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Archives for August 2013

Harassed at the DMV

August 21, 2013 By Contributor

Today I was in line at the DMV and this guy stared at me for an hour! At first, I tried ignoring him, thinking maybe it was me. But after awhile, I realized he was staring at me. The guy behind me even noticed it!

After yelling at him to stop several times, I called the cops. They never came. I feel so angry and fed up. I don’t get why guys express their feelings this way. I just wish we could stop it or make men see that what they are doing is wrong.

– Anonymous

Location: Los Angeles, California

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

20th Anniversary of Anti-Harassment Book!

August 21, 2013 By HKearl

This is an excerpt of an interview I conducted with Marty Langelan for Fem2pt0. Read the full interview on their website.

I spent years feeling annoyed, angry, and scared by gender-based street harassment. In 2007, when I began research for a master’s thesis on the topic, I was very grateful to find the book Back Off: How to Confront and Stop Sexual Harassment and Harassers. This ground-breaking book was authored by Marty Langelan, the former president of the DC Rape Crisis Center, an economist, activist, and martial artist. I read every page of it, relieved that there was both an explanation for my experiences and a toolkit of tactics for what to do about it.

This summer marks the twentieth anniversary of the publication of Back Off, and Langelan is still tackling all kinds of harassment. She’s working with the Washington Metropolitan Area Transit Authority to design sexual harassment trainings this fall for more than 3,000 frontline bus and subway employees.

Because her work – and her book – is so essential to the on-going efforts to address sexual harassment in workplaces, schools, and public spaces worldwide, I was thrilled when she agreed to an interview.

interview holly

Q. Holly Kearl (HK): Why did you write your book?

 Marty Langelan (ML): Harassment was “normal” back then. It was happening everywhere. If you managed to sidestep the sleazy professors, bosses, and coaches, you ran into slimy landlords, creeps in the park, gropers on the bus, and gangs of sexual bullies on the corner.

They did it anytime they felt like it. They did it for a sexual turn-on, or an ego-boosting sense of power, or just because they liked humiliating women. They did it because they could.

I was teaching self-defense for women and kids at the DC Rape Crisis Center, and doing research on how to stop sexual assault. My friends at Women against Rape in Columbus, Ohio, were doing the same.

We learned that harassment is more than just creepy. Some harassers were “rape-testing” women, using sexual harassment to select victims for assault, looking for women who seemed unlikely to fight back. It might start as a simple verbal intrusion, but any harasser, any time, could decide to escalate:  Follow you, grab you, and shove you up against a wall. It made me so angry.

Being silent did nothing to stop the aggressors. Cussing-crazy-lady tirades just turned into violence.

We needed to change the predator-prey dynamics. We needed tactics that would make women safer (stop the harasser fast, without escalation) and create social change (make him think twice about ever trying it again). We needed verbal self-defense.

So we began to challenge harassers with nonviolent confrontation. Instead of scurrying away like scared rabbits, we began to walk up to the harassers, try some carefully structured verbal judo, and analyze the results. We tested and fine-tuned tactics to find out what worked. (We had plenty of opportunities for testing – we were all getting harassed, all the time.)

By 1986 we declared Washington DC a “Hassle-Free Zone,” with public speak-outs, leaflets and posters, and training sessions all over town. We took back neighborhood parks and street corners with ethical, direct, nonviolent action.

When Anita Hill testified at the Clarence Thomas hearing, I got furious all over again. Women everywhere talked about it — people were shocked to find out that almost every single woman they knew had been harassed. But most women still felt defeated. They still just quit the job, dropped out of school, stopped using that park or bus stop, and crossed the street to avoid harassers. I hate it when people feel helpless.

So I sent out a nationwide survey, asking, “Have you ever successfully stopped a harasser? Tell us what you did, what worked.” That survey flew across the country.  Responses flooded in, first from the U.S., then from around the world.

And when I analyzed the results, all the successful tactics had the same core structure. They were all versions of the same verbal judo we were using in DC – fast, clear, principled nonviolent action that changed the power dynamics and stopped harassers cold. We had an entire toolkit of tactics that worked.

It was a turning point. I don’t know whether we can stop rape in our lifetime, but we sure can stop harassers. I wrote Back Off so that no harasser could ever make us feel helpless again.

Read more.

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Filed Under: Activist Interviews, street harassment

NYC: New App for Reporting Harassment

August 20, 2013 By HKearl

Building on a recommendation from the SSH Book to document where street harassment is happening to better be able to address it, Hollaback! has teamed up with the New York City Council to launch the Hollaback! app.

Via Think Progress:

“The new app allows victims or witnesses to upload, in real time, information about where they experienced harassment on the street. It creates a map of pinned locations where harassment occurs, providing near-instant feedback to the city council’s and mayor’s offices. The app collects demographic data, too, to help officials better understand the details of where harassment occurs and who it happens to.”

This easier way to report incidents to Hollaback’s database and the option to report it to city council members has the potential to make a difference in how street harassment is documented and understood. It’s great that the app isn’t just for tracking gender-based street harassment, but also forms like racial harassment. It also lets you report harassment  you witness, not just what you experience.

However, it’s important to note that often the people who are most vulnerable to harassment may not have access to a phone with an app (such as young teenagers, homeless people, poor people) so they will still have a harder time reporting incidents.

And, city council speaker and mayoral candidate Christine Quinn is the main backer of the app, yet she favors a form of street harassment: Stop and Frisk (which, as of last week, is now unconstitutional).

Via Jezebel:

“Mariame Kaba (@PrisonCulture), founder of Project NIA, an advocacy organization that supports youth in trouble with the law, argued in a series of tweets that it’s “not as simple as throwing around slogans about ‘keeping women safe.”

“Which women?” she asked. “What do you mean by ‘safe?; HOW are you proposing to create that safety? ALL of these questions are gendered, racialized + age-specific, geographically-specific, etc… It isn’t neat and it isn’t simple.”

Street harassment is complex and there are no easy answers for how to deal with it… in fact there will never be just one answer because it impacts so many groups of people in various communities differently.

I do see it as promising that city council members want to address this issue, and I hope they will listen to the concerns of people like Kaba so they can improve their efforts and make them more inclusive and effective. It will be interesting to see how the app is used and what impact it may or may not have on stopping street harassment.

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Filed Under: hollaback, News stories, street harassment

NY: Join the Goddess Walk on Saturday!

August 20, 2013 By HKearl

Via Facebook Event Page

THE GODDESS WALK is an Anti-Street Harassment rally taking place in BED-STUY BROOKLYN.  I invite Black women, LGBTQ folk and our Allies to walk in Solidarity & Sisterhood for RESPECT in the streets & to help END STREET HARASSMENT in our community!!!

               SATURDAY JULY 14th at 12pm

                       ~FULTON PARK~

                        BROOKLYN, NY

Participants are encouraged to *Dress in whatever* makes them feel like a GODDESS!

Bring ROSES (we’ll drop the rose petals along our walk:) Signs, Posters, Banners that EXPRESS your desire to be respected regardless of your gender, race, color, or sexual orientation!!!

We’ll start our Walk in Fulton Park at 12pm, then walk through the neighborhood of Bed-Stuy Brooklyn. Following the march there will be Spoken WORD, Live DRUMMING, SINGING, DANCING, & Small Group Self -Defense Demonstrations in the park!

Nearest Transit: A, C to Utica Ave.

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Filed Under: Events, street harassment

“Nothing stops the harassers from talking to me”

August 19, 2013 By Contributor

I face street harassment on a daily basis, whether it’s overt or just being looked at like a piece of meat. My friend never believed me because he is a man, until he went to visit me and I said, “Walk half a block behind me so that they don’t think we’re together.”

He lasted half a block before he caught up to me, stating that men were horrible.

I live in the Bronx, I haven’t had a date in 15 years nor tried to. I can’t afford to live anywhere nice, because the city is so unaffordable no single people can afford to live anywhere nice. I can’t afford to have cab fare to my home every time I would go out on a date, I have heard horror stories of the arguments my girlfriends get into with dates when they insist they want to take the subway and yes, they do it all the time, it’s safe “enough”. Which it generally is, late at night, ironically, it’s the stepping out on a date, or even to work looking like a woman, before the sun goes down, that is the major problem. I wore a dress exactly once in my neighborhood in broad daylight and I’d rather be shot than do it again.

You can’t get a yellow cab driver to go to my neighborhood, I’ve heard the same thing from women who live in Inwood, Kew Gardens, even Astoria. If they will acquiesce, they ask for directions. I don’t drive but have gleaned 2 sets of perfectly adequate directions by taking buses, I once had a willing cab driver shake his head to both sets of my directions. I’ve probably taken about a dozen cabs over the past 10 years and 65% of those cabdrivers have hit on me. One of them thought it was cute to keep repeatedly hitting the “lock” and “unlock” buttons on all the car doors after I’d refused to buy the book he was hawking and snubbed his “charming” conversation.

I’m already dressing in the most nondescript/dowdy business clothes I can get and eschewing all makeup 95% of the time, I could stand to lose 30 pounds, but nothing stops the harassers from talking to me – just the nice men. Approximately 2 human-seeming men speak to me on the streets of Manhattan per year (unfortunately most are tourists so no great dating potential). The rest, I fear, have learned the lesson we need the harassers to learn. They seem scared to look at me, and it’s to the point where I’m starting to develop a literal complex.

Optional: Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

1. Send the education to the outer boroughs. Men in Manhattan have, by and large, learned the lesson – too well.

2. Better training for cabdrivers. The amount of cabdrivers who haven’t learned they can’t refuse fares and shouldn’t be hitting on their passengers seems astounding.

3. Make street loitering a misdemeanor and arrest people. Don’t just give lip service to it, patrol and arrest them. (Considering that some days I wish I could shoot them, this is actually a good deal for the loiterers.) No one needs to live their lives on the street. Anything decent (conversation), you can get the same effect by inviting your friends to come and sit in your living room.

Because I don’t care about a Starbucks, or an art gallery, or an H&M, or a neighborhood bar, though all those things are nice. I’m not proud. I don’t care what my neighbors are doing inside their apartments as long as it doesn’t affect me. I can go to all those places in other neighborhoods – if I can bear the walk to get on the subway. Sweep the streets of the “hey babys”, and single women in the city would become a lot more adventuresome in their housing choices.

– Anonymous

Location: Bronx/New York City

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

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