it was.
I don’t know…I have no solution. And I never even saw his face. I just know that I feel invaded every single time it happens, as if just by walking my dog, I’m open to comment. I must smile upon command, just because some guy tells me to. I’m accessible. And I hate it.
– Anonymous
Location: Berkeley, CA
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