Street harassment is a frequent incident in my life but this was one of the first incidents.
When I was 14 and I was walking home, I was at the bus stop right by my house, a guy around late 20’s/early 30’s started talking me, asked me how old I was, told me I was beautiful and asked where I was going. I told him I was going to my boyfriend’s house (I only said that in hopes it would be a deterrent, it wasn’t).
I can’t really remember what was said after, but I just remember I didn’t want to be rude and I didn’t know how to deal with that type of situation, I think I had said goodbye and then he kissed my hand, said goodbye and hugged me, then hugged me tightly, and tried to kiss me on the mouth but I turned my head and instead he ended up kissing my face multiple times.
I kept wriggling and said can you let me go please, and he eventually loosened his grip and I quickly walked away and didn’t turn around to see if he was following me but I walked around my block three times to make sure he wasn’t following me so he wouldn’t know where I lived.
I get harassed pretty much every time I leave my house but seven years later and this was the worst incident of someone being physical with me when I was 14 and didn’t know how to take care of my self properly.
Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?
When I can be in the mood to not be rude, I tend to try and explain how and why it’s not okay to the people harassing me. I usually try the “what if it was your younger sister/daughter/mother” approach. However, I don’t agree as although it humanizes the victim, it only really perpetuates the culture by suggesting that “a woman is only valuable in so much as she is loved or valued by a man.”
However, I feel that as we are not beyond the stages of where this is even actually being taken seriously by many, that having the harassers think of their loved ones in the same situation make them feel gross and yucky about themselves and hopefully stop.
– Nova
Location: London, UK
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